


Echo of a Broken Memory

by AloneShadow



Category: Almost Human
Genre: Action and more tags will come, Android Feelings, Androids, Angst, Bromance, Caring Dorian, Caring John, Hurt John Kennex, Hurt/Comfort, Investigations, Memories, Mild Language, Plotting like a boss, Possible sequel to come, Second season theory, Slow start is slow, To the other side of the Wall, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Violence, all aboard the train of feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-06-19
Packaged: 2018-11-01 12:36:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 53,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10921929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AloneShadow/pseuds/AloneShadow
Summary: A year passed since John Kennex solved the Straw Man case. He and Dorian kept working together and everything seemed to go just fine. Until they are called to investigate a particular homicide: from there, their world will start to go into pieces, and put them back together won't be easy.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another old fic that I left incomplete years ago, now finally complete and ready for a dramatically big editing. Just the first chapter was at least double long than it is now. Blabbing with myself about androids it's something I'm particularly proud, I must say.

"John." 

"Yeah…" 

"Can I ask you something?"

"I'm so done with all these shi-" 

"Are you even listening?" Dorian said with a glare, patience or tired was always difficult to say, making both of them stop next to John's car. 

"Yes. I'm…" John sighed, putting the phone away, "No. What were you saying?" 

"Can I ask you something?" 

"Since when you need my permission?" he said hopping into the driver's seat. 

Dorian stared at the Police Station behind them for a moment before entering the car, sitting next to him. 

John blinked, "Well?" 

"I'm not sure how to make it possible for you to understand my question…" 

"Ok... Well, you're the android. I am sure you'll figure something out." John said, passing a hand over his eyes before start the engine, but when there was still silence, he looked at Dorian again: he saw that woman- that sex-bot being deactivated just a few minutes ago and apparently, he was still shaken from what happened. If a robot can be _shaken_ by something. That something, this time, was an investigation about people using human’s skin on androids, on sex-bot, the same thing happened a year before. Women had been kidnapped, some of them didn’t make it and, in the end, one of the last androids found in that hell of a place had to be deactivated. 

Dorian asked to attend, and again John didn't fully understand his decision. Bots bond? Maybe was just pity? DRNs were made to feel after all… and that's why they weren't around anymore. Irony.

"I wasn't expecting something like this to happen again, but we did a good job. Again. All considered." John said. 

"If we'd made a good job the first time, there wouldn't be a second time." 

"No one is perfect, and we can't stop all the crazy people in this city." 

"I know. You're still around." 

"Ah- Ah. Very funny. Shut up and drive, would you?" Snorted John, trying to slide a bit down on the seat while Dorian silently took control of the car that moved along with the rest of the evening traffic. "So, you're going to ask your question or not?" 

"I was just thinking…" 

"Yes?" 

"What's the point of human's memory?" 

John open his mouth to say something, closed it, frowned and looked at him, " _What's the point_ of it? It's not some kind of bonus you can choose to add or remove, you know?" 

"I know, but… there’s something I can’t fully understand…" 

"You can't understand why we have memories?" 

"I know humans need memory to remember things, that's also how you learn about pain or danger, how you can fell joy and sadness... but you can't keep all the memories somewhere. Not humanly speaking." Dorian saw the deep frown on the detective's face still there, "I was comparing my memory and yours: I can keep everything in my mind until a reset. Your brain can’t do that, so you'll forget something, no matter what." 

Again, John managed to speak only at the second attempt, "Well, we can't remember the beginning of our lives or other little things, but we can live without them anyway."

"What if something important happened in the first year of your life? What if you wanted to keep those memories but you couldn't?" 

"What if I don't want to?" 

Dorian stopped for two seconds, "You don't?" 

"My- probably the first years of everyone's life were just screams, food and poop everywhere, so yeah, I think I'll pass." 

"Ok, not the first years. What about later on?" 

"Dorian, we just deal with forgetting things. There’s nothing we can do about it… aside from some methods that can help you get back memories from the past- I tested them myself, but I know there's a limit, so the first years of a life are probably lost forever." 

"And that's fine to you?" 

"Like I said, we don’t need-" John looked at him, "So you’re saying that it's fine for you to remember everything?" 

"Of course is-" 

"Liar." 

"What?" 

"You were thinking about our old case just now, the human’s skin traffic of the last year - about that woman, that last android that had to be deactivated." 

Dorian thought for a moment, then said with a low voice, "It's just… it was weird." 

"What?" 

"That I remembered about her." 

"That’s weird?" 

"Yes." 

"You can probably remember the entire humankind’s history in that skull of yours, and you're telling me that it's a problem for you to remember a girl? Another bot, from an old case we solved?" 

"I just… I remembered her so suddenly…" Dorian looked at the detective that just shrugged, blinking a mute _So?_ and Dorian sighed, "Android's memory is about files, John. I shouldn't just suddenly think about something from my own past." 

"Why not?" 

"You didn’t even ask Rudy how my brain works, isn't it? You just run along with everything in your life?" 

"Hey, I like that. It could be my new personal quote." 

Dorian's face was stone cold, "That was supposed to sound funny or…?" 

" _It was_ funny." 

"I'm not laughing." 

"You should," John said with a grin that became a bad- hidden laugh when the android kept his stone cold expression. "Come on, it was already a success when I didn't throw you on the highway the first day. Rudy told me you were fine and ready to work and that was enough for me. I know that DRNs are special but-" 

"Did you just said that I am special?" 

"-but as long as you won't be the death of me, we'll be fine." 

"Weird hearing that from a hater of the synthetics."

"I'm not a hater, I just… I just have trust issues, like my therapist, you and the Captain used to say." He sighed, too late to take that back.

“Admitting it is the first step, John. I’m proud of you.” 

“Shut up.” 

"But,” Dorian continued with a grin, “you also trusted me more than any other officer would have.”

"And you should be grateful about that, instead of insulting my funny jokes- because they are funny. You should be thankful about my _run along with everything_." 

Dorian sighed again, but smiled patiently, "I am." He stared at the profile of the detective for a moment, and then looked at the road. They moved just some meters before the car stopped again. "I'll need Rudy to check me up." 

"Uh? Why?" 

"I think something's wrong with me." 

"Because you thought about something happened a year ago?" 

"No, because I feel sad about a file without even checking it." 

“You probably just open the case’s file in automatic or something-“ 

“I didn’t.” 

John looked better at him, now a bit worried, "You're the one always trying to be more human, now you're scared because you felt something? DRN weren't built to feel? Empathy and stuff?" 

"Not something like this…" Dorian stopped and looked down, "I don't think I like this." 

John laughed openly now, "You just answer your first question by yourself." 

"I did?" 

"Remember everything means to remember _everything_ , good and bad. Humans tend to forget bad things and is not easy, I can assure you that." 

Dorian was looking at him seriously now, "Like a filter." 

"A filter, yeah. We usually lose more than we want, but sometimes is for the better… not when you forget where you put the TV's remote. I hate when that happens." John looked curiously at him, "You can't add a filter to your files?" 

"Not for good or bad. Rudy usually deletes the ones I don't need anymore." 

John nodded, thinking about all the discussion they just had, and then said, "I guess you're right too, though. I've lost my mom when I was a kid, so it would be nice to have more memories with her." He saw Dorian staring, so he quickly cleared his throat and closing his eyes. 

Dorian saw him turning a bit to the other side, with the intention to end the discussion for now. He took a deep breath and kept driving.

-.-.-.-

"You- sorry, you _what_?" Rudy sat down with his first cup of coffee of the day, still half asleep, looking confused at the DRN in front of him.

"I think I had a dream," Dorian said. 

Rudy blinked few times, trying to wake up completely, "O-ok…" he placed the cup down on the desk thoughtfully, then looked back at him, "Wait, that is not really ok…" 

"I know it's not." 

"How… when? When it happened?" 

"Some days ago, after we closed the skin’s traffic case." 

"Oh… uh… alright. W-what did you dream about?" Rudy saw him look down, "It will stay between us, don't worry." 

Dorian sat down in front on him, "It was something that I shouldn't be able to see again." He saw him waiting for him to continue, “I thought it was a dream, but I can’t dream, so…” Dorian sighed, “I showed it to you a year ago… you call it a glitch in my system.”

"A glitch…? Oh, you- you mean that child? With the toy?" Rudy said, then frowned, "But that’s impossible, I deleted it. You saw me when I fixed that…" the worried look on the android's face only grow more worried. "Did you keep a copy of it somewhere else?" 

"No." 

"Then how is it possible that-" 

"It’s still there. I don't know how." 

Rudy studied him with an unsure glare, then stood up, "I'll delete it again. I need… I will check your system, maybe some other glitch happened and-" 

"Rudy, maybe… Should we try to know more about this? Why I have these imagines or how a got them..." 

"Dorian, you are my friend, there are very few things I wouldn't do for you, but this… I don't think it would be safe for you to dig in there. In those - pictures." 

"I know, but maybe they are there for a reason? I never dreamed anything, or had this kind of glitch before... why me? Why now?" 

"I don't know, but…" Rudy sat down again, "It's probably nothing." 

"You think so?" 

"If not, that would mean that your system is malfunctioning." Rudy said, looking into his eyes, "Or something worse." 

Dorian stayed silent but more than one scary thoughts came to his mind. 

"I'm not saying that you'll go crazy, of course,” Rudy added as if he could read his mind, “but- we'll fix it. I'll fix it, don't worry." 

Dorian watched him moving here and there, preparing for the checkup, and slowly looked down. 

 

"I'm worried, John." 

The detective looked up from his coffee, finding Rudy standing in front of the little table outside the cafeteria of the Police Station, "Good morning to you too." 

"I need to talk to you." Rudy said, looking around before lower his voice, "Privately." 

John nodded slowly, "Ok… can I take the coffee with me or…?" 

"S-sure. Of course, we- we can talk just outside." 

After some minutes, they were in the little square outside the station; the air was still pretty cold for being March, but a bit of sun was appearing through the clouds. 

"Where's Dorian?" John asked, sitting on one of the benches under the trees. 

"He's in the lab. We talked this morning. I'm running some checkups on him right now." Rudy said, arms crossed, looking everywhere. 

"Rudy, you're making me nervous." He saw him look back at him, "Sit down, breath and tell me what's wrong." 

He looked almost in pain, but sat down next to him, "I don't know. I usually understand everything, but this… this is… I don't know." 

"I need you to be a bit more specific…" 

Rudy took a deep breath, "Dorian told me that you two had a little chat about human’s and android’s memory…" 

"Yeah… that was kind of unexpected." 

Rudy stared at him, "You don't… you haven't talked to him about the memory we saw last year, right?" 

John’s expression became more serious, lowering the coffee, "No. You told me was better don’t talk about it with him." 

"Yes. So you two don’t- Dorian haven’t said something about it before?" 

"No. After you deleted those images he never brings the thing up anymore.” John took a breath, "But he was a bit weird after the sex-bot was deactivated, the other day..." 

"Why? Weird how?" 

"Well, that he said that he remembered of the first human’s skin case we solved, of that woman- that sex-bot being deactivated. He said that it was weird that he could remember about her… that he just- _thought_ about her and feel sad." John looked at him with a serious expression, "That's why he wanted to talk to you and do some checkups… and _that's_ why he waited two days before come to you: look at your face… Rudy, are you going to faint?" he sighed at the pale and terrified expression of the doctor.

Rudy stood up, starting to walk back and forth, eyes on the ground, mind probably spinning in a storm of thoughts. 

John followed him with his eyes, "Look, maybe it's not that terrible…" 

"Not terrib-" Rudy took a breath to calm himself, "Androids don't have a memory of their own, John. DRN, MX, none of them have the… they can't recall what happened in the past like we do. For how I would dread to see that happen one day, they still have data to store, they- they have files to check, that's their memory." 

"I know. Maybe he just looked into the old files without realizing it." 

"He wasn't." 

"How you know?" 

"Because he sure would remember if he had. Same goes for that memory- or that dream, the glitch. I don't even know how to call it anymore." 

John stared at him for a moment, “So he saw that memory again?” 

“Some nights ago, while he was charging. He… he didn’t tell you?” Rudy saw him shake his head in no, and he sighed. "But I removed it the same day we found it. When I showed it to you, a year ago, Dorian’s system was already clean. It shouldn't be there anymore." 

They stared at each other for a moment, then John said, "Ok… how can we fix this? What do you want me to do?" 

Rudy shrugged and sat down next to him, looking down at the floor, "I don't know." 

"It's that bad?" 

"Maybe not. Maybe it's something that won't change anything about him… or maybe this is what led the DRN series to be decommissioned." Rudy took a deep breath, "Maybe this is how it started, with-" he blinked, surprised. 

"With what?" 

"Evolution. Androids starting to evolve on their own, changing themselves into something more… human." 

John huffed a laugh, "Are we really talking about this?" 

"Think about it- John…" he saw him stood, shaking his head, "Just think about it. They- they were made to feel like us, and- and the synthetic soul helped on that… After all, the DRN were decommissioned because they started to feel too much." 

John throw the empty cup in the trash can and turned to look at him, "So you're saying that the Synthetic soul is the cause of this?" 

"Maybe." 

"How can that thing be related to that? To Dorian’s memory? It's not- it's not an actual human soul, Doctor Vaughn couldn't do such a thing." 

"We don't know that." 

John looked at him almost in disbelief, but that kind of look on Rudy's face was never a good sign. The doctor could be awkward, clumsy and nervous almost all the time, but he was a scientist too, he knew many things about his work... Things not as innocent as robotic butterflies. "Rudy, what's your point? Because so far we have a damn lot of questions, creepy conspiracies and not a clue about how to fix Dorian." 

Rudy kept staring down for a moment then said, "I'll delete the memory again and we'll see what happen." 

"That's it?" 

"If you want to do a report about it and let Dorian be retired for the next couple of years, go ahead." 

"He wouldn't be retired, come on, he didn’t do anything." 

"In the best case, he will be. In the worst case, they would take him away to study his system, to see what's going on inside of him." Rudy said, voice nervous, but his eyes were stone cold, "If there will be a way to fix the _glitch_ permanently, Dorian will probably be given back to you like one of the other DRN working in the city. If there won’t be any guarantee that he will be alright, then I doubt we'll ever see him again at all." And there his face became sad and again he was the skinny, jumpy doctor, "And I don't want to come at any of these conclusions." He finished, slowly shaking his head.

John took a deep breath and sat next to him again. "You know, that's something I never understood…" 

"What?" 

"The DRNs going crazy. If they were becoming more human, why they couldn't manage to bare the feelings? If they were designed to be better than us, then how can we stand all the shit that happens to us but they couldn't?" 

"You're asking for a theory?" 

"Need to start somewhere." 

"Well, personally, I always thought that the Synthetic souls were more… pure than human's." 

"Pure?" 

Rudy nodded, "Androids are created with a standard vision of the world. They know the rules, they know what to do and what not… They don’t actually try to understand the difference between good and evil. Rules help to live in peace, so they don't need anything else, but feelings are more complicated, and when they saw all the wrong that was happening…" he took a breath, "I think that's what slowly overwhelmed them. It was too much of everything, and not being able to control it- to fix it." He sighed, "Humans grow up, at some point we know how the world goes, but the DRNs feel it way more than that, and… they just couldn't accept it. I think." 

John thought for a moment, "I guess that’s what you can call a horrible first impression on someone." 

Rudy took a deep breath, "I wonder if Doctor Vaughn's plan was to actually show us this. What humans are able to do to an innocent soul just showing the world we live in." 

John couldn't stop himself from wondering what Dorian could've thought about that. 

"Maybe it would be different if the DRNs could’ve been able to feel love as well." Rudy laughed nervously. 

The detective almost fell from the bench, "For God's sake, Rudy…" 

"Well, is not everything bad in the world… I was just trying to lighten the mood, sorry." He said looking down, then back at him, "I told you once, and I'll tell you again: keep an eye on Dorian. I don't want him to be deactivated, but… we know what could happen." 

"Dorian said something about all this?" 

"That he would like to understand the anomaly," Rudy said, standing up, "and I think that he suspect that that’s not just a glitch… but I think that he also knows that is better not to investigate any further. For now, at least." 

"You want me to… I have to talk to him about it?" 

"No. I mean, it's probably better to wait… but that is up to you. Maybe he will ask you himself… just be careful and don't push him to the limit, ok?" 

"I'll try." 

"If anything happens, call me." That said, Rudy nodded and walked back inside the building.


	2. Chapter 2

_What you think makes me different? Why shouldn't you be scared of me?_   
_What should I feel? What I shouldn't?_   
_What's the difference between me and you? Can you see it? ...Can I?_

 

"John?" 

The Detective opened his eyes in a little gasp, sat on the driver seat of his car. 

Dorian was standing next to him, outside, a hand on the open door, blue lines scanning him and a light frown on his face, "You were having a nightmare?" 

"No… I don't know." He moved his legs outside and rubbed over his eyes with a hand, trying to wake up, before looking around: he left the Police Station to stay alone after that confusing and stressful chat with Rudy, and fell asleep in the car parked on the other side of the road. Looking at the hour, he was surprised to see that he slept for almost two hours straight. 

After a moment, he looked back and up at the android that was still staring at him, "What?" 

"You ok?" 

"Yeah, I… I was waiting for you. What took you so long?" 

"Rudy had to delete some files and the checkups took a bit more than usual. I searched for you in the Station but no one saw you there, so I had to use your locator. Sorry to keep you waiting." 

"Whatever it takes to keep you up and safe." John hopped out of the car, stretching his back. 

"You were worried about me?" 

"You're my partner. Of course I worry about you." He said, and when he didn't heard any answer he turned around, finding him staring in surprise. "Gotcha." The detective smiled slyly, moving to the open the door of the back seats. 

"That… was cruel of you, John." 

"Your face worth it." He grabbed his jacket and then looked at him again, but the DRN was smiling slightly, waiting. John took a deep breath and said, “Rudy told me about the glitch.” He saw him straighten his back a bit, but pretended not to notice, “He also said to wait before talk to you about it, but you know I don’t like to wait, and I sure don’t like secrets.” 

“I am sorry. I wanted to ask Rudy first… I was going to tell you about it.” 

“Then tell me about it now.” 

“He deleted the imagines again. It should be alright now.” 

John nodded slowly, "You wanted to keep it, isn't it?" and watching him look down was enough as an answer, "Listen, I know you're curious, but if Rudy says that it's better to ignore it, maybe he's right." 

"It's just… I know there could be more..." 

"Maybe not good things." 

"Why you say that?" 

"You were the one saying that it could be a problem… and that you didn't like to remember things." 

"I don't like when it lead to sad feelings. That memory wasn’t sad. It was… warm." 

_Maybe it would be different if the DRN could’ve been able to feel love as well_

John dropped the jacket. 

Dorian recover it from the concrete, "You’re sure to be alright?" he asked, giving it back to him. 

"Yeah..." He took it and wore it without looking at him. “So you think that it was actually a memory?” 

Dorian tried to say something, stopped and tried again, “I know it’s impossible, but that’s how I feel about it. I could be wrong, but… glitch or memory, it was something real.” 

“Rudy thought about it the first time. That that could be, well, more than a glitch. He was just worried to tell you.” 

Dorian took a deep breath, “I understand his decision. Maybe I should talk about it with him next time.”

“Maybe, yeah.” 

Dorian was still staring at him, now a bit worried himself, "John, if there is something you want to ask…" 

"Uh? No. Why, what should I ask?" 

"I know the situation is not getting easier. Rudy told me that he explained to you most of it, but if you still have some doubts…" 

"He said that you're fine, so we are. Are we?" 

Dorian didn't said anything else, face blank, then some blue streaks appeared around his eyes, "There's a call. Captain Maldonado wants us on a homicide scene." He said with a resigned voice.

"Alright. Let's go then." He said, jumping back into the car, pretending not to be happy for the interruption. 

 

"Teresa Wade, thirty-five years old, moved in this building four years ago." Dorian gave away the info while crouching next to the body sprawled on the concrete. He looked up at the big, cream- colored building, "She fell from a window on the sixth floor. Apartment 33. Her house." 

John was watching up too, two agents were at the said window, searching for evidence, then looked back down at the woman, "Why they call it homicide already?" 

"The neighbors heard her and another woman screaming inside the apartment," Dorian stood up, "before a window crashed and then… here she was." he sighed, pointing his look at the corpse. "No drugs in her blood, she wasn't drunk either. No signs of a fight, aside from the ones from the fall." 

John sighed, "'Guess we have another woman to find, then. Come on." He moved to the entrance and together they reached the apartment 33: was a nice place, many books into the shelves, colorful paintings on the walls, a big kitchen in perfect order, aside two teacups on the little isle: one flipped, the liquid still dripping on the floor. The Detective watched his partner start to examine it, so he moved to the bedroom, where the crashed window was. In the corridor, he stared for a moment at lots of random photographs attached around a circular mirror on the wall: there were photos of people, flowers, places…

"Detective." One of the agents called for him. 

He looked away and returned the nod, moving forward “Found anything?” 

“Doesn’t seem that there was a fight in here…” the agent said, looking around in the relatively ordered room, “Aside from the traces in the living room, looks like the murderer pushed her out the window while she was distracted, maybe watching outside." He sighed, looking down in the street below for a moment.

"Mind if we take a look?" 

“It’s all yours.” The agent waved an arm as an invitation, moving aside to let him take his place. 

John felt the wind against his face before look down, the woman's body covered with a white sheet now. He looked around at the other buildings, fixing his eyes on a window open in the one in front of them, where someone was looking back at him… a woman. He squirted his eyes, "Hey Dorian…" he called back inside, without looking away from the figure, too far to see her face. 

"I didn’t found anything weird in the house," Said Dorian, coming into the room, "but there was a laptop, maybe I can-" he blinked at the sudden, distant sound of a gunshot and saw his partner fall back inside, hitting hard against the bed behind him.

"Someone is shooting!” 

“Stay down! Call the medics!" all the other agents were suddenly screaming. 

"John- John!" Dorian was quickly down next to him, checking his status. 

"I'm fine." He said, breathing fast, looking at himself, then outside, "Building on the front- woman at the window. Fifth or sixth floor." 

Dorian followed his gaze, scanning the buildings staying in front of him, but found no one, "She's gone." 

"Damn it…" 

"You’re alright Detective?" asked the same agent of before, "Medic is coming." 

"I don't need it," John said, trying to sit up. 

"I heard a gunshot," Dorian said, still scanning him. 

"Me too, but…" He patted his chest, "I guess she missed me." He breathed out nervously. 

"I'll send a group in the other building." The agent said. 

"Close the area. Don’t let her escape." John said and the man nodded, running away. He took a quick, deep breath, "Ouch… sure my back hurts." He said, moving to stand up. 

Dorian sighed, shaking his head, "So you just jumped back like a rabbit for nothing?" 

"I’m the human here, don’t judge." He snorted, passing a hand over his cheek. "Close calls are better than a bullet in my head-" once on his feet, he promptly fell against the android, completely off balance, "What the-" 

Dorian was scanning him again, keeping him into his arm before helping him to stand, both keeping a hand on each other shoulder. "Are you sure she missed?"

John checked his trousers and found a hole in one of his legs, a bit above the knee. In his robotic leg. "Son of a-" 

"Let me see it." 

"No, I'll need Rudy to-" 

"Maybe I can fix it for now-" Dorian tried to move to check his leg, but felt the Detective’s grasp tighten on the collar of his jacket to stop him. 

"I said no." John's voice was nervous now. He saw the android staring in silence, so he tried to calm down, "I just… Rudy will fix it." He added, letting him go. He tested the leg again, but it was like have a useless, damn heavy piece of metal attached to his body. 

"Can I help you to the car at least or you want to keep improving your personal rabbit style?" Dorian commented patiently. 

"Don't tempt me." John sighed, accepting to place one arm over his shoulders and leave the apartment. 

 

"What have you done this time?" Rudy sighed, staring at both of them coming into the lab, the Detective still walking with the android's support. 

"Shot in the leg. My bad." John deadpanned. 

"Oh… sorry to hear it… and sorry for the leg." Rudy moved away from the chair, staring down at the synthetic leg, then back at them, "You two alright?" 

"Yeah, someone was just angry to see us on her crime scene." John nodded, leaving Dorian’s shoulder. 

Rudy nodded, smiling a bit at Dorian, then looked at the detective and snapped out of it, "Of course. Let me- I ‘ll check it." 

Dorian looked the man hopping in the other room and asked, "You need some help?" 

"Back off." Was the dry answer from the Detective that made the android smile wryly. 

Rudy sighed, "You guys saw who shot then? A woman?" 

"John said it was a woman." Dorian nodded, "But it’s too soon to say if she was connected to the homicide or not. Or if she’s who actually shot him." 

Rudy crossed his arms, "That sound bad…" 

"Not as bad as a bullet in my leg." Snorted John, hopping back there in his black boxer under the black sweater, "Synthetic or not, it's damn itchy now." 

"Be glad that it wasn't your human leg." Dorian commented and the other just huffed, sitting on the table to stay higher under the doctor's focused look, keeping his trouser in hand. 

The hole was almost on the side of the leg, making it’s weak light flash on and off as if it was almost out of energy. 

"Probably the bullet damaged the principal connection…" murmured Rudy, passing a hand over the gunshot hole, "Doesn't hurt? At all?" he asked and saw him shook his head, "That's good. It means that only the synthetic leg got damaged from the shot. I fear you'll have to remove it for me, John." 

He sighed but started to disconnect it and he flinched a bit, hands stopping. 

Both Dorian and Rudy looked up at him, "What's wrong?" asked the doctor. 

"Just a shiver." He said, hiding his surprise because that never happened before. He tried again: usually, it took two clicks to remove it, now he couldn’t even reach the first one because of another shiver. 

"Want me to try?" Asked Rudy. 

John nodded, unsure, letting him turn the leg a little but at the first click, the shiver became a flash of pain, "UH- God-" 

"What?" 

"Put it in place- Rudy put it back in place!" John wasn’t ready for such a sudden pain and it seemed to just grow and grow way too quickly. 

"I'm trying- let me..." 

John grabbed hard on the metal table, keeping down a scream and then the pain was gone. He blinked fast, trying to breathe, and found Dorian's hand on the synthetic leg, his face covered in blue streaks. He stared at the android focused on the leg, then looked down at it, and then at Rudy, "What the hell was that?" 

"I think… I think the leg it’s more damaged than I thought." Rudy said. 

"Some of the leg's connections aren't correctly linked to the nerves." Said Dorian, looking at the doctor. 

"Can't you just put it back in place?" John asked, still shaking a bit, "Didn't hurt that much before." 

"Sorry, I should've been more careful." Rudy sighed, "I'll try." Slowly, he turned the leg backward and it clicked in place again. 

John kept down a groan, grabbing Dorian's shoulder just because it was there, staring down. 

"Let him go." Said Rudy to the android, "Let's see if it's better now." 

Dorian moved his hand away, still scanning his partner. 

John made a face, then took a deep breath, "It hurts, but less than before… God, that was terrible." He sighed letting him go. 

"I guess I'll have to do some scan of it and work on it while you’ll keep it on." Said Rudy, "Sorry." 

John shook his head, "Just fix this stupid thing faster than you can." 

"Let me take the equipment." 

John took another deep breath and looked at the android, "What did you do before? To stop the pain?" 

"I tried to overwrite the connections. I was trying to turn it off, but I wasn't sure that was for the better. It could cause you more pain." 

He nodded slowly, "Thanks." 

Dorian smiled a bit, "You're welcome." 

 

John had to stay in the lab for the rest of the day, that he wanted or not because, first of all, he would never let detective Paul see him walking in the office with a crutch; second of all, the pain was still present and he sure couldn't work in that conditions, unless he wanted to end up in a fight with half of the office. Third, once known about what happened, Captain Maldonado herself called and ordered him to stay there and wait until his leg was perfectly fine before show up again. Teresa Wade’s case was in Detective Stahl's hands for now. 

So he gave up. After sent Dorian to retrieve a more comfortable sports suit of the Police Department, John wore the hoodie and the sweatpants, easier to pull up over the synthetic leg still attached to him, flashing on and off, the charge almost at the limit. 

John was laying on a long chair, pain hitting him in light but persistent waves, and when he opened his eyes, he saw Dorian staring down at him, "What? You called me?"

"A couple of times." 

He took a deep breath, "Any news about the homicide?" 

"No. Detective Stahl haven't found anything yet. The agent that was searching for the woman that shot you called, though, saying that they didn't found her, but the apartment where you saw her was open and also abandoned for some months, it seems." 

John sighed, head falling against the chair again, "Alright… looks like we'll have to catch up when we're done here. Rudy's still in there?" 

Dorian looked in the other room and nodded, "He said your emergency leg is ready, but he's checking your scan a third time, to remove this one without causing you any pain." 

"There's always pain…" and just to prove that he made a face again, clenching his fists, "Those painkillers were useless, honestly. You sure they weren't expired?" 

"They aren’t." 

John looked away, letting a shuttering breath out. He jumped a bit feeling a hand on the synthetic leg, but couldn't keep down a sigh of relief, staring at Dorian's hand and face decorated with blue lines again, "You don't have to…" 

"You're in pain since this morning. Let me help." He said calmly, sitting on the chair next to him, eyes closed. 

Slowly, John relaxed, feeling almost dizzy from the absence of the pain after all those hours. He took some deep breaths and stared at the android: a year ago, he would kick him away, but now… now having Dorian close, always hovering around, was almost natural. There still was a bit of awkwardness, but mostly because John wasn't used to be close to someone anymore. 

"Your heartbeat is increasing," Dorian said calmly, eyes still closed. 

"It’s normal." 

"You sure?" 

"Y-yeah." 

Dorian opened them and looked at him, "Pain can drive a person crazy?" 

John blinked, trying to connect to the present and to the half of the question he managed to hear, "What?" 

"Being in constant pain can drive someone crazy?" 

John elaborated the question for a moment, "Well, it depends… from how much pain a person can take, and how strong the pain is." 

"How strong has to be?" 

"There are different kinds of pain, physical and… not physical. I honestly don't know what's the most painful thing in the world, but… it's probably different for any person. Take Rudy, for example: hit him with a stick and he will cry like a girl. Other people need more than that." 

"Or you just need to say the right thing to break someone…" Dorian mumbled. 

"That's another way." He said slowly, carefully, "What’s this interest about pain?" 

Dorian blinked, looking back at him like waking up, "I never felt it." He simply said. 

"And you would like to?" he asked, kind of surprised.

The android thought for a second, "I know is not a good thing." 

"But you're curious." 

"I know I shouldn't be. And I know purposely cause pain to someone without reason is always wrong." 

"Just another DRN's curiosity?" he huffed a laugh when the android looked down, ashamed. John closed his tired eyes just for a moment… but after that, someone was calling for him again. 

"John? You're awake?" Asked Rudy, studying him with a worried look. 

“I was sleeping?" he asked back. 

"You fell asleep one hour ago." Dorian said, still sat next to him, hand on his synthetic leg. 

"Right… sorry ‘bout that…" 

"It's ok, I just finished with the tests, anyway." Rudy said, "The good news is that I can fix your leg if you don't want to wait some days for a new one…" 

"I don't." 

Rudy nodded patiently, "The bad news is that I can’t remove the bullet and fix the leg if you keep it on. It would be too risky for your leg- for the rest of your leg."

"There’s a risk to damage your nerves more than they already are," Dorian added. 

John looked at him, then at the doctor, "But you said that it would be dangerous try to remove it…" 

"With Dorian's help we should make it, but it will still hurt… a lot. So…" 

"You want my permission to put me to sleep during the operation," John said, voice tired and empty. 

"It would be better, yes. For everyone." Rudy nodded again. "It will be only the three of us here. And I’m _also_ a doctor... a good one, being honest. And Dorian is- well, he's Dorian, so there shouldn't be any problem. It’s just to spare you more pain." 

"I can take it." 

"John, you're exhausted." Dorian said calmly, "Take the opportunity to rest. There's no need to feel any more pain, or force yourself to faint because of it." 

The detective sighed, closing his eyes, "Alright.” John said in the end. He watched him preparing the syringe and then the needle that disappeared into his arm. "How long it will take to work?" 

"Just some seconds. We'll start right away." Rudy nodded at Dorian before walking away. 

John slowly turned his head to the DRN, "You can let me go now…" he said sleepily, but if Dorian said something, he couldn't hear it, feeling his hand still on the leg when he fell asleep. 

 

When John emerged from the mist of the anesthetic, he could feel only his head a bit too heavy. Blinking in the dim light, he tried to move, but managed only to turn his head: Dorian wasn't there anymore, there was Rudy, instead, sleeping on the chair. 

John moved a bit his arm and poked him lightly, watching him flinch awake. 

"John… hey." The Doctor passed a hand over his eyes, checking on him right away, "You're ok? How're you feeling?" 

"Starving." 

"That's good." 

"My leg…?" 

"All done." Rudy said, looking down. 

John followed his gaze, watching his synthetic leg into the charger, on a table. "It works?" 

"Yes. We tried it on you and it seems to work. Dorian haven’t spotted any errors in the system, so it should be fine." 

"Where is he?" 

"Charging as well." He pointed to his right, the DRN standing in his cabin, eyes closed, "He helped a lot… and he wanted to keep an eye on you, but… he needed to charge." 

John stared at the DRN on the other side of the room. After a deep breath, he looked back at Rudy, "He's still making questions… about human's feelings." He said, noticing the worried look that appeared on the doctor's face, "He didn't do anything, just asking, but... he knows that the glitch isn’t just a glitch.” 

“I know. He talked to me about it while you were asleep.” 

John sighed, “Rudy, it's… it’s Dorian. I don't know how much worried I should be. _If_ I should be." 

Rudy stared at the DRN for a moment, then shook his head, looking back at him, "Me either." 

"We have to talk with him about this. At least I have to try… I don't know how to feel about his questions..." He blinked slowly, looking at the clock, "Not tonight, though. Tomorrow… we'll figure something out tomorrow…" 

Rudy nodded lightly, "I hope so." he said, but John was already asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The morning after, John woke up in a strange but welcome feeling of peace. No pain and, most of all, finally able to move both of his legs. 

Blinking a couple of time, he pushed himself up on his elbows and stared at the synthetic leg attached to him. He flinched at the hand that placed on his shoulder, turning to his left just in time to see a little smile fading from Dorian’s face. “You scared me.” He said a bit too urgently, trying to hide it with a snort. 

“Sorry. How you’re feeling?” 

“Better. Almost good, actually.” John slowly caressed his synthetic leg. The bullet hole was gone. 

“Rudy had to leave this morning. An emergency about some MX to fix.” Dorian explained. 

John sighed, _Nice escape, Doctor Lom_. 

“He also told me to ask you if he needs to order a new synthetic leg for you.” 

“Why? This one is fixed now.” 

“There could be still some problem with the connections. Rudy is not completely sure about it, so he would like to order a new one, just in case.” 

“No… If I’ll see any problems, then I’ll tell him.” He moved down from the little bed, frowning, looking at the long chair close by. 

“Rudy was awake early this morning, he asked me to move you here,” Dorian explained. 

“Any place is good as any if I’m tired enough.” John passed both hands over his face, looking down at his clothes, “And I think it’s time to suit up.” He looked around, finding his dark trousers and sweater on a chair, “Any news from Detective Stahl?” 

“Nothing so far. I’ll try again.” 

Removing the police hoodie, John looked back at him, at the blue lines running over his face while checking for information. When he stopped and looked back at him, frowning, John turned around to finish dressing. 

“Something wrong?” Dorian asked, “Your leg?” 

“No, that’s fine.” He said, feeling much better in his own clothes, then wore the straps around his torso and put the gun into the holster under his arm, “Can’t wait to be back home and took a shower, though.” He added, grabbing his jacket before walking to the exit and Dorian followed in silence. 

Once in the office, John looked around but couldn’t find Valerie nor Paul. Only the cold glare of Captain Maldonado intently focused on him. 

“Why you’re here?” asked the Captain, reaching his desk. 

“I’m fine, thanks for asking.” He said innocently and she just stared at him, at Dorian and then back at him that added, “I didn’t get shot, not in my human parts, so it’s ok. Any news about Tamara Wade?” 

“No. Detective Stahl is on that case- and no, she can handle it by herself for now.” 

“I can help.” 

“I know you can, but I want you to wait.” 

“Wait for what?” 

“For Rudy’s report that will assure me that you’re alright.” And this time was his turn to stare tiredly at her, “I’m letting you stay in the office John, don’t test your luck.” She added, walking away. 

John sighed, tapping his fingers on the desk, “Hey Dorian... can you find some records from around the building where we were yesterday?” 

“Are you trying to investigate on your own?” 

“We. _We_ are trying. We’re a team.” 

“Sure. Now we are a team…” He sighed. 

John grinned and looked at him, but there was no need to ask twice: the blue lines on his face were the sign that he was already into the research. 

“There are two cameras that recorded her death.” Dorian bent forward, almost above him, to connect the records to the screen on the desk, and saw him flinch slightly, “Are you sure you’re alright?” 

“Yes. What we got?” 

He stared at him for another second, then stood straight again, and both of them watched the two little window appearing: one camera was on the front of Tamara’s building, the other was at the end of the street, the building was on the right. Everything was normal until was possible hear a crash and then the body hit the concrete with a terrible sound, followed by pieces of glass. 

John sighed, “Anything weird in that area before the fall?” 

Dorian sent back the videos, searching for any strange activity, but there were no people running away, no one entering or leaving the building. “If someone pushed her down, probably escaped from another entrance.” 

“Check some other angles, maybe-“ 

“Done and done.” Valerie Stahl appeared next to them, making both of them look up, one smiling a “Good morning”, the other one with a guilty expression on his face. “I checked all the cameras around the building already, nothing weird. No one escaping or cars suddenly leaving the place. Not even after you got shot.”

“Sorry Val, I was just-“ 

“I know this case is yours, don’t worry.” Valerie nodded, “I was just helping while you were recovering. I’ll send all the data to Dorian.” 

“Thanks. A bullet in the leg makes it kind of personal.” 

She nodded a smile, “Let me know if you need something.” 

“Well…” 

“About the case.” She added with a soft laugh, moving to her desk. 

With still a little smile on his face, John looked at the DRN that was staring blankly at him, “Shut up.” He said, going back to work. 

“I didn’t say anything.” 

“In your case, that’s even worst.” 

Dorian sighed patiently, “The information arrived. You want me to tell you about them or you want to keep failing to impress Detective Stahl?”

“Listen here, you’re-“ John looked at him and stopped: Dorian was frowning a bit, squinting his eyes while red lines were running over the sides of his face, “What?” 

“I think someone is trying to hack the station.” He said closing his eyes, and in the same moment most of the screens in the office went black and then windows and beeps of alarm were everywhere. 

John stood up, looking at him then at the Captain. 

“Who’s trying to hack us?” Yelled Captain Maldonado to all the office. 

“We’re checking right now.” Said one of the men, busy at the computers still working. 

The lights went off, then on and then some of them exploded. 

Looking at his computer, John blinked once before Dorian jumped forward, protecting him from the glass when the screen exploded. 

John looked at him, eyes open but not really focused on the moment, expression still unsure, “What’s wrong?” 

“I don’t know… they- they’re trying to hack me too.” He said, his movements a bit jammed for a moment and the grasp he was still having on the detective’s shoulder tightened. 

“Ok- ow- Dorian, you’re gonna break my _ow_!” John tried to free himself, but could just grab his arm and wait. “Dorian, come on- hey.” He grabbed his jacket but for a long moment, the pain didn’t lessen. 

At some point, all the screens got back on, the ones that not exploded at least, same for the lights. All the people in the floor stopped for a moment, looking around. 

“The system stopped the attack,” Valerie said, looking at the Captain. 

She nodded, “Good. Now give me some names so I’ll know who’s going to pay for this mess.” She snorted, looking resigned at the office. 

John was still in the android’s grasp and his shoulder was really going to hurt later. “Dorian?” he hissed again and took a deep breath to contain a moan of pain. 

Suddenly, Dorian blinked once, then again and finally looked at him, for a moment with a blank face, then he frowned, “John… you alright?”

“Yeah, but now let me go.” He said, probably angrier that he intended, because Dorian obeyed right away, a guilty look already on his face. 

“Everything’s alright?” asked the Captain, coming closer. 

“Yeah.” John cut short, “Hacking the Police Station? Really?” 

“Not the first time, sure won’t be the last.” She sighed. 

“They didn’t choose a very nice way this time, for sure.” Valerie commented, “Dorian need to be checked up?” 

Both, the DRN and the Detective looked at her. 

“For his back.” She said, pointing at it, “He covered you from the explosion.” 

“Right…” John nodded, trying to ignore the slow growing pain on his shoulder. 

 

Once back in Rudy’s lab, waiting for the man to come back, the atmosphere was even tenser than before. 

John was sitting on the table again, eyes closed, a hand over the pained shoulder, trying not to order Dorian to wait there and leave the lab alone. He couldn’t. The situation was already a mess like this. 

He took a deep breath and looked at the android: Dorian was immobile at the end of the table, eyes glued on the floor, some blue lines waving on his face. After another breath, John asked, “You ok there?” 

The lines disappeared and he turned to look at him. “Yes. You?” and seeing the other huff an ironic smile, he added, “John, I am sorry…what can I do to help?” 

“Nothing. I’m fine.” 

Dorian sighed, then looked around and walked away. When he came back, he handed a little pack of ice to him. 

John nodded thanks and took it, placing it on his shoulder. “There’s one thing you could do for me, actually.” 

“Anything.” 

John looked at him with a serious expression, “What happened during the hack? What kind of hack could do something like that to you?” 

“I don’t know. It never happened before. Usually, no one can override my walls.” 

“You looked like… stuck.” 

“I was.” Dorian looked at the ice, then back at him, “I’m sorry if I scared you.” 

“You didn’t scared me, you just-“ _hurt me_. John stopped in time before say that aloud. 

Dorian looked down, “I am sorry.” 

John sighed, “I’m used to worst, don’t worry.” And moved to the little bathroom, watching his own reflection in the mirror, “But if strange things like these won’t stop happening, we’re gonna have some… trouble.” He lowered his voice to hide a hiss of pain when moving away the shirt a bit, he saw the bruise on the shoulder… the dark shadow of Dorian’s hand. _We had to start worry yesterday_ , he thought sadly, _but I still don’t know about what exactly._

“I did that?” 

John jumped a bit, looking at the door and the DRN was staring at the bruise, frowning. He quickly covered it again, “Flash new for you: humans tends to get hurt easier than androids.” He tried to keep it cool. He had to, or- 

“Turn me off.” 

“What?” 

“Turn me off until Rudy will be back.” Dorian explained, “Who hacked me could try again. I’m not completely sure I won’t hurt you or someone else.” 

“Come on…” 

“You’re not safe with me right now.” He said, and his voice was angry, but mostly to himself, “I’ll stay offline until the situation will be clear.” He added, and moved to the table, laying down on it. 

John moved next to him, “You’re sure about this?” 

“Yes. I don’t want to hurt you again.” He nodded, “Give me that wire.” 

John obeyed and watched him connecting himself to it. 

“Press the blue button over there. Tell Rudy what happened. Everything.” 

The detective nodded slowly and pushed the button. He looked at the android in time to see him smile a tense smile before closing his eyes and stay still on the table. “Damn it, Dorian…” he murmured sitting down on a chair, passing a hand over his face. 

 

When Dorian come back online, he wasn’t in the lab anymore. He blinked, scanning the house… John Kennex’s house, 7 PM. He frowned and looked better around before disconnecting himself from the charger: he was sitting on a chair, not the table he remembered laying on. After a moment, he stood and found vital signs outside, on the big balcony: walking there, he saw the Detective staring at the city with a beer bottle in hand. “John.” 

He looked up, “Hey. Welcome back.” 

“What happened? Why I am here?” millions of terrible explanations were coming to his mind, “Rudy couldn’t fix me? Captain Maldonado saw what I did? I’ll be deactivated?” 

“Woah, slow down man, what’s with the sudden interrogation?” John huffed a laugh, sitting better. 

“I can’t find any other reasonable explanation for me being in your house.” 

“My generosity isn’t a reasonable explanation?” he asked and the blank expression he got in response speak for itself. “Apparently not. Thanks for that.” 

“Tell me what happened.” 

“I told Rudy about the attack and what happened to you. He patched you up and put more walls to protect your system. You should be fine now.” 

“Then why I’m here?” 

“Because the Captain is a damn good cop…” he sighed, taking a sip, then continued patiently, “She knew something was off, so she came in the lab and saw you offline and Rudy checking my shoulder… she quickly made the connection.” 

Dorian nodded. Hurt someone means the immediate decommission for an android. If that said android is _also_ an old DRN and a cop that hurt his partner, that’s even worse. 

“I explained that you were having a problem because of the hacker, we just needed to fix that.” 

“I understand. This is my last night before being deactivated.”

“Yeah… wait, what?” 

“What I did leave you and the Captain with no other option.” 

“Did you heard a word of what I just said?” snorted the other, thumping the bottle on the little table next to him. 

“Yes. I hurt you, the Captain knows, so I can’t continue my job anymore. Its-“ 

“It’s all in your stupid, synthetic head.” John interrupted, “I told her that _you were having a problem because of the hacker_. Rudy fixed you, so it’s alright now. The Captain just didn’t wanted to leave you in the lab, and I told her that leave you with the MXs wasn’t safe either. She let me take you here so there would be only one person to blame if something else will happen.” 

Dorian stared at him for a moment, “Basically she trust you, but if you’re wrong, you’ll be the only one paying for it?” 

John stopped the bottle close to his lips, “It sound kind of evil if you put it that way...” 

“John, you know how dangerous could be keep me here?” 

“You’re fine now, I told you.” 

“I could still hurt you!” 

“How? The hacker hasn't attacked again- he probably doesn't even know where you are… and why he should be interested in you specifically? Come on…” 

Dorian tightened his fist, looked away and then sit down on another chair, almost in front of the detective. 

John waited a moment, looking at him: it was weird, but he looked even more human than usual in that moment. “Dorian, what’s the problem?” 

“Me. The problem is me, and you’re just trying to ignore it.” He answered with a tense voice.

The Detective couldn’t respond to that. Not fast as he would like to. 

“And now this… you shouldn’t have brought me here.”

“I already told you that Rudy fixed you, and,” he added, preventing him to interrupt, “if you’re talking about the memory again, he fixed that too.” 

“He can’t be sure.” 

“Well, you can’t be sure about me not shooting you in the face one day either. We’ll try to deal with it.” 

“So you’re just dealing with it?” 

“Yes.” 

Dorian looked stubbornly at him and grabbed his arm, making him flinch back, “You think I didn’t notice? We know each other since almost two years by now, John. If you never showed any nervousness close to me in the last year, you’re showing it again now. I know you have all the reasons for it, but…” 

“This is- it’s not fear, damn it, Dorian, you’re just-“ 

“What?” he didn’t let him go. 

“I’m not scared of you.”

“Looks like you are.” 

“Because I’m worried about you!” John said in exasperation, “You think I want to see you being deactivated or left in a plastic bag somewhere? I don’t fear for my life, I’m worried sick about yours because we both know you shouldn’t have any weird memories in your head.” He took a deep breath, “I’m trying to ignore them, ok, because that’s all I can do- because I have no idea how I can help you…” he trailed off when Dorian’s grip lessened and slowly moved to grab his wrist. He felt the different touch, and looking at him, he saw how much affection an android could show on his face. John wasn’t sure if that was normal with other bots but… It was overwhelming. 

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this.” Dorian said in a low, sad voice, but his eyes were still full of care for his partner. 

John sighed, awkwardly placing a hand on his, “I am sure Rudy can fix you. We’ll find a way, we-“ 

“No, he can’t.” Dorian let him go, looking sadly at him, but there was also determination now. “I don’t want to lie to you, John.” Watching him frown, he added, “If I’ll show you something, can you promise me that you’ll be honest with me about it?” 

“I’ll try.” 

Dorian took a deep breath, “Then we need to go back inside.” 

 

They moved into the living room, and John watched him working with the television, checking something, making his blue lines visible again. 

After a moment, Dorian turned to look at him, “You ready?” 

“Do I need popcorn?” 

“No… not this time.” 

John swallowed hard, sitting down on the sofa while the television switched to life, and the first imagine was like a punch in the stomach: that was the memory Rudy deleted. Twice, by now. The little kid with the train toy. He looked back at the android. 

“I don’t have any copy of it.” He said before the Detective could ask, “It just keep appearing in my system. I don’t know how or where the point of origin is, but it’s there... just like a human memory.” 

John took a deep breath again, “If there’s more, I’m not sure to be ready for it anymore.” 

Dorian looked at the TV and his face flashed of blue streaks again: he was sending the imagines from his memory to the television. “I hope you are.”

John looked at the black screen that suddenly was showing another place, like a big garden, maybe a park. The visual was in first person, shifting from a side to another, from trees to a big house in the distance, on the right. Then someone appeared against the sun, just the dark shadow of a woman, and then the TV went black again. 

The Detective blinked, staring at the screen for another moment, then at the DRN that was waiting for a reaction. “That’s…” he stopped, then tried again, “That was another memory?” 

“I got it during the hack, today.” Dorian nodded slowly, voice low. “That’s why I couldn’t stop from hurting you. I was watching this and… it was unexpected.” 

“I can imagine.” John said. He stood up, walking behind the sofa, then right to left, into the kitchen. Before going insane, he felt a hand on his back, stopping his pacing, and he looked at the DRN. 

“If you want to warn Rudy or the Captain, I’ll understand, but I need to know what these memories are. Why I have them and how.” Dorian was pleading with his eyes, “Let me try to understand them. If that will be dangerous for someone, I’ll accept to be deactivated but, John… I need to know the truth.” 

John stared at him in silence, because if Dorian was ready to face that risk, he wasn’t. 

 

John asked the rest of the day to think about what to do next. 

Dorian told him that he was free to report about his strange behavior; he could understand that what he asked the Detective was far beyond the line, but he needed just some more time. After that, for him was fine to be decommissioned or deactivated completely, if that meant to know the truth about those memories. 

On his part, John was cursing about how well Dorian knew him. Of course he was ready to help him understand what was going on, and of course he still wasn’t worried about himself, but more about what could’ve happened to the DRN once discovered whatever that truth could be.

Would Dorian keep having those blackouts? More memories would be dangerous for him? The truth would drive him crazy like the other DRNs or something even worse? 

John stopped outside the Chinese restaurant and took a deep breath, staring at the city’s lights in the windy night. The air was cold, but kind of nice leaving the hot and smoky shop where the Detective took his late dinner. He had walked around the city for almost an hour after leaving the apartment, and Dorian in it. He couldn’t escape anymore… time to go back home and face the situation. 

Walking up the stairs, John stopped in front of the door when he heard more voices inside. Entering, he saw Dorian and Rudy in the kitchen, both turning to look at him. “Party time?” 

Dorian shook his head, looking at Rudy that just sighed, “I don’t think so, no.” he said. 

“You called him?” John asked the DRN, leaving the food in the kitchen. 

“I trust him, and his judgment.” Dorian nodded.

“I would prefer not to judge anyone…” the doctor commented nervously. 

“At least one of us have to.” John said, “Dorian told you what happened?” 

“Yes. He told me about the new memory and… and how he’s feeling about this.” 

“And what do you think?” 

Rudy looked at him as if he just punched him in the stomach. 

“Rudy, you can be honest. Don’t worry.” Dorian came to his help. 

“I… well, usually I would love to put my nose in this kind of things, but…” he looked at the DRN, “I told you that this is really a big, gigantic risk,” he turned to John, “and we don’t know anything about those memories yet, it could be anything- they could mean anything… and they are strong enough to block your system, so…” He said to the android again, and he could only lower his gaze at that. “I’m not saying that it’s wrong that you want to know more about it, I am just saying that it could be dangerous. Really dangerous, and not just for the risk of being deactivated.” He didn’t say anything about going crazy, but was pretty clear that all of them were thinking about it. 

“I know, that’s why I told you everything.” Dorian said, “And I’ll keep doing it, so if something will start to go wrong, you’ll be able to stop me.” 

“Stop you how?” John frowned. 

“Oh God…” Rudy looked away and nervously moved into the living room. 

John watched him, and then asked the DRN, “You’re giving him the permission to put you down?” 

“Just in case.” 

“You could’ve warned me about this.” 

“You always had that permission as well, John, since you woke me up.” Dorian said with a serious face, but he sighed patiently at his unsure expression, “I’m an old DRN model. Everyone knows what that means.” 

“That’s-“ 

“That makes me a type of android that was retired from specific works for a reason.” 

“If you know everything so well, then why bother to ask our permission? You could just investigate about the memories on your own.” He said, angry now. 

“I told you already, I don’t want to lie to you. You’re my partner and I trust you.” 

“Then I can say that no, I don’t want you to do anything about it? That would be fine to you?” 

Dorian stubbornly stared into his green eyes, “If that’s what you want me to do, I will. But if these memories will still be there, keep appearing every time, I don’t think I’ll be able to ignore them forever. And that could influence negatively my work as your partner.” 

John couldn’t believe it, “So you’re saying that would be better being deactivated knowing the truth, than just being decommissioned after going insane looking for it?” and yes, those words weren’t nice, but he was angry now, enough to not stop at the hurt face Dorian made, but he didn’t answered and looked down. “You- Dorian, you don’t even know what the truth could be. What if there’s no meaning behind those memories? What if they’re just there for no reason?” 

“There is a reason.” 

“You don’t know that.” 

“Neither do you.” 

John stared at his serious glare, stubborn as usual, but this time there was something more. He shook his head and moved to reach Rudy in the living room without saying anything else. He stopped in front of him, looking at the android staying in the kitchen, behind the doctor, “Tell me this is not crazy as it looks.” He murmured with a sigh. 

“Maybe _crazy_ is not the word I would use right now.” Rudy said, looking at him more seriously now, “He wants to know what those memories are, why they are there… and Dorian is not stupid, he knows that that is not his past. It can’t be his past… he don’t have one.” Rudy’s shoulders dropped sadly. He thought for a moment, “DRNs really are different.” 

“Doesn’t look like a good thing at the moment, if you ask me.” 

“If he wasn’t like this, you would’ve already made a report to have him decommissioned.”

They stared at each other until John shrugged nervously and then asked, “So you’re with him in this?” 

“I don’t think we have much of a choice. If the memories will come back every time…” 

“You could just delete them again.” 

“Sure, until Dorian will be tired of it and put himself in some problematic situation on his own.” Rudy shook his head, “I know it’s not going to be easy, but we- I think we need to know more about the memories and try to fix him… before someone else will.” He waited for a reaction, but John stayed silent, looking down, so he turned to Dorian that was motionless on his place like a statue, “I think we reached a compromise.” 

Dorian nodded once, ready for everything. 

“We’ll try to know something more about those two memories, I’ll try some test and… we’ll see,” Rudy said moving closer to him again, “but from now on, I’ll check your system every morning. No more secrets between us.” 

“Of course.” 

“The bad part of the conditions is that at the first sign that something strange is going on, we’ll stop the research and I’ll delete the memories again, and you have to promise me- to us, that you won’t investigate about them any further.” 

Dorian considered that. He looked at John but the Detective was still in the living room, looking the other way. 

“John is just worried,” Rudy said, “we both are. He understands that this is important for you but- we really don’t want you to be deactivated if we can avoid it, so we want you to promise.” 

Dorian looked back at him and slowly nodded again, “I promise. But you’ll have to keep your promise too.” 

Rudy sighed in pain, but nodded as well, “I’ll stop you if things will get out of control.” 

“Thanks, Rudy.” 

“Don’t thank me… I really don’t like this plan. It’s- it’s too dangerous… for all of us.” He took a deep breath, “I’ll go back to the lab and start to examine the memor- uh, better if we call them files from now on... especially in public. I’ll keep you guys updated.” He smiled nervously at the android and then at John when he walked in front of him and the Detective followed him to the door. Wearing his long brown jacket, Rudy stopped outside the door to look at him, “Don’t shot him yet, alright?” 

“He’s ready to be deactivated, anyway.” John said coldly, and saw the patient glare on the doctor’s face, “I don’t like it, ok? I have a bad feeling about all this and most of the time my sense for bad things is right.” 

“Well, there’s only one way to find out… and I mean it. I think the only way to get out of this is trying to uncover the mystery behind the memories.” 

John took a deep breath, “Anyway, thanks for the help. I know you’re risking a lot too.” 

“Oh, I’ll be alright. Researching through android’s memories that shouldn’t even be there…or exist at all, for the matter.” He smiled nervously, “I’ll wait for you two tomorrow morning.” 

John watched him leave before walking back inside. 

Dorian was in the kitchen where they left him. He looked up with a sorry face, “John-“ 

“Don’t.” He stopped him, “Don’t say you’re sorry, don’t say thanks and you better not say that we’re still in time to stop this madness and just turn you off.” That said, he passed a hand over his face and shook his head. Looking at the android again, he saw him standing there in silence. “Really? You don’t have anything else to say aside from all that?” 

“Maybe that I’m worried as much as you are.” 

“Doesn’t look like you’re afraid to die for the cause.” 

“You really think that I want to be deactivated?” Dorian said with a nervous frown. 

“You tell me.” John’s anger slipped in his tone and was too late to stop it. 

They looked at each other for a moment, then Dorian said more calmly, “Look, I know that you’re worried about me-“ 

“It’s not about being worried, this is-“ 

“and you can’t imagine how much that means to me- how much it would mean to any android.” Dorian continued, looking straight at him, “But this… these memories are important. I feel- I know that understand them is my duty.” 

John blinked, “So now it’s a duty?” 

“I mean-“ 

“Awesome.” 

“If it was you in my place, you wouldn’t want to know the truth?” 

“Like I could ever be in your place.” John commented, and cursed against himself. He took a deep breath, sitting at the table. “I’m-“ 

“No need to apologize.” Dorian stopped him, “You’re right. That was a stupid question.” 

John stared at the floor for a long moment and then looked at him, back against the chair, “I’ll help you. You already know that I will, but you have to promise me you won’t do anything stupid. Got it?” 

Dorian nodded. 

_You better, because I don’t need to lose anyone else in my life_ , John thought, but can’t manage to say it aloud. Probably he should have, but he was almost certain that Dorian already knew what that silence meant.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Too bad I can use the Hurt!John tag only once...

The day after, John was at his desk, absently looking at the screen that was running the videos around Tamara Wade’s building for the fifth time.

Valerie was passing by when she noticed his empty glare, so she stopped next to him, looked at the screen and then at him again, “You ok, John?” 

He tried to hide the little flinch he made, stretching on the chair, looking at her, “Yes. Yes, why?” 

“You were kind of… spacing out?” 

“Yeah… sleepless night.” He saw her waiting for him to continue. “You know…” he waved a hand.

She frowned a bit then nodded in understanding, “Oh. Of course.” She said with a light smile.

“No- not what you’re thinking, it’s- it was just Dorian.” 

“…Oh.” And this time her voice was half surprised, half confused. 

“Not in that way either... He stayed at my place to charge tonight so…” 

Valerie was smiling more genuinely, “Worried to have an android at home?” 

“Definitely.” He sighed, trying to change subject, “News about the homicide?” 

“I didn’t know I was allowed to investigate about it.” 

John huffed a laugh, “You’re more than allowed.”

“I checked some leads,” she nodded, “but found nothing to work on so far. No one saw the killer escaping… she sure knew how to lure the cameras.” 

“So you think who shot me was Tamara’s murderer?” 

“I shouldn’t?” 

John looked back at the screen, “No, I thought was the same person from the beginning.” 

“Well, Tamara wasn’t a criminal. I don’t think there were two different persons waiting to kill her… I’m pretty sure we’re searching for one person in this case.” 

“Just one master in escaping.” He sighed and heard his phone ring. 

“I’ll keep you updated.” She said, leaving. 

John nodded and answered the call, “Kennex.” 

“Detective John Kennex?” asked a female voice.

“Yeah, who’s talking?” 

“You don’t know me Detective, but me and my organization followed most of yours cases in the last years.” 

“Ok… I feel honored, miss…?” 

“Yvern.” 

“Yvern… alright. If you are a journalist, you should know we can’t share info about any cases-“ 

“I haven’t called for the cases, Detective. I would like to have a talk with you. Privately.” 

John frowned, staring at Captain Maldonado’s office on the other side of the room. “You mean an interview?” 

A little pause. “Yes, we can call it that way.” 

“About what, exactly?” 

“Your personal opinions on androids working in the police. About old DRN models, specifically.” 

John’s mind was suddenly on alert, “What?” 

“We know most of the Police Officers works with modern MX. We wonder about your decision to keep using an old model- one of the _crazy one_ , like people used to call them.” 

“That’s not-“ 

“How is he? Have you ever saw something that makes him different, Detective?” 

“Why this interest about DRNs?” 

“Because they are known like the androids that got closer to be like humans more than any other prototype. We still found their story fascinating… even more, if a Detective decides to work with one of them for two years.” 

“With a lot of patience, it’s not that hard.” John was thinking only one word about the conversation: bullshit. “What’s your organization, anyway?” 

“A little group, I doubt you know it.” 

“Test me.” 

“Will you accept to meet me, then?” 

“No, if you don’t answer my questions.” John moved to the computer, trying to connect the call and see where the woman was.

“Don’t waste your time trying to find me, Detective. I’ll keep in touch.” She said before closing the call. 

John thumped the phone on the desk, cursing at the screen: not enough time to track her down. Who was that woman? And why the hell she asked about Dorian? Did they knew something? Something about the memories? 

After a moment, John stood and walked fast to the lab. 

 

In five minutes he was there, marching into the principal room with a look that probably screamed _I have a gun and I am not afraid to use it_ because Dorian turned and frowned at him. 

“John. You alright?” he asked sitting on the table, his jacket placed next to him. 

The detective was still scanning all over the lab. “Yeah, I just… well… you know…” he saw the android slowly shake his head in no, still frowning, “I got no clue about Tamara Wade, so… where’s Rudy?” 

“He’s on the phone right now.” He answered, looking at the room behind him for a second, “Are you sure everything’s alright?” 

“Yes. Yeah, of course.” John didn’t had time to decide if talk with him about Yvern or not because the Doctor was already coming back. 

“Sorry about that, we can- oh, hi John.” Rudy said, surprised, “Everything’s ok?” 

“Why everyone keeps asking me that?” he huffed. 

“Well, we weren’t expecting you before lunch… but you’re just in time.” Rudy said, working on one of the computers. 

“In time for what?” 

“For the show. Dorian, can you please lock the doors of the lab?” 

The android nodded, blue lines running over his face for a second. 

John moved closer and then stopped behind the Doctor while the second memory appeared on the screen, “That’s the memory I saw yesterday.” He said, watching again the park, the house and then the black form of a woman. 

“I extract it this morning,” Rudy said, crossing his arms. All three of them watched the memory in silence two times before he continued, “It’s made like the first one. Still organic… still a complete mystery.” 

“You can’t see the woman’s face?” asked John. 

“No… but I have more tests to try.” 

Dorian was staring at the memory in silence, still sitting on the table, then saw his partner frowning a bit, “What?” 

“Nothing.” 

“That’s not your nothing face.” 

“I have a _nothing_ face?” 

“Well, you gave me a _disco_ face.” 

“That’s- that’s not the same. I don’t have a _nothing face_.”

“Yes, you do.” Dorian and Rudy said at the same time, the doctor still staring at the screen. 

John sighed, shaking his head, “I could be wrong, but I think I saw that house somewhere.” 

“Really?” 

“Guys, can you stop with the chorus talking?” 

“Sorry.” They said together for the third time, and Dorian added, “You remember where?” 

John shrugged, staring at the blurred imagine of the big house: it looked more like some kind of old mansion. “Maybe on TV, or on some magazine… could be anywhere.” He said trying to remember why that house looked familiar. 

“I’ll try to find a match in the city. Maybe is a place you saw in the past,” Rudy said, “It looks kind of old-fashioned.” 

“I can help.” Said Dorian. 

“No- no, thanks.” Rudy said quickly, looking at the android, “We’ll try to keep all the investigation about this in here. Would be better for you to not get too much into it on your own.” 

“You think I could activate more memories?” Asked the DRN.

“You think _he_ can _activate_ these memories?” John pointed out. 

“W-well…” 

“Thanks for the heads-up, doc.” 

“We were talking about it just this morning.” Dorian explained, “Rudy said that if the memories are already in my system, maybe they need something to be activated.” 

“Like the hack?” 

“Yes, but they are also organic, like human memories so…” Rudy looked between them, “Maybe these memories just need the right stimuli to appear.” 

“We don’t even know _if_ there are more- we shouldn’t hope that there’s no more?” 

“It’s just a theory, John. We’re testing every possibility… or at least those that don’t put Dorian in danger.” Rudy said, busy with the computer again. 

John took a deep breath, noting the little smile of appreciation on Dorian’s face at those words. A smile so earnest… so human. “Alright. Keep me updated if, I don’t know, you discover that he’s the key to save the world or something.” He said nervously, walking away. Once at the door, he found it still locked and instead of screaming something harsh at the other two, he just breathed and looked down. 

“The key to save the world?” Dorian repeated, slowly coming closer, “You think I’m so important?” 

“And you think this is all a joke?” John asked turning against him, and couldn’t stop that harsh tone anymore. 

Dorian wasn’t smiling, but his face became a bit more worried, “No.” 

“Then can you two stop acting like we’re talking about just a random android and drive _me_ crazy?” 

“You agreed to this… To help me.” 

“I know, I’m trying to, but-“ 

“What happened before, in the office?” Dorian asked suddenly, “What make you run in here?” 

John shook his head, turning to the door, “Open up.” 

“Tell me what happened.” 

“Dorian-“ 

“I’m still your partner, I can help.” 

“If you want to help me, just open this damn door.” John’s voice wasn’t angry now, just cold and serious, with no intention to keep the conversation going. 

Dorian stared at him but silently unlocked the lab, watching the detective walk away. 

Approaching the elevator, John felt a shiver from his right leg and after a moment, the synthetic limb was once again just a heavy, useless piece of metal. He grasped at the wall trying not to fall on the corridor. “Damn it-” John punched the synthetic leg, fighting the need to take it off and smashed it against the wall. 

He stood there, waiting for what looked like an eternity, refusing to call for help, until another shiver hit and the leg started working again. After another series of breaths to calm himself down, John left the wall and walked inside the elevator. 

 

Luckily, the synthetic leg didn’t stop working again, but because of what was happening with Dorian, the weird phone call from the mysterious Miss Yvern _and_ the problem with his leg, John still couldn’t shake off the tension after got home and in the evening the atmosphere in the apartment wasn’t easy. 

Dorian was making some tea in the kitchen, waiting there in silence- not that they both talked much that day. Something wasn’t right, the android knew it, but he also knew that the Detective wasn’t going to talk about it yet, and push him to do it never ended well… so there they were: one in the kitchen, the other in the living room, carefully trying to survive the day. 

John was staring at the documents about Tamara Wade’s case he and Valerie put together that day: virtual notes all over the coffee table, but no lead to follow yet, no idea of who was with her that day and why she got murdered- or why shot John’s leg. Interrogating some of Tamara’s friend didn’t helped either: Valerie talked with them but everyone was destroyed or surprised by her death; apparently, she didn’t had any enemy or even ever had a fight with anyone. No family members, no boyfriend. Just a normal woman apparently murdered for no reason. 

“John.” 

He blinked and looked up, the steamy teacup handed to him. “Thanks.” He said, voice still cold. He didn’t mean to be, he tried to calm down, but just couldn’t. “You can go charge. We’re done for today.” Better end the day soon as possible. 

“I can help you with those if you want,” Dorian said, looking at the documents. 

“There’s nothing new, and I’m going to sleep too anyway.” John took a sip, passing a hand over his eyes. 

“Alright... You sure there’s anything else I can do?” 

“Just go charge. See you tomorrow.” 

Dorian kept looking down at him for a moment before leaving to his charger, close to the balcony’s door. 

John closed his eyes and let his head fall back on top of the couch. Feeling dead tired but also too nervous to actually sleep wasn’t going to make the night any better.

 

Dorian woke up first like always and stared at the dark place for a second before starting to open the windows on a cloudy day. Hearing a groan, he turned to the living room and once there, found the Detective laying on the sofa, shielding his eyes from the light with an arm. “Did you slept here?” 

John murmured something, then something else before sitting up with another tired groan. 

“Why you didn’t used your bed?” 

“Too far.” Was the short answer and John stood from the couch to finally move to the bathroom, closing the door behind him with a weak kick. 

When he came back, after a shower and dressed up, his mood was a bit better, but looking at Dorian was a constant reminder of everything that was wrong in those days. 

“Feel better?” Dorian asked, “Coffee’s ready.” 

“I’ll get it at the station. Come on.” John grabbed the jacket, keys and moved to the door. 

“John.” 

“What?” 

“You know I can see that you’re obviously not ok, right?” he asked, following him in the street.

He looked up from the phone just turned on and saw the usual blue lines on his face, “You’re wrong, then.” 

“Your heart rate is-“ 

“None of your business.” 

“Why you’re acting like this?” 

“Like what?” 

“Like two years ago.” 

John wore the jacket and stopped next to the car, looking at him and Dorian was worried now. Offended, a bit sad, but also very worried. “I thought that I would handle it better, ok?” He saw him staring, but sure that the android knew what he was talking about, “I’m trying, but you can’t expect me to be happy about this. I can’t do anything and this is driving me crazy more than you already usually do. I’m just human, so… don’t mind me.” 

“I don’t want you to feel like this.” 

“Well, too late.” 

“I mean it, John. If you want to stay out of this, Rudy and I can-“ 

John huffed an ironic laugh, “Yeah. Right.” And hopped inside the car. 

“I’m serious.” Dorian sat next to him. “If you think that this is too much to handle-“ 

“And let you investigate by yourself? I’ll see you decommissioned in one day if we’re lucky.” John commented, moving the car into the traffic. 

They reached the Police Station in a slightly better mood, despite everything. Once parked the car, John heard the phone ring and grab it from his pocket, “Kennex.” 

“Hello, Detective. Have you considered my request yet?” 

“Who-?” 

“About our interview. With you and your DRN.” 

John stopped with only one leg outside the car. 

“I’m not calling in a wrong moment, I hope.” Miss Yvern continued. 

“It is.” 

“I am very sorry. When can I call you back, then?” 

“How about never?” 

A little, patience sigh, “Detective, please, I’m just trying to do my job…” 

“And I can’t wait to do mine if you call me again.” 

Dorian was in front of him, frowning when he saw him close the call with a dark expression on his face. “Who was it?” 

“Journalists.” John cut short, shaking his head. Once out of the car, his phone rang again, and again was a private number. Thinking for a second, he said, “Hey… why don’t you go ahead and grab some coffee for me and Rudy? I’ll meet you there after I get rid of this.” 

Dorian nodded slowly, “Ok. Don’t scream too much. Last time you made cry some kids.” 

“No promises.” John watched him walking away, looking back only once. When he was far away, he answered the call, “You know I’m a cop, right?” 

“Then you should know that I may have good reasons to insist,” Yvern answered.

“I really dread to know these good reasons of yours. What the hell do you want from me?” 

“Just a meeting, like I said the first time.” 

“Well, you’re not gonna have it. We're done?” 

“No, I fear we’re not done, Detective.” Yvern’s voice became a bit more low and serious, “I didn’t want to come to this, but we know about your DRN problems, that’s why we want to talk with you both.” 

John stopped his pacing, “What?” 

“Please, don’t play dumb with us. We both know what I am talking about.” 

“He doesn't have any problem.” 

“Aside the lack of control you have on him, he also got hacked some days ago, am I right?” 

“How the hell did you know-“ 

“He was malfunctioning during the hack, Detective? Did he hurt someone?” 

_Why I have the feeling you already know the answer?_ , John thought. “Listen, I don’t know who your group is, but honestly I don’t like it already. Who are you? How you know these things?” 

“You haven't really thought that no one was keeping an eye on you and your android, did you?” 

John stayed silent. He was looking around the street, left and right, then in front of him. 

Yvern sighed, “Detective, we really need to talk. Sooner the better.” 

“Sure. How about now?” he murmured, his eyes slowly becoming angrier, “I bet you’re freezing in that trench of yours.” He added without looking away from a woman in front of a shop, on the other side of the busy road; her back on him, brown short hair… she was on the phone and straightened her back at those words. “Like I said I’m a cop... and a pretty good one.” He said and she closed the call.

The woman didn’t turn around but quickly walked away. 

“Stop right there!” John yelled, running to follow, somehow avoiding the cars that managed to halt in the traffic. “Police! Hey, stop!” he kept running, but again a shiver warned him too late that his synthetic leg was going off: he grasped the side a car to not crash completely on the street but he was running fast and rolled on the concrete anyway. Laying on his back, John shook his head and pushed up on his elbows just in time to hear another car’s screech trying to stop, and saw it coming against his face way too fast to do anything else. 

Inside the Police Station, Dorian was waiting to get the coffee when he looked outside, seeing the traffic stuck in the street, then some yelling. Some of the cops walked to the door and outside to see what was happening. 

Dorian’s face flashed of blue lines again and then blinked in confusion, running outside: he looked at the spot where he left John without finding him, so he moved to the street where a little crowd was staring at something in the middle of the blocked traffic, worried faces were everywhere. “Please, let me pass- excuse me...” Dorian reached the point of the accident: there was blood on the road and on the bumpers and frontal hood of a car, and next to it, he saw two legs of a person laying on the floor. Walking around, he found John with two agents that were checking his eyes and the bleeding wound on the side of his head and some cuts over his left eye.

“Told you guys, I’m fine…” John was saying, blood all over the side of his face and on his jacket. 

“Ambulance is on the way.” Said one of them. 

“What? No, I-“ 

“Stay down!” 

“I don’t need the hospital,” John said again, trying to move them away, but a hand grabbed his arm so tightly that he flinched a bit, looking up at his partner that was scanning him with a serious face. “Hey, Dorian… give me a hand, would you?” 

“You have to stay down!” Almost yelled the other agent, a woman ready to knock him off herself. 

“John, don’t move- John-“ Dorian couldn’t stop from helping him stand: the detective was climbing his arms like a cat. “You have a concussion, probably a skull fracture- John!” he said firmly and nervously when he saw him looking on the other side of the street for some reason. 

“I know…” John said slowly, too slowly, looking back at him, “I just- hit my head… nothing new...” He smiled a bit, before promptly fall unconscious against the android and the two agents.

.-.-.-. 

John couldn’t open his eyes, but heard some voices around himself, slow and low at first, then stronger, someone was angry, then silence for another long moment, until there were only two voices and he managed to understand some words.

“-and I found him like this.” 

“Maybe he-“ 

“He was, there were cameras around but-“ 

“Dorian, you should…” 

“No. I want to wait that he-“ 

“Ok… Dorian? Dorian what-?” some steps, then a little gasp, “Oh no…” more steps and the sound of a key turning to close a door. Then there was silence and the Detective fell asleep again. 

 

When John actually opened his eyes again, the first thing he did was groan in pain, placing a hand over his head and crying even more. 

“You better don’t touch there,” Valerie said, standing next to his bed. She smiled a bit at him, “Welcome back.” 

He slowly looked around, “Why the hospital? What- I had an accident?” the memories were a bit confused. 

“A bad one.” She nodded, “And a pretty strange one, too.” 

“Why?” 

“You tell us. Dorian left you outside the station and after five minutes you were bleeding in the middle of the street. What happened?” 

John tried to remember, but for a long moment there was nothing at all aside he and Dorian leaving his apartment… then he remembered Yvern. “I don’t know.” He lied.

Valerie sighed, “The cameras saw you running through the street calling for someone.” 

“Let me see it too, so maybe I’ll be able to remember.” 

“Sure… Tomorrow then.” 

“Tomorrow? No, I am leaving today. What times is it?” 

“Seven PM and no, you’re not leaving.” She saw him staring, “John, you almost cracked your head open yesterday morning. It’s a miracle there are no severe consequences… and that you’re not in a coma again.” 

John sighed slowly, “Where’s Dorian?” 

“He left with Rudy this morning. They’ll come back later.” 

“They can call me…” 

“No, they can’t.” She said looking on the bedside table. 

John followed her gaze and stared sadly at his destroyed phone. “Nice.” 

“I better go now. The nurses weren’t too happy to see me creeping in here, waiting for you to wake up.” 

He smiled a bit and saw her grab her jacket, “Thank you for staying.” 

“No problem.” Valerie smiled and left the room. 

Once the door was closed, John slowly sit up and had to keep a hand against his head, feeling like a car hit him… at least now he knew how it felt like. He grabbed the remains of the phone, thinking about Yvern: that woman was there, right in front of the Police Station. She was so close that he completely lost it and almost got himself killed. That was embarrassing…

The door slowly opened and Rudy peeked inside, “Hey, you’re awake.” 

“Apparently.” 

“How you’re feeling?” 

“As if my head is going to explode, aside that I'm fine.” He tested his legs and cursed mentally at the synthetic leg now perfectly working.

Rudy closed the door and moved next to the bed, staring at the bandage around his head to keep the patch and the stitches underneath still in place. When he looked at him, he was staring back. “Sorry, but- you really caught everyone off guard this time.” 

“I know. I’m sorry, I… I can’t remember who I saw… wish I could.” 

“It sure was important to make you run like that.” 

“Probably… You’re alone?” 

Rudy sighed, nodding, “Dorian is… he is in my lab right now.” 

“Ok. He...” 

“I turned him off.” 

“You wha- huh…” John moved his head too fast, and the hand on it didn’t help much. 

“I had to. He… while we were here, he remembered something else.” 

“Another memory? He didn’t hurt anyone?” 

“No. No, he just froze here for some minutes. I closed the door and…well, all I could do was wait and hope for the best.” Rudy sat down on the closest chair. “He was already shaken about what happened to you, and after the memory faded, he had half of the charge- he was too much on the edge, so I had to take him away and turned him off. I told him I had to.” 

“And I guess he wasn’t happy about it,” John commented, but Rudy’s face was dark. 

“He wanted to come back here, to be sure you were ok. I never saw him so angry… Mostly against himself.” 

“Wasn’t him that throw me in front of that car.” 

“No, but I think he hates that he wasn’t there to help you.” 

“He should know that it’s not his fault…” 

“Yeah, well, try to explain that to Dorian next time you see him.” 

_So much effort trying to protect him, just to give him another memory_ , John though sadly, laying his back against the pillow, “So your theory was right? You think the memory was connected to something else this time?” 

Rudy nodded slowly, “They seem to be connected to strong emotions. In this case, the cause can be only you.” 

“Me? He was so worried about me to activate a memory?” John saw him nod again, “Oh, come on…” 

“Memories are filled with emotion, after all. It makes sense.” 

“If you say so.” John could only feel his head heavier and heavier. 

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow. You have to rest. Here, new phone.” He said standing and leaving a phone next to the broken one. 

“Was a bad memory? The new one, I mean.” 

Rudy looked down at him, “It sure wasn’t the happiest one... but don’t think about it for now. Rest and let that horrible wound heal a bit.” He added, looking worryingly at his head.

“Yes, sir...” John said. After Rudy left, he stared out the window, into the night, and fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

The morning after, John felt a bit better, even if his head was still hurting like hell. The doctors say that there were any worrying consequences from the hit and how lucky he had been. One of the nurses told him that he was covered in blood so much when he arrived at the hospital, they were sure the car had actually broken his head. 

After a light breakfast in bed, John moved his leg out and slowly started to take off the hospital vest. Once wearing his trousers, he stood to grab the shirt from the chair, but fell down on the mattress again, closing his eyes over the pain and vertigo. He tried again, this time grasping the chair before fall down again. 

That was when Dorian walked inside the room, looking at his shirtless and pale partner: there were scratches on his neck and still the bruise over his shoulder. “John?” 

He looked up and couldn’t hide a sigh of relief, “Hey.” 

“You shouldn’t stay in bed?” 

“No, I’m free to go.” 

“But your wound isn’t-” 

“It’s just my head- headache.” John finally managed to wear his sweater, probably recently washed because that flowerish smell sure wasn’t from his washing machine. “I just need some painkiller and I’ll be ready to go. You came here alone?” he asked, collecting his few belongings. 

“Yes. Sorry I couldn’t stay yesterday.” 

“It’s fine, Rudy told me what happened…” John looked around searching for his jacket that the android handed to him when he turned around. “How’re you feeling? Everything’s alright?” he asked wearing it. 

“Yes. He told you about...?” 

“He did. He also said that it wasn’t nice as the last time.” 

Dorian looked down, “It wasn’t.” He confirmed and, watching him bend a bit too much on one side, he grabbed him by his shoulder to keep him straight. “John…” 

“It’s nothing...” John grinned, “I just feel like I’m drunk.” He straightened his back and blinked away the dizziness, “Come on.” 

Retrieved the medicines, they made their way to the car. Once inside, Dorian couldn’t stop from scanning him again. 

“Three doctors were checking on me less than one hour ago, Dorian.” John sighed, swallowing down the first painkiller of the day. 

“Just to be sure.” 

“I wouldn’t be here if they weren’t sure.” 

“Sorry if I’m worried about your head almost cracked open.” 

“It wasn’t.” 

“I know. I said _almost_.” 

John dropped his shoulders, looking at him but he was staring on the road while driving them away from the Hospital. 

 

Rudy was checking some of his books when he saw the Detective enter the lab, “You’re already up?” He said smiling a bit. 

“Up and full of painkillers that are probably the only reason I am _still_ up.” John nodded.

“That wound wasn’t a joke. There’s still blood on the road, you know.” 

“I’ve left my mark for the future.” 

“That’s- that’s not funny, John.” 

“Sorry, my filters aren’t working much at the moment.” He sighed, sitting on a chair. 

“Dorian?” 

“Parking the car. He left me at the entrance like an old man, can you believe it?” 

“Well, it’s Dorian so, yes, I can believe it.” 

John shook his head and stopped right away with a wince of pain. He looked up at him again and asked, “So, you’re gonna show me the new memor- the new _file_ or we have to wait for him?” 

“No. I don’t think he is eager to see it again anyway…” Rudy grabbed a tablet from the desk and handed it to him. 

John pressed play and the memory started: the scene was in first person once again, someone was walking quickly into an almost complete dark place. After some seconds, the person turned back and another apparently tall person was walking next to him, or her, probably telling something. 

“It’s… is this a kid? He seems to be a short person in the second memory too.” John commented without looking away. 

“I thought the same.” Was Rudy’s dry answer. 

So the _kid_ was following someone now, kind of running for it. The memory faded in gray and black lines for a second, then it was back and the kid was on the floor; he tried to stand, looking down and there were dark stains on the pavement, but he started to walk away, opened a door a fall down again, as if someone pushed him down. The visual moved from the ground to behind him, sign that he was rolling on his back, and then something was suddenly rushing against him and the memory ended abruptly.

John almost dropped the tablet, “What was that?” he asked looking up at the other, “It looked like a demon or something…” he left the tablet on the desk, not in the mood to see the video again. 

“I’m still working on the frames.” Rudy said, “But now we know that at least one of these memories belongs to a kid- or a very short person… probably the same person of the other memories.” 

John thought about the last one he just saw, recalling the images, “That house... it looked old- fashioned like the first one. When the kid fell, I saw the pavement was pretty elaborated…” 

Rudy frowned a bit and took the tablet. After a moment, he showed him that said floor pausing the video when the person was standing up from it, and there was a barely visible pattern on it, geometrical, elegant. “You have eyes for the details, John.” He commented in appreciation. 

“Lots of people seems to forget that I am a Detective, recently.” He sighed, “Anyway, I don’t think you’ll find lots of houses like that around the city. It could be the same mansion of the first memory.” 

Rudy looked down at the tablet again, then back at him, “I still haven’t found it so far, but it could be…” he then smiled a bit, “We have another clue?” 

“We have another clue.” The Detective confirmed tiredly. “But I wish we’d find something more about what attacked that poor kid.” 

“I’m working on it. I started this morning and-“ 

“What about the other memories? Anything from them?” 

“Not much, no, but…” Rudy retrieved something from the desk, “I think this will come in handy.”

John took the picture: was the mansion they saw in the second memory, still blurry, but a bit more distinct now. 

“You really think it could be the same place?” Rudy asked, unsure. 

“It could be, if these memories are connected to each other somehow. Can I keep it?” 

“Sure…” Rudy looked up, behind him, and smiled a bit, “Good morning Dorian.” 

“Good morning.” The android nodded, “You showed him the memory?” 

“He did.” John said, looking back at him, “I bet wasn’t a pleasure to see that out of the blue.” 

“It wasn’t.” 

There was a moment of silence, then Rudy said to the DRN, “I- I’ll wait in next room for your checkups. Whenever you’re ready.” He added, moving to the other side of the lab. 

John stared at the android that was staring back at his bandaged head. “Dorian.” He called and he looked down at his face, “You ok?” 

“I… I don’t know.” He answered in a low voice, “I think I know now what you meant talking about bad feelings.” 

“What you mean?” 

He sighed, “Nothing.” 

“You know, your _nothing_ face is not better than mine.” 

“Can we talk about it later?” 

John looked at him a bit taken back, but nodded and watched him walk away into the other room. 

 

Of course, Captain Maldonado called John in her office that same morning and the screams echoed in the entire floor, making Detective Paul shake his head and Detective Stahl sigh. 

“He should be at home with a wound like that,” Valerie said to Dorian that was standing next to her desk. 

“He just likes to show off.” Snorted Paul, leaving with his MX. 

Dorian said nothing, looking down in silence, and waiting. 

 

In the late afternoon, John insisted that _Come on, I’m fine to do some grocery_ , and of course they ended up at home with the android keeping the bags in one hand and the human’s arm over his shoulders to support him while moving inside. 

“You know, after working together for two years I should be used to your reckless ideas, and yet you’re still able to surprise me,” Dorian commented dryly, closing the door. 

“Not my fault if my head feels like a bomb ready to explode.” 

“Who ran into the traffic like a madman again?” 

“Ok, maybe that was my fault…” 

Dorian let him slowly sit on the couch and moved to the kitchen. 

“Not hungry,” John said closing his eyes, head back against the soft sofa. 

“You have to eat something.” 

“Later, grandpa.” There was silence after that, so he opened his eyes again and Dorian was staring down at him with a terrified face that made him blink in alarm, “What?” 

“John you’re bleeding!” the android said before running to the bathroom. 

“I’m… am I?” John sat better and touched the patch, finding bit of blood on his fingers, “Maybe that’s why hurts so much…” 

“I have to call an ambulance. We need to know if-“ 

“Just do a scan and check by yourself.” John sighed. 

Dorian was back with the AID box and scanned him for a long moment. “I think… I think I can fix it. Your conditions look fine, heart rate a bit over the edge...” he blinked in surprise, then angry, sitting next to him, “Some stitches are broken. Did you scratched a still half-open wound?”

“I didn’t scratch it, I just… OW!” John jumped when Dorian touched the bandage even so slightly. The android stopped immediately, hands still up. “It hurts… sorry, but it hurts.” John said with a pained voice.

Dorian grabbed his jacket and handed him some painkillers that the Detective send down in a gulp. “I have to fix it and change the bandage. Think you can do it?” 

“I survived a bomb.” 

“Losing a leg.” 

John looked sideways at him, “Still alive, though.” 

Dorian sighed and slowly started to remove the bandage. The Detective winced in pain multiple times but kept his eyes closed almost all the time, enduring the pain until most of the work was done and Dorian was bandaging his head with the new, clean one. “Wait here. Don’t move- and don’t touch the wound.”

“Yeah, yeah…” John calmed down slowly, feeling dizzy, but the painkillers were doing the job and at least the headache was gone. He flinched a bit when something cold and wet brushed his face. 

“You have blood over your face,” Dorian said, carefully cleaning the side of his face. 

“I can do it…” 

“You just have to stay still. And eat something in the next hours.” 

John sighed. After the cloth was gone, he turned to look at him: Dorian was staring at his own hands now stained in red. “You… you should wash it away.” 

“There was so much blood on the street…” Dorian said slowly, still looking down, “I think… I think what I felt was what you called fear.” 

“The blood scares you?” 

Dorian shook his head, “Not the blood itself, but because it was your blood. I saw the info about the accident before run out of the station, then I saw the blood… I saw you laying behind that car and for a moment I thought you were dead.”

John stared intently at him, not sure how to react to those words, like always happened when the android suddenly started talking about human feelings. 

“It was like being paralyzed for a moment. Not psychically, but my mind was suddenly blank… until I saw you alive.” Dorian looked up at him with worried eyes, “John, I shouldn’t feel any of this.” 

“Huh… well, you’re actually made to feel something like that…“ 

“But not so much.” 

_I think you were always able to feel more than any other android, but never really managed to interact with the feelings_ , John thought, looking into his blue eyes, “I know it wasn’t a nice feeling, but there’s relief too. I’m alive, I am not dead.” 

Dorian stared at his bloodied hands, “This is how the DRNs started to go crazy. All this was…” 

“Hey.” John grabbed his hand firmly, “If I can deal with it, you can do the same. Don’t you dare say that you can’t.” 

“But…” 

“But we’re getting more memories, I know, and we’re also making progress. We’re searching for that mansion. If it’s still somewhere, we’ll find it.” 

“What if we won’t?”

“You said you were ready to face any risk to know the truth...” 

“Not if that means to get you hurt.” 

“Bit too late to back out. That’s another human thing for you.” 

“Which is?” 

John sighed, “That we can’t go back in time, and sometimes we do things we know are dangerous anyway.”

Dorian was staring at him intently, “To protect the person we love.” 

“You… you always have to make it sound more awkward than it is, do you?” John snorted tiredly, and watching him grin slightly was enough to let him know that he was right.

-.-.-

“So, you think that what happened to me activated the memory or was just because of how you felt that time?” John asked the morning after sitting at the table in the kitchen, eating some bacon.

Dorian was pouring the coffee in a mug, “Maybe both.” He said, “I saw blood in the memory too… that was a common thing. Along with the sensation of fear.” He added, placing the mug next to him. 

“Thanks… so now we know that the memories belong to a child attacked by something in and old mansion.” John took a sip and saw him sit in front of him with a tense look, “Hey. That’s a big progress from the complete nothing we had before. Plus, you’re still not crazy, so we’re doing great, all considered.” 

“I need to remind you about the wound you have on your head?” 

“No, but that have nothing to do with your memories.” 

Dorian studied him, “You still can’t remember who you were chasing?” 

“Nope.” 

“Who could make you run like that?” 

“Maybe was someone I knew because of some case still open?” John shrugged. 

“You saw the records… you really didn’t notice anyone?” 

“Am I under interrogation now?” 

“No, but you have to admit that it’s weird.” 

“You can be crazy, but I can’t be weird?” 

Dorian sighed patiently, “If another case is involved, I would like to help. I own you that much.” 

“It’s ok, don’t worry.” John took another sip, staring into the coffee before carefully place a hand over the bandage with a soft groan. 

“Hurts too much? Need painkillers?” The android asked. 

“No. Yesterday was worst…” 

Dorian scanned his head, “Your conditions are stable. The wound will heal if you stop scratching it.” 

“I’m not scratching it.” Snorted the Detective before his phone rang. He grabbed it and sighed at the name on the screen, “Hey Rudy, isn’t it too early for-“ 

Dorian watched him listen to the call, try to say something but give up and then look intently at him, so he asked, “Something wrong?” 

“I don’t know… no, I was- Rudy, I was talking to Dorian. Yes… yes, I’ll tell him. Send me the picture and I’ll call you back, ok?” closing the call, John kept staring at the screen until a file arrived.

“What is it?” 

“Rudy tried to clean the last imagine of the memory you got the other day.” 

“Why he didn’t send it to me directly?” 

John handed the phone. 

Dorian took it: the picture was still dark, but the _demon_ John saw the first time in the video now had the shape of a man, a face and two shiny, scary blue eyes more visible now. He partly opened his mouth, closed it and then looked at John, “This is… it’s an android?” 

“Rudy said he had no idea what to think about it.” John sighed, “And honestly, me either.” 

 

One hour later, they were back in the lab, staring at the creepy picture on the big screen in front of them. 

Rudy was on the other side of the desk, even more nervous than usual. 

John sighed and looked back at him, “Ok, so we got another clue about what happened to the kid… Maybe that’s why the memories are happening in the first place: he was attacked by something that could be an android, and Dorian is just reacting to it after what happened to me.” 

“I haven't attacked you. Not on purpose.” He said, looking down. 

“I know, but you saw me hurt and bleeding, maybe the last memory was similar enough to get a reaction.” 

Dorian was staring at the screen, at those blue eyes, and then looked at Rudy that quickly looked down. 

John didn’t miss the exchange of glares. “What?” 

“Me and Rudy are thinking the same thing.” 

“I- I don’t know. This entire situation is getting too much confusing.” Commented the Doctor.

“Rudy…” 

“We don’t know anything for sure yet.” 

“Can I join the conversation? I’m not a telepath.” John snorted. 

Dorian waited, but the Rudy wasn’t going to say anything, so he had to, “That android looks like a DRN.” 

John blinked, “Come again?” 

“It looks like me.” 

John tried to say something. He looked back at the picture and back at him, “Seriously? Just because of the eyes? That picture is barely focused and you two can see a DRN in it?” 

“Look closely,” Dorian said. 

John sighed, shaking his head, and looked better at the screen, and damn it all, now he could notice the light shape of a dark face... but the chance that it could be a DRN were still low. 

“I know it’s too soon for any conclusion,” Rudy said, “it could be any other android, really, but with Dorian having these memories… and now this memory specifically…” 

“You think that that’s Dorian attacking the kid?” John cut short.

The android took a breath, “It would make sense.” 

“No, it doesn’t make any sense at all.” John barked, “We know for sure that the memories are old, very old, and you- you were, what, a private android in the past? We don’t even know that.” 

Dorian looked at Rudy that shook his head, “I don’t know. He was already here when I moved in, decommissioned like the others DRNs… but I can search for some info about your past. If something’s still in the archive.” 

Dorian nodded, “Thanks.” He watched him walk away, so he turned to the Detective that was still staring at the screen with an angry face. He slowly moved next to him. 

“Even if that’s you, and that’s a big _if_ ,” John said nervously, “why the memories would start coming back now? What’s the point of making you remember this and drive you crazy?” 

“Revenge?” he saw the Detective ready to punch him, “It’s a possibility, John. Or they just wanted me to keep them.” 

“Why?” 

“We wouldn’t be here if I knew.” Dorian pressed play on the computer and the memory started from the beginning again, “I wish I could remember about my past…”

“Rudy said that you were put away like other DRNs after they started to go crazy, but you didn’t.” 

“Maybe he just doesn't know the truth. Maybe I was decommissioned for another reason.” He said, slowly looking back at him with a blank expression.

They stared at each other for a moment, then John said, “If you’re trying to scare me, isn’t working, so stop playing the evil robot with me.” And he walked away to reach Rudy. 

Dorian followed him with his eyes, a light smile on his lips that slowly faded when he looked back at the screen. 

Rudy looked at the Detective sitting next to him, eyes closed and a hand over his bandaged head. “How’s the wound?” 

“Not better than a day ago.” 

“You can rest here for a bit if you want.” He saw him frown, “I know Captain Maldonado banished you from the office.” He smiled a bit. 

John sighed, “Like a bump on my head would stop me.” 

“You better be careful. I’m serious.” 

John nodded, looking at the computer he was using for a moment, then at Dorian still in front of the screen, “You think that he have those memories because it was him? Because he was actually there?” 

Rudy followed his gaze for a moment, “It could be. Like it could be any other DRN.” 

“He… you don’t think he would actually go crazy, right?” 

“I hope not… oh, now that we’re talking about it…” Rudy took a little box from the desk behind him, staring at it with a deep, worried frown. 

“You don’t look happy about that,” John commented. 

“I’m not, but after what happened in the hospital and- and before, during the hack…” Rudy took a deep breath, stopped turning the box through his hands and handed it to him. “Just in case.” 

Unsure, John opened it and saw a little gray, metal disc with a button on it. “What is it?” 

“If you press the button, it will temporarily stop any type android.” 

John looked at him in surprise, then almost offended, “You’re giving me this because of Dorian?” 

“Just in case.” He repeated.

“Are you serious?” 

“John, I feel bad myself for giving you this, but it’s for your own protection. I am feeling like a monster and- and a horrible friend now, but I need to keep in mind that your life is at risk. _You_ need to keep that in mind. I’m not telling you to use it, but… we don’t know what else can happen.” 

John took a deep breath, feeling somehow guilty anyway. “He knows about this?” 

“No.” 

“Great. Just great.” He murmured, putting the disc in his pocket. “I really hope I’ll not have to use it, or he’ll never let me see the end of it.” 

Rudy sighed sadly and turned again to the computer to continue his research. 

 

In the evening, John was back in the lab with a pained expression on his face. 

Dorian turned around, scanning him right away. 

“I’m fine, just headache.” John cut short, waving a hand. 

“You get your painkillers?” 

“I’ll take some more in few hours. They were making me feel too dizzy.” 

Dorian didn’t say anything but smiled a bit. That was an example of judgment he rarely saw from the Detective. 

“Also, Valerie told me that someone finally talked about Tamara Wade’s murder. Apparently, a guy saw her fall and that was a woman that pushed her down.” 

“So that confirm our suspect?” 

John shrugged, “The guy said that he only saw clearly that she had dark hair. I can’t be sure of that.” 

“You don’t remember?” 

“I saw her only for a few seconds before the shot. I’m pretty sure she wasn’t blond, but she could just wear a hoodie or- or a wig, for what I know.” 

Dorian thought for a moment, “So now we are 85% sure that the woman that killed Miss Wade and the one that shot you it’s the same person.” 

“Hurray for the 85%.” John sighed, sitting on a chair, “What about you? Found anything?”

“Not what I was hoping for.” Rudy said, arriving in the room with a tired look, “We now know that Dorian worked for two years in the police before being decommissioned and be awaken from you. Before that, there’s nothing.” 

John looked between them, “Am I the only one thinking that that’s a good thing?” 

“50% was me attacking the kid, 50% it wasn’t me.” Dorian deadpanned.

“Man, really, I am not in the mood for more statistics…” 

“I guess is good,” Rudy commented, “He worked in the police for a long time… hard to think that he was a private agent of some sort.” 

“What about witnesses’ protection?” John asked, “I can ask the Captain about that.” 

Rudy nodded slowly, “Just to be sure, yeah, could be a good idea. But she would’ve told me about it when she- well, when she decided to give Dorian to you.” 

“You make it sound like he was a present.” 

“ _I was_ a present from the Captain.” Dorian commented, and both of them looked at him, “For your return to the service. And because you weren’t able to work with any MX.” He cleared. 

The Detective sighed, shaking his head, keep writing the message to the Captain on his phone. 

“But I don’t feel like I was a private agent.” Dorian continued to murmur, more to himself. 

“You… you _don’t feel it_? Why?” Rudy asked. 

“I don’t know. It’s just… a sensation.” 

“Sensations too now? You’re on fire, huh?” John said putting away the phone, just to hear it ring after a moment. “Captain says she’s still upstairs. I’ll go talk to her.” 

“You want me to come with you?” Dorian asked. 

“No, wait here. Why don’t you order dinner? I should be back soon.” 

“Chinese or Thai?” 

“You pick.” 

Dorian blinked, a bit surprised, “Oh, ok.” He said, a little smile on his face.

John tried to ignore it, but couldn’t stop himself from smiling slightly himself, leaving the lab and entering the elevator to go upstairs. He sighed at the pain from the wound, but too stubborn to give up taking more painkillers than necessary. Just one more hour, then he could drug himself to sleep. 

The station was already desert, just some lights and computers still on. 

John moved into the office and saw the light in the Captain’s room. He opened the glass door, but there was no one. “Captain?” he called looking around, stepping into the room, just to find Captain Maldonado laying unconscious on the floor, behind her desk. “Sandra! Hey!” John quickly crouched next to her: she was still alive.

John stopped for a second, took his gun, but when he turned around to aim, an MX grabbed the weapon along with his hand. He looked at the android in surprise for a moment, “Call an ambulance, someone attacked the Captain.” But the MX was staring impassively at him. John tried to break free, “Did you heard me? Call help-“ he cried out in pain when he tightened the grip on his hand, forcing him to let go the gun. 

The MX kept the weapon and straight his back, standing in front of them. 

John was on his feet at the same time, staying between him and the Captain. “What the hell are you doing?” 

“We need to talk, Detective Kennex.” Said the MX, voice low and deep.

“What?” 

“Like we asked you already, we need to talk privately with you and your DRN.” 

John frowned for a moment, looking better at the android: he wasn’t wearing any helmet on his blond hair, and even if the suit was indeed black like the department’s uniform, there was no sign of any word on it, not even the usual symbols he remembered on others MXs. “You’re not one of our MXs…” 

“Correct deduction. I need you to call for your DRN, now.” 

“You’re- you work with that woman? Yvern?” 

The android stayed silent. 

“You’re in a police station, you think no one will notice what is happening here?” 

“We know what we are doing.” The MX said, “Call your DRN. I won’t ask you again.” 

John scoffed and did not move. He wasn’t prepared for the punch that hit him square in the face, sending him to roll over the desk and fall on the other side of it, hitting his head on the floor and wow, he saw millions of stars while shutting his eyes because of the pain. 

The MX moved closer, “Call him.” 

“Sorry…forgot my phone.” 

The android grabbed him by his neck with a hand and push him up above the floor, “We would like to keep this as a polite conversation.” 

“V-very polite so far.” He said, grabbing his arm, trying to get free. 

The MX’s grip stayed the same while he said, “We don’t want to kill you, Detective. Just call your DRN. That’s everything we want from you.” 

John could feel the wound pulsing in pain all over the side of his head, “Why? What do you want from him?” 

“We need to talk to him. We can help.” 

“Oh really?” 

“We know what is happening to him-“ 

“You know nothing about him.” John snorted, trying to breathe but the grip tightened around his neck. 

“This is beyond your knowledge, Detective. You should just step aside.” 

John managed to kick him away with the synthetic leg. Falling down, but free, John walked around the MX to leave the office, now sure that the Captain wasn’t in his interest. Suddenly his leg stopped working again and he fell down with a groan and an angry “Damn it!” Turning around, the android was coming closer again. 

“Why you have to make it so complicated?” 

“I wouldn’t, if you’d told me what the hell you want from us from the beginning!” 

The MX stopped at his feet and said coldly, “There is nothing you can do for him, or for us. We need to talk with him.” 

“Well, we’re like a pack… you have to pick both of us or none.” John snorted and the MX grabbed him again, throwing him against the wall of glass of the office that break into pieces in a loud crash and he landed in the center of the big room. 

Slowly trying to push himself up, John saw the MX approaching so he tried to stand, even if the leg still wasn’t working. He couldn’t do anything but run. Hopping outside, he kept walking fast to the elevator, feeling the synthetic leg slide useless on the floor. Turning a corner, he smashed against someone and he instinctively tried to push him away. 

“John-” Dorian was keeping him by his arms, looking confused by his conditions, “What happened to you?” 

“We need to move. Call backups.” He said grabbing him by the jacket and dragged him away with him. 

“Wait- John, what happened? Where’s the Captain?” 

“She’s fine. There’s- there was an MX in the office, but he’s not one of ours.” 

“He did this to you?” 

“Yeah…” John saw the elevator in the distance, keep hopping on one leg, until Dorian put one of his arms over his shoulder to support him and that helped, actually helped a lot. 

“Your leg isn’t working?” 

“Happens sometimes.” 

“Why you haven’t told Rudy? He could-“ 

“Not the time, Dorian.” John punched the button to call the elevator that slowly started to come up. “Come on…” 

“I’ll try to slow him down.” Dorian was ready to walk back, but the Detective grabbed his shirt even more tightly. 

“No, we’re leaving. Backups?” 

“They’re on the way… why we’re running away? I can-“ 

“Nothing. You can _nothing_. We’re- we’re leaving…” John’s vision became blurry and he grasped his shirt and the wall too to not fall down. “Let me guess… I’m bleeding again?” 

Dorian’s face was tense, staring at the red line of blood running over the human’s cheek, but he didn’t say anything. 

“Stairs. Come on.” 

“John…” 

“You want to help me or I have to keep jumping all over the station?” 

Dorian put his arm over his shoulders again and moved to the stairs, trying not to fall descending them. “Can you tell me what is happening at least?” 

“I told you already.” 

“I mean the truth. You’re not telling me everything.” He said and at the silence that followed, he added: “What is it that you can’t tell me?” 

John kept looking down, trying to think, but what the MX said was enough to know that whoever that people were, they wanted Dorian, and he couldn’t risk to lose him to some freaks. “Here.” He pushed both of them against a door and cut through the fourth floor. They stopped at the elevator again, that was actually waiting there. 

“John, please.” Dorian left him against one of the walls next to the doors, “Tell me what’s going on.” 

John really wanted to confess everything, about Yvern and what the MX say, but something stopped him. That bad feeling he got from the first moment they talked about those memories was growing stronger and stronger, as if they were reaching the breaking point way too fast. 

Dorian looked sadly at him, “You can’t even trust me that much?” he asked and then blinked a couple of times, slowly bending against the wall until he was on his knees. He looked up and saw the Detective with a little disc in hand. 

“Sorry, man.” John said, slowly moving him inside the elevator, gently letting him lay down, and then walking out the little cabin, pushing the first floor's button, “Rudy will keep you safe.” 

“John- what have you-“ Dorian’s worried face before going off was the last thing the Detective saw before the doors closed and the elevator started to descend again. 

John made a step back and sighed, feeling even the thoughts cause pain into his brain, and before he could decide what to do next, he fell down, unconscious.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going on an adven- *remembers to post an update to not feel bad about not posting anything for another week* now, I'M GOING ON AN ADVENTURE!

“I don’t like this…” 

“You didn’t leave me much of a choice.” 

“ _He_ didn’t left me another choice. The DRN was already gone.” 

“And kidnap him instead was the best idea you could come up with?” 

“Listen, if you want to be in charge-“ 

“ _I am_ in charge. And I thought you wouldn’t make mistakes like this.” 

A nervous breath out, “He sure knows how to mess up all my plans.” 

“That’s what he’s usually good at.” 

Some steps, “He’s awake.” 

“Let me handle it.” 

“But you said-“ a brief silence, then “Fine. Then I’ll wait outside to-“ 

“No. Go back to the base.” 

“But we still-“ 

“Yvern. That’s an order.” 

Silence, then more steps walking away. 

John’s eyes were slightly open on a gray pavement and he could see slim, weak rays of light on it, coming from the right. He thought he just imagined the two women’s voices for a moment, but then one of them was echoing in the room again. And he remembered that voice.

“John.” The calm, sweet voice said.

He looked up but closed his eyes right away because of the terrible pain on the side of his head: that damn wound… Those _damn_ painkillers he refused to take. He tried to move his arms but they were tied behind, against the back of a metal chair. 

There was a moment of silence, then John took a deep breath and looked up, this time keeping his eyes open and he wished he didn’t. 

Anna Moore was sitting on another chair in front of him, her long black hair tied up into a ponytail, showing her serious, brown eyes. She was wearing a black leather jacket over a dark-red shirt and a pair of old-looking jeans ripped here and there. 

Her smooth dark skin, her soft lips… she was beautiful just like John remembered her and he hated it. 

“It’s nice to see you again,” Anna said after a moment. 

“I wish I could say the same.” 

She nodded sadly, “Last time we saw each other it didn’t end well…” 

“Matter of perspective. I was dying in an alley without a leg and the rest of my team murdered. I don’t remember any scratch on you.” 

“So you saw me?” 

John huffed a sarcastic smile, “Fuck you, Anna. And I mean it. No jokes.” 

She sighed, “It was a bad time to know each other, John.” 

“Oh, I’m sure you’d planned everything long time before met me.” 

“There are a lot of things I regret about that time-“ 

“You don’t say…”

“but being with you is not one of them.” Her eyes betraying a bit of sadness. 

John smiled, a cold, ironic smile, “Free me then, so I can give you a hug.” 

“Please, you have to understand-“ 

“Understand what?” he cut her off, ignoring the constant flashes of pain from the wound, “You were giving information to InSyndacate from the beginning, you helped them planning that ambush- you almost killed me and _now_ you want to talk?” he tried to break free again, just because of his rage.

“If I’d tried to talk to you sooner, you would’ve listened to me?”

“No, and I don’t want to listen now either.” 

“You have to.” She said, then looked at the blood on the side of his face, “And I know you’re pain because of that wound. I can take care of it if you-“ 

“You try to come closer, Anna, just try.” He said, voice cold and angry as much as his glare. 

She stared at him for another moment, not really scared because of the threat, but she knew that the man was good at improvising, or he wouldn’t be there in the first place. “That car almost killed you the other day. I need you alive.” 

“Well, that’s something new, coming from you.” 

“Think whatever you want about InSyndacate John, but I’ve never wanted you dead. Not in the ambush, not in a car accident. Yvern wasn’t- she wasn’t supposed to be there. That’s what happen when they don’t listen to my orders…” 

John stared intently at her, “Oh, so you get promoted?” 

She didn’t answer.

“I bet InSyndacate knows how to keep the cool kids sticking with them.” 

Anna took a deep breath, “This is not InSyndacate, John. I’m not with them anymore. I quit after the ambush.” 

“Good for you.” 

“It’s the truth.” 

He just smiled ironically, looking around, “Whatever you say, Anne.” 

She huffed, “After all this time, you still remember that I hate being called that way?” 

“I’ve kept only the useful things… not sure if they were, honestly. I thought you were gone forever, maybe dead… that would’ve been nice.” 

Anna looked calmly at him, “Isn’t it exhausting? Trying to hate me more than you actually do?” 

John kept his lips closed in a tight line. 

She took another deep breath and moved the conversation forward, “Like Yvern told you already, we didn’t actually wanted you, we need to talk with your DRN. You would be allowed to be present, but-” 

“What an honor.” 

“But we need him, not you.” She continued with a serious face, “We know something is happening to him, and we know none of you is able to help him.” 

“And you can.” 

“Yes.” 

“Of course...” 

“We know more about him that you can imagine, John.” 

“Then enlighten me about what we missed.” 

Anna shook her head, “I have to discuss this with him.” 

“Well, that’s not going to happen anytime soon, so…” he shrugged. 

She sighed, back against the chair, “It was a smart move, turn him off and sent him away.” 

“I’m a cop, remember?” 

“Yeah… I remember.” Anna looked at him for a long moment, “You don’t have to trust me, but I can’t trust you either and tell you the entire story. Telling you that we’re not InSyndacate was already too much to share.” 

“You think I’ll change my mind just because you said one more lie?” 

Anna’s glare became nervous, “You think you’re the only one that lost something because of them?” 

“You want me to show you my list?” 

She passed a hand over her face and turned it to show something: a robotic eye was now between her fingers. 

John blinked, surprised, despite he tried to hide it. He looked at the eye and then at the black hole in her face. 

“This is how InSyndacate handles with people that want to leave.” Anna said, looking at her own eye, “You say you don’t want to work with them anymore, and there’s a bullet ready for you.” She placed it back on the empty orbit and blinked a couple of times to test it before looking back at him. “I’m showing you this because I need you to understand that InSyndacate have nothing to do with me. We are not yours or Dorian’s enemy.” 

“You know his name.” John deadpanned. 

Anna nodded, “We were checking on you both for the past year.” 

“Amazing.” 

“John, please. We know he is malfunctioning. We can help him.” 

“Sure. Now you want to help your ex-boyfriend’s synthetic. That doesn’t sound suspicious at all.” 

“You don’t know what is happening to him.” 

“And of course you can’t tell me. You really think I’m stupid or something? Dorian is not going to talk with you. End of the story.” 

Anna sighed, “He’s searching for you already. We just have to wait for him to come to us.” 

John tightened his fists against the back of the chair, “If you try to do something to him-“ 

“We want to help.” 

“He don't need your help!” 

“Because you’re going to save him?” She replied, stubborn just like he was, “You’re actually doing something good for him aside confusing and scaring him more than he already is?” 

John didn’t looked down, but couldn’t answer either. “What is happening to him?” 

“I can’t tell you.” She said, looking honestly frustrated now, “I promised to tell no one about this. Not until everything will be over.” 

“What will be over? Anna, this is- first Dorian, and now you… I need to know what is happening or I’ll be the one going crazy.” 

She looked like she was actually thinking about it, then stood up, “When he’ll be here, I’ll explain to both of you.” She saw him shook his head looking away, “John, let me take care of that wound. I have something for the pain. Let me help you.” 

Those same words could sound full of affection coming from Dorian- coming from an android, but coming from Anna they just sounded like a cruel joke. “If you have nothing else to say, then you can go tell Yvern that she need some training about disguise.” 

Anna stared at him a bit more before turn around and left the room, closing the metal door behind her. 

John kept his eyes on the floor, still angry- still furious about the course of events he couldn’t control anymore, but he knew one thing for sure: he wouldn’t be the bait to get Dorian in there. 

 

Some hours later, John’s head was bending down over his chest, unmoving and silent. 

The metal door opened and a young man stared at him from the doorstep, unsure, a hand over the gun placed on his hip. “Hey.” He called, but the Detective didn’t answer. He kept staring until he noticed a little dark stain behind the prisoner, on the floor, under his hands. “Shit.” He quickly moved behind him, looking worried at the blood that was pouring slowly from his wrist injured from the handcuffs. “I need some bandages here!” he called outside while unlocking them and then closing them again on the front of the police officer. Just when they clicked locked, those two hands together punched him in the face, sending him down on the floor. 

John stared at his motionless form for a moment, feeling terribly weak. He moved the handcuffs and sighed: he had planned to fake being unconscious, but he actually fell asleep, waking up just in time to hear the handcuffs being closed around his wrist again. With another sigh, he unsteadily stood from the chair, glad that his synthetic leg was working, and moved to search for the little key that fell somewhere on the dark pavement but before he could do that, there were footsteps approaching. 

An MX, the same blond android that fought against John at the Police Station, arrived at the door and his cold, impassive glare found the man on the floor immediately. He moved to reach him.

John was standing attached to the wall next to the door, and when the MX moved inside the room, he silently slipped out behind him, pushing the door closed, having just the time to see a terrible, angry look on the MX’s face. Once the door was locked, the MX smashed against it from the inside with so much force that all the metal trembled. “No hard feelings.” The Detective commented, walking away faster than he could. 

The place looked like and old factory with gray corridors, ruined all over the edges and corners. There was no sound of any machine, though, even if the smell of oil, gas and plastic was strong. Pieces of wood or metal were covering all the windows, hiding the place from the outside light; there was only one free from any cover two floors below. 

John saw the city on the other side of the river, his city; he wasn’t as far away from it as he was fearing. That was one of the oldest sides of the city, where he had seen abandoned buildings waiting to be converted into something more useful, but being too close to the Wall didn’t encouraged people to invest in them. Big buildings like that one were usually painted just outside to look better, but inside was like a time travel into the past. 

John took a deep breath and looked down at his wrist: distracting the guard with his blood worked, but he had to cut the skin blindly, until he’d felt the blood flooding, with no idea of how bad the cut was. He needed to cover it before bleeding to death. 

Walking into a little room on the same floor, he found a rag that looked clean enough so, praying not to get any mortal infection, he places it around the wounded wrist, keeping it still under the handcuffs with a tired sigh. The pain from the wound on his head was still there, like someone poking at it all the time, repeatedly, but he forced himself to move forward. He knew there wouldn’t be another chance to escape. 

Hearing some voices, he slowed his pace and looked behind the corner: two man and two women were close to a table, discussing something, guns on their holsters. “I need a gun too, guys…” John murmured before saw them suddenly rise their heads and start running in his direction. 

John looked around and almost jumped inside an old, metal closet, fighting against the terrible smell that was inside of it until the enemies ran away and he no longer heard footsteps. He left the hiding spot coughing a bit, and then kept walking, reaching the table where they were a moment ago: there was a map, but he didn’t know that city, even if he spotted the black lines at the edges of it that should be the Wall, also some red dots over streets’ names he didn’t recognize… 

More voiced from upstairs, now angry and yelling orders. 

John looked back before quickly descend more stairs until he finally reached the first floor: a gigantic, empty warehouse with large windows on the highest spots of the walls and columns here in there. He could feel pieces of glass and dust under his boots while approaching another metal door that he found closed, “Damn it...” He hissed nervously, looking around, but there was nowhere to run. He sighed and pushed the door again, with all the strength he still had, and finally feel it moving a little. “Come… on…” he hissed again, pushing harder. 

“Stop right there!” someone screamed from afar, “Hands up!” 

“That’s- my line…” John murmured and kept pushing until there was enough space from him to squeeze outside while some bullets hit the metal. His foot got stuck, making him fall down under the dim light of the dawn, but he rolled on his back, get free and used the synthetic leg to smash the door closed once again just when people arrived there, screaming and swearing. 

“Not today, pals.” John breathing was itching. He stood and walked away from the place, a direction good as any because he had no idea where he was or where the exit from that parking lot was. 

Still with his wrists handcuffed, he saw a gate half open on the street and from there he saw a bridge he could use to cross the river and go back into the busy city. When he dared to smile a little, he looked back and instantly paled, jumping away just in time to avoid a metal door, too much similar the one he just closed, flying next to him and smashing against the said gate. 

John slowly turned on his back, on the ground, watching the blond MX walking fast straight against him. “Alright…” he murmured, standing up, “I know I probably hurt your feelings before, but- come on, since when MX have feelings?” He said, unsteady on his feet. The MX didn’t slowed down and John took some step back before running to the gate now blocked. He tried to climb the crumpled thing, but the MX grabbed his ankle and thrown him back away on the dusty floor. 

Rolling at least five times, feeling his head like a mixer full of stones working at maximum speed, John stayed down until his breaths were steadier. He tried to push up on his hands, sitting and watching the MX walking against him again, now slower. John looked back for a second, at the building, trying to stand, but there was no one of the group following: where were they? 

The MX grabbed him by the neck, calling him back to focus on the main problem. 

John grabbed his arm with both handcuffed hands but there was no way he could escape now. He groaned and started to fight a bit more when oxygen wasn’t enough anymore. 

The android was staring angrily at him, then frowned and looked back at the building, “That would be against the orders.” He said, voice cold and low. “ _His_ orders were different.” He added. 

John had no idea who he was talking to or about what, but his vision was becoming blurry. 

The MX looked back at him, but before he could do or say more, something hit him and made him fly against the gate just like the door before. 

John fell down on the ground with a groan and a half scream because he hit his head for the- he didn’t even know how many times anymore. Coughing, he tried to crawl away, vaguely aware of the blood line he was leaving on the ground. An explosion made him flinch and raise his arms to protect himself. There was some shooting and he felt something fly close to his head. After a moment, someone grabbed him by the shoulder and he tried to send a punch somewhere anyway. 

“John, it’s me.” 

He looked at Dorian’s tense and worried face decorated now with some scratches along with the usual blue lines, scanning his status. “W-where’s the MX?” 

“I lost him.” 

“We need him… Dorian we need to-“ 

“Don’t move. You’re hurt.” 

“There was people inside… maybe they’re still in there…” 

“The others are checking the building.” 

“Then go, I- we need them. There was…” 

“I’m staying with you.” 

“Damn it, do as I say!” John grabbed his jacket but the android was still scanning him, eyes glued on his. 

“John. I’m staying with you.” Dorian said again, unmoving.

John could only stare at him in frustration for a moment, before place a hand on his shoulder to balance himself and lower his pained head against him.

-.-.-.-

After what happened in the factory, John woke up without realizing falling asleep in the first place.

He opened his eyes blinking slowly, trying to understand if he was alive or not, but what he saw looked a lot like Rudy’s lab ceiling, so he was probably alive. Laying in a bed, he turned his head, watching the IV connected to his arm, feeling something around the head and the multiple screens everywhere working silently. 

Trying to talk, John found his voice stuck in his throat. He coughed a bit and just gave up, closing his eyes again until a hand gently placed on his shoulder.

“Thank God you’re awake…” Rudy sighed, clearly relieved, “Hold on.” He added, moving away, coming back with a glass of water, helping him take a sip. 

John was grateful for it but coughed anyway before laying down again, “I am alive…?” he wasn’t sure if that was a question or not, but Rudy nodded, “What happened…?” 

Rudy took a deep breath, standing next to the bed, “You’ve slept for almost a week.” He said and nodded sadly at the frown appearing on the Detective’s face, “Everyone thought that you were going to stay in a coma again.” 

John stared at him for another moment, but couldn’t find anything to say yet. 

Rudy continued, probably knowing that there were too many questions to be made and the man didn’t even know where to start, “You fall asleep in the ambulance after you and Dorian left the factory where he found you. He tried to keep you awake, but…” he shrugged, “You haven’t woke up since then. And along with what happened in the Police Station- and then in that factory… that didn’t helped your wound to heal at all.” He pointed to his head. “Luckily it didn’t get worst either, and you’re recovering good and fast. All considered.” 

“All considered.” John smiled slightly. 

Rudy’s glare was serious, but also worried, “Putting your life in danger like that was… it was really stupid, John.” 

He sighed, “That MX… They found it?” 

“No… not yet. And even with the few records we got, identify him was impossible. The videos are disturbed, and even when his face is barely visible, I got nothing. Apparently, he doesn’t exist in our database.” 

“But he was one of our MXs?” 

Rudy shook his head, “No. We have no idea where did he came from.” 

John started to remember the rest of what happened inside the Station, “Sandra was there… she’s alright?” 

“Yeah. The Captain just got a bump on her head.” 

“Those records… you saw what happened then? In the office?” He also remembered about the little chat with the MX about Dorian. 

“Fragments. The audio was distorted as well, sadly. I fear someone was around the precinct trying to cover what was happening inside. No one would have notice anything if Dorian wasn’t here, still online.”

“He’s ok?” 

“Yeah. Angry, but… fine.” 

John took a deep breath, “I turned him off… before they kidnapped me.” 

“I know. He told me. That’s why I said your decision was stupid.” 

“At least now we know your little toy works.” 

Rudy sighed, “Dorian asked me to destroy it at first… I think he felt betrayed, from both of us. He calmed down only when I said that it was for your safety, but of course, you had to use it on the wrong android.” He added, staring coldly at him. 

“I needed to keep him away.” 

“Trying to fight an MX by yourself? I have to remind you that MXs and DRNs are android, and you’re not?” 

The Detective tried to say something, then stopped and said, “They wanted him.”

Rudy blinked, unsure, “They- you mean the MX?” 

“The people controlling the MX, they were searching for Dorian.” He nodded, “They kidnapped me to get him.” 

Rudy’s shoulders dropped a bit, “That’s why you turned him off?” he saw the Detective shrug slowly, “But… but why they want Dorian?” 

“They know something’s wrong with him… they told me they can help.” 

“So these people know about his memories?” 

“Probably.” He took another deep, slow breath and looked back at him, “We got someone of them?” 

“No… the police found no one inside the factory.” 

“Figures…” 

“How they can know what is happening to Dorian?” Rudy murmured, “And why they want to help? How?” 

“They haven’t explained that much, sorry.” John sighed, “One thing that I know, it’s that my head still hurts like a bitch.” He added with pained eyes.

Rudy sighed and smiled a bit, “Let me take your medicines.” 

John stared at him searching for the pills, but once his eyes closed again, he was out in a second. 

 

A headache was what woke him up again, but this time he saw the daylight from the windows upstairs and he was alone in the laboratory.

John stayed in that numb state for some time, then slowly sit up on the bed and grabbed his head with both hands, as if that could help stop the dizziness. Carefully tapping over the new bandage around his head, he coughed to test his voice before calling for Rudy, but no one answered. Looking down at himself, he saw that he was wearing some old sweatpants and t-shirt from his own wardrobe… and the synthetic leg was missing. 

He sighed, looking around the lab. In the end, he moved out the bed and stood: once sure that he wasn’t going to fall, he cautiously made some step forward. After all that time, he still hated the feeling of depending on a piece of metal and silicon…

“John.” 

He jumped a bit, looking at the entrance where his partner was. “Hey.” 

“Why you’re up?” 

“Searching for my leg. Where is it?” 

“Rudy had to check on it. It was malfunctioning, if you forgot.” 

“I didn’t.” John murmured walking around to the bed, grabbing the desk when he was bending a bit too much to the right. “Did he found out why it wasn’t working?” 

“It looked fine, but he decided to change some connectors at the base.” 

“Alright…” John looked better at him: the DRN was still standing some step away, “You ok?” he asked because the android was failing at look unfazed this time: his eyes were looking nervously down, but when they moved up on him, they were ice cold. “I guess that’s a no.” 

“You think that after what happened, I can be ok?” Dorian said drily. 

“We are both alive.” He said, moving to the little sink attached to the wall. Washing his face never felt so good. 

“And that’s enough for you?” The incredulous voice of the DRN didn’t felt that good, though. 

John dried his face and looked back at him, now closer than before, “Yes. It could’ve end much worse-“ 

“I know. I was in the ambulance with you when you died for five seconds.” Dorian saw him blink, taken aback at those words. “Don’t pretend you didn’t know that.” 

“Rudy skipped that detail...” John said, looking at the bed for a moment, then back at him and the android looked so conflicted, probably not sure if still be angry at him or not. “Look, I’m sorry I make you worry, but I’m alright. Everything’s fine-“ 

“You sure about that?” 

“I am here, still breathing… and I understand you’re angry at me because I turned you off during the attack but-“ 

“I’m not.” 

“I know you are, and that’s ok. I know you hate people invading your space, but-“ John was suddenly cut off when the android grabbed him by the collar of his t-shirt, smashing him against the wall. 

“I’m not angry because you turned me off.” Dorian almost growled, “I’m angry because you did it when you needed me! Keep you safe it’s my job, and you sent me away without explaining what was going on. Without giving me the chance to help you!” 

John was still stuck in surprise by the aggression, so all he could do was staring back at him, blocked between the wall and an angry DRN, trying to keep his mind focused on what was happening and not on the persistent pain on the side of his head. 

“I know that I’m not fully functional right now, but if you can’t trust me about being able to protect you, you should just say it and ask for me to be decommissioned.” 

“It’s not about trust-“ 

“It’s all about trust! I told you everything, I didn’t want to have any more secrets with you, but that’s what you’re doing with me since I told you the truth.” 

“Well, sorry if all this is not exactly a routine for me-“ 

“That’s why I’m trying to help you!” 

“But I’m not the one in need of help.” John almost laughed because, really, all he was doing, it was to keep Dorian safe… apparently was the wrong approach, though.

“Really? You had an accident that almost killed you, and then you got kidnapped!” 

“I know that but I couldn’t ask you to-“ and John made the mistake to stop mid-sentence, trying to cover it shaking his head, “I was just trying to-“ 

“To keep me safe, rejecting my help.” Dorian said with a cold voice, “Why? Why you can’t tell me what’s going on?” 

John tried to move him away, but he pushed him against the wall again, “Dorian, that’s enough-“ 

“Tell me the truth.” 

“The truth is that I don’t need this whole situation to get any messier than this!” 

“And you think I don’t want the same? That I don’t wish it could be easier?” 

“It could be if you’d just listened to me and forget about those memories!” 

“I can’t!” Dorian pushed him a bit harder against the wall. “I can’t just _ignore_ them. A part of me wish I could do that, but the other part is screaming to understand them because I know they are important somehow, but if these memories keep putting you in danger… if you’re getting hurt because of them- because of me…” his voice lowered slowly into sadness. “John, the memories aren’t the problem. What is driving me crazy is losing what I have now. You are part of what I want to protect, and I’m failing.” 

John blinked, because that was all he could manage to do… because weren’t those the exact same words that he thought since day one? All he was doing, everything he did so far, was just to keep Dorian safe, and that meant to keep him away when John himself was all Dorian needed to keep his mind on the right track. He grabbed his wrists, “You’re not failing.” He said staring into his eyes, noticing a slight shade of green into the usual blue. 

“Then stop pushing me away.” Dorian said, “This is my burden, not yours, and I need to understand what is happening probably more than you do. If you still trust me, if you want to help me, don’t push me away.” 

They stared at each other for a moment, then John sighed, “Remember what you felt when you saw me on the ground, in the middle of the street?” he asked and saw him nod, “I feel that way every day since you had the first memory, and it just keep growing worst and worst each day. That’s why I wanted to keep you away from- from anything that could activate something else.” 

Dorian’s eyes were blue again, and there was affection into them now. “You’re scared something bad will happen to me.” 

John took a deep breath to calm himself but stayed silent. 

“I am too.” The android added, letting him go, “And I’ve never felt scared all my life.” 

_How fear felt like the first time?_ John couldn’t remember, but instinctively moved forward to caught him in a slowly tightening hug and, after a moment, he felt Dorian’s hands on his back. They were trying so hard to keep each other safe, trying to fight alone, but truth was that it wasn’t working for anyone. 

“I’m sorry, John.” Dorian said over his shoulder, 

The Detective closed his eyes, trying to put himself together, then slowly pushed back and looked at him with a serious face, “We’re gonna fix this, we will.” He sighed, “Any idea how?” he asked with a resigned shrug. 

Dorian thought for a moment, “One step at the time?” 

John snorted, but smiled a bit, “Sounds good.” 

 

“Sorry, I think I get it wrong.” 

“John is with me. We’re going back to his apartment.” 

Rudy’s little pause was pretty eloquent. 

“He’s alright. I’ll watch over him.” 

“You know, I can track you down from here...” 

Dorian sighed, “Yes, but he asked me to try anyway.” 

A sigh, “Alright, fine. I don’t want to know anything else, but you’re responsible for him.” 

“I know. Don’t worry.” Dorian said, this time with more confidence, and ended the call, moving out the car. 

John was in front of the destroyed gate, staring at the signs of fight still visible in the parking lot of the abandoned factory he escaped a week before. He looked back at the android when he heard him approaching, “He didn’t fall for it, did he?” 

“Not even for a second, but we’re good for now.” 

“There’s not even a guard here anymore.” John looked back at the place. 

Dorian noticed his tension, “We can come back here tomorrow, with backups.” 

John took a deep breath, “No... A DRN will be enough to keep me safe.” He said with a tired grin and saw him nod with a light smile. “I doubt they’ll be so stupid to be back in here, anyway. Unless they know I’m awake and they’re waiting for us, in that case…” he shrugged, “I guess we’ll finally talk.” 

“You think they can help me?” Dorian asked when they were at the entrance: the door wasn’t there anymore like the detective remembered. 

“That’s what they keep saying.” 

“But you don’t believe them.” 

“I don’t know…” John looked in the big empty room immersed in a dim light coming from the large windows. He still wasn’t sure that telling Dorian about those people and their intentions was the right thing to do, but he couldn’t hide it anymore. Trying to make things better, everything was going to hell, so he told him everything during the ride to the factory. Everything, but one thing.

Dorian was scanning the building; “I don’t see anyone, human nor android.” He said, then follow upstairs, watching him stop in front an old table. 

“The police didn’t find anything?” John asked. 

“From the report I got, they found only some weapons.” 

“There was a map here… I should’ve take it before running away.” John sighed, slowly massaging over the bandage. 

“Maybe wasn’t important.” 

_Or maybe it was_ , John thought looking around, “It wasn’t a map of the city. It was another place.” He said, walking upstairs. 

“Another place?” Dorian asked, perplexed. 

“There was no name on it. None of the streets looked familiar.” They reached another floor, and John slowed down watching another metal door, this one bent from the inside. He took a deep breath, staying at the entrance, “I was in here.” 

“I know.” Dorian said standing next to him, “We found your blood.” He added. 

“Right…” he said, checking his bandaged wrist. Giving a better look inside the room, he spotted a big, circular shadow on the floor. The shadow of his own blood.

“You couldn’t find a better way to distract them, could you?” Dorian commented coldly. 

“Hey, it worked… and no, was that or try to fight an MX with my bare hands. Again.” 

“Yeah, and we know that’s not an option.” 

“Sorry for being made of flesh and bones, man.” John huffed, sitting on the chair again. He looked around and then at the entrance, almost expecting to see Anna appearing. 

Dorian was next to him and noticed his glare. He followed it, then looked back at him, “They did something to you?” 

“Huh? No, they just asked me to call you, to bring you here.” 

“And you refused.” 

“I’m not used to play the bait.” He said, slowly dropping his head into his hand. 

“You ok?” 

“Yeah…” He breathed deeply and then said, “There’s one thing I haven’t told you yet.” He heard him move in front of him. “When I woke up in here, there was the same woman that called me the first times, Yvern, with another person- another woman that I know. Her name is Anna… my ex-girlfriend.” 

Dorian frowned, “The same person you said was present during the ambush where you lost your leg?” 

“Yes.” 

“And that was working with InSyndacate…” Dorian murmured, confused, “But you said that these people are not part of it.” 

“I said that that’s what they say- what Anna said.” John looked up at him, back against the chair, “That she’s not part of InSyndacate anymore, that she lost an eye trying to leave them… and that she knows about you and want to help.” 

“But she didn't tell you how.” 

“She skipped that little detail during our friendly chat,” John said with some irony. “She didn’t kill me, she didn’t even threaten me… she just needed me to get to you.” 

Dorian thought for a second, “You think she said the truth? About not working with InSyndacate anymore?” 

“She could’ve just kill me and ask you to come here…” John shook his head, looking down, “I don’t know. Maybe I should’ve listened to Yvern days ago.” 

“Even if you don’t trust them?” 

“What choice we have now? We still have no idea how to fix your memory problem… maybe they can stop them- or tell us something we don’t know...” He stared at the DRN for a moment, “Dorian.” 

He blinked and focused on him. 

“What you want to do?” 

“You’re asking me?” 

“Those are your memories. We’re all talking about you and what to do next… maybe listen to your thoughts about it will change something.” 

Dorian stared at him for a long moment, then said, “I’m still not sure we can trust them.” 

John couldn’t hide completely his surprise, “You think so?” 

“They didn’t threaten you, but I saw what happened at the Police Station that night.” 

John nodded slowly, “I think I haven’t said this yet, but… sorry for turning you off that time.” 

“It’s alright.” 

“You sure?” 

“You did it to protect me. I understand now that your affection for me it’s stronger than I thought.”

John saw him grin and he huffed a laugh, looking down, “Maybe you’re right.” 

“But you won’t do it again,” Dorian added. 

“Yes, sir.” The detective nodded. “You know, through all the people I was expecting to see at that door, an ex-girlfriend was the last one.” 

“You still love her?” 

John blinked and looked up, raising his eyebrows, “That’s the famous empathy of the DRNs?” 

“Sorry, I… I thought you were going to say something like that.” 

“No, I wasn’t.” He said, watching the android staring in silence. “I mean, sure, I was surprised at first, and then angry, but more than that…” he shrugged, “Aside that, I felt nothing.” He couldn’t stop himself from thinking about Rudy’s words about DRN’s reacting to good feelings, like love. 

“It’s possible for humans to stop feeling something for someone?” Dorian asked after a moment. 

John sure _felt_ that, like a stab in the chest. 

Dorian noticed the change in his face because he added a low “Sorry.” 

John stood up, looking back at the room, then at him again, “No, you’re right. Usually, that’s impossible, but sometimes people change, and if they change enough, they become like strangers. It feels like they’re not the person you loved anymore… Sad thing is, the more you cared, the more is going to hurt.” 

Dorian was staring at him again with that look of him, a mix of curiosity, affection, and confusion. “You cared a lot about her.” 

“Yeah, but I already knew she wasn’t the same person I fell in love with anymore. You know, since when she tried to kill me with a grenade.” John said with irony, moving to the exit and slowly bent on the side. 

Dorian stepped forward to catch him, “You alright?”

“Just tired.” 

Dorian looked worried at him, “Home?” 

He nodded, “Home.” 

 

He probably fell asleep during the trip back to the apartment, because when he opened his eyes again, he was lying on his bed, only the light in the kitchen on… and Dorian, sitting outside in the balcony. 

John casually looked at the clothes he was still wearing before stood and slowly walked outside. “What you’re doing here?” he asked but noticed that he was staring blankly at the city’s lights. “Dorian?” he called placing a hand on his shoulder. 

Dorian blinked and looked up at him. “John.” 

“You ok?” 

“Yes. You should be in bed. You need to rest.” 

“I was. Why you’re out here?” 

“I wanted to see the city.” He said, looking at it again, “I always have to recharge inside the lab when I’m at Rudy’s.” 

John noticed only then the wire that was passing under a little space of the window left open, disappearing in the DRN’s neck. “…Ok then.” 

“Is it a problem?” 

“No, you- you can charge whenever you want…” there was something in Dorian’s eyes, his face seemed to hide some kind of sadness, something like… resignation. “You sure you’re ok?” 

Dorian stared at him, smiling slightly, “I appreciate your concern.” 

“That’s not an answer. You got another memory?” he asked and the android shook his head, “Then what?” 

“I’m just trying to keep my system in order. Lots of things happened in the last weeks.” 

A question hit the detective at those words, “Something happened in the week while I was out?” and he saw Dorian look down, “I should’ve asked before.” John sighed, sitting down next to him. 

“Nothing happened.” Dorian said more seriously, “I just had time to think about my situation.” 

“And?” 

“And maybe I should try to do as you said.” 

“Are you actually saying that I was right and you were wrong?” 

Dorian smiled patiently, looking back at him, “I’m saying that focus myself on these memories is pointless if they’re leading us nowhere.” 

“I thought that they were important to you…”

“My partner staying alive is also important.” He said calmly, “They’re not worth you getting hurt.” 

“I can take it.” 

“But I don’t want you to.” 

John was ready to say something ironic at that, but Dorian’s face was serious, so he took a deep breath instead, “So you want to give up?” 

“We’ll wait for more information.” 

“Talking with Anna and her team?” 

“You don’t trust them, but you think she was honest about not being part of InSyndacate anymore.” 

“Maybe.” 

“You think she will call again?” 

“Probably she will. Rudy said that that mansion isn’t in the city, so I guess Anna is our best and only chance… and maybe I won’t be tied up on a chair again.” He snorted. 

“I’ll be there to save you this time, don’t worry.” 

“Don’t go all hero on me now…” John commented, standing up and walking back inside. 

Dorian watched him for a moment, and then looked back at the city. 

 

When John woke up for the second time, was because of the phone ringing. He pushed up on his elbows slowly, looking around in the dark place before leaving the bed and reach for the phone, “Hello?” He wasn’t wearing his synthetic leg… that was charging in its usual place.

“John, where are you?” came Rudy’s voice. 

“Home?” he said grabbing the leg to put it on, “Why you called in the middle of the night?” 

“Night?” 

John heard the confused tone, so he looked at the time and frowned. 

“John, it’s almost midday. I called you because I was waiting for both of you coming here for your regular checkups but-“ 

John didn’t heard the rest because he lowered the phone to open the windows and the daylight made him groan and look down. He blinked until the vision wasn’t painful: Dorian wasn’t outside this time. Turning, he couldn’t find him inside the apartment either. “Dorian?” he called, walking into the living room, then remembered about the phone and put it back to his ear. 

“-and I don’t know what to do.” 

“Rudy- Rudy, Dorian didn’t wake me up, he’s not here. Maybe he’s coming there now.” 

“You haven’t heard a word of what I just said, did you?” 

“Yes- no, sorry.” 

“I can’t call Dorian and I can’t track him down either. If he’s not with you, then where is he?” 

John stopped for a moment, still looking around. The windows closed, Dorian’s expression the night before, what he said… 

“John…” Rudy sounded worried now, “You don’t think that he left alone, right?” 

_“My partner staying alive is also important… They’re not worth you getting hurt.”_

John closed his eyes, cursing at himself, “I think he did.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back and ready to finish my editing on this train of feels. Actually, I'm happy I haven't posted it before because a lot of edits was made again and this chapter kind of deserve it so, hope it's better now.   
> Take a deep breath and if you need some music, I kept "Where The Light Goes" by Josh Kramer/feat. Tina Guo in loop during all the last check up.

“He’s a police android, and you’re one of the best hackers in the country. How’s possible that you can’t track him down?” 

“First of all, I’m not a _hacker_ … not anymore,” Rudy said sat at his desk, “even if you don’t believe me. Second, there would be multiple explanations for that. Maybe they turned him off, or they’re covering the signal somehow… if your girlfriend really got him, of course.” 

“Ex-girlfriend. _If_ she got him?” 

“Well, he could- maybe Dorian blocked the signal himself.” 

John just stared at him in silence, then looked around in the lab, feeling the headache creeping somewhere in his brain. “Why he should block the signal? Why he left now that we were ready to talk with Anna?” he asked in the end, turning again to face the doctor, “He was angry when I keep him out of this, and now he’s doing the same.” 

Rudy sighed, “It’s not about revenge. Dorian have no grudge against you.” 

“You sure about that?” 

“From what you told me about InSyndacate’s plan- even if they say they’re not InSyndacate, I think Dorian just want to know the truth without put you in danger again.” 

“What am I, ten? We’re both cops, we deal with this kind of things daily.” 

“Now it’s different.” 

“Why?” 

“You know why.” 

“You mean because of the memories? They’re just that: memories.” 

“But they’re changing Dorian. Maybe not too much to ring any bell yet, but we know he was a little different after a memory appeared. You saw it too. His actions, his way to talk- his way to think. I know it’s sad and- and scary to say, but he was changing... and trying hard not to at the same time.” 

John could only pretend that it wasn’t true. “Ok, but he was- he’s still Dorian, despite everything he didn’t turn into a crazy monster.” 

“No, but that’s the only thing I can think of that could scare him enough to leave you behind. To leave us behind.” Rudy said, looking down. “You saw him after he attacked you the first time, and he was terrified that it could happen again. Then you got injured, and kidnapped…” 

“But it wasn’t his fault!” John retorted, and the other could only look down in silence. Shaking his head, he continued, “We have to find him. We can’t- I can’t just let him be. I need to know what Anna is planning.” 

“John…” 

“Isn’t just about Dorian now, it’s personal. If Anna is involved, she’s mine.” 

“But you’re not who she’s searching for.” Rudy said in a low voice, pleading with his eyes to be still alive after saying that. 

“Yes, Rudy, I know. And she played with me more than enough.” John said coldly, grabbing his jacket, “Keep searching for him, ok? Cameras, alarms, anything that could tell us where he’s heading.” 

“John…” 

“What?” 

“If we won’t get any contact from Dorian today, I can’t keep him covered forever. Not in a situation like this.” He explained, hating himself to have to say it.

“I’ll find him.” John said, staring seriously at him, “You keep looking.” And with that, he left the laboratory. 

Rudy stared at the detective walking away, almost calling him back because that bandage through his hair was a clear reminder that last time he decided to act by himself, things didn’t go well… but he stayed silent and looked back at the screen, keep scanning the city and searching for any trace of Dorian. 

 

_Why you need to search for them alone? Why now it’s you not trusting me?_ were only two of all the questions John asked himself wandering through the city. He asked about his partner to half of the Police Station - Detective Paul included. He even tried talking with some MX, just to give up after few words. Back outside, he asked for Dorian in the grocery shop, in the Thai restaurant… he even saw an old DRN checking a system outside a bank, but at the moment was too painful to even look at it, figures talk with him… and still, no one was able to help. 

All day calling people, calling Rudy, calling Dorian himself, getting no answer, and his nerves were going to snap. 

Was almost evening when John finally stopped in front of a coffee shop: he had to sit down, eat a sandwich and drink a big, full bottle of water only because he knew that he need it. 

Rudy finally called, just to say that Dorian was still missing. 

John nodded, say thanks before closing the call and take a deep breath. 

Maybe Dorian would be back that night... maybe with the information they all were hoping for, and maybe with a solution about the memories. The DRN himself said that he didn’t trust those people, not after what they did to his human partner… 

_Then why…?_

John put down the bottle on the table, looking at the buildings… Frowning, he suddenly thought about one, specific place. 

 

In less than twenty minutes, he was in Tamara Wade’s apartment once again, now with some less furniture and personal stuff around. 

“Some of her friends came to collect something,” the landlady said, looking around the apartment, “mostly pictures… and some objects left from the police.” She sighed, studying him, “You still don’t know what happened to her?” 

John shook his head, “We’re still working on it.” 

“I hope you’ll find who killed that poor girl. She was so nice…” the woman sighed and left the keys on the table in the living room, “Close the door when you’re done, Detective, if you don’t mind.” 

He waited for her to be gone and then looked around. The living room was in order; the kitchen clean, no sign of tea on the floor anymore. He walked to the other rooms until he was back into the bedroom: the big crashed window now completely repaired. 

John sighed, not sure why he was back in that apartment. He knew that Dorian wasn’t there and that Valerie already checked every corner of the place, but still… 

_Everything started here_ John thought and for the first time, he wondered if Tamara’s death, Anna’s plans, and Dorian’s memories could be connected… but how in the world they could be? The only common things were that a woman killed Tamara that day and that he and Dorian were called to investigate the case, but he didn’t get any memory there. Did Anna kill Tamara Wade? Why? There was nothing showing that the two women even knew each other… 

“Where’s your old, crazy DRN when you need him?” John huffed nervously, feeling the headache still creeping upon him. He slowly walked back into the kitchen, watching the mirror covered with fewer pictures now, and kept heading for the exit… but then he stopped. 

Walking back to the mirror, the saw there was a picture turned around. He took it and flipped it: the photograph showed the shadows of three persons on the grass, each one making some kind of funny pose, but there was also a big house ahead: an old looking mansion. 

After a moment, downstairs, the landlady almost let out a scream when the Detective appeared running down the stairs like a bull, “S-something’s wrong?” 

“This place! You know where this place is?” he asked, putting the picture against her nose. 

She blinked in surprise, but grabbed the photo, studying it, “I don’t think so, no. It looks pretty old…”

“Tamara ever talked about it?” 

“Not with me. She was polite, but not really chatty about her own business… it should be easy to find, though. I doubt there’s a lot of houses like this one anymore- ah, Detective, what about the keys?!” 

John wasn’t listening anymore. He looked down at the picture again when he was outside the building: that was the same mansion they saw in Dorian’s memories. 

 

“RUDY.” 

The poor doctor flinched and the glasses fell from his nose into the chest of one of his android prototype. “D-don’t do that. No. That’s not-“ 

“Play the second file.” 

“Huh?” 

“The second file- Dorian’s memory.” 

“Oh… ok… why?” Rudy grabbed the tablet and after a moment handed it to him. He watched the Detective staring intently at the video until he gave it back: it was in pause on the frame showing the mansion, between gray and black lines and some mist.

John then showed the photograph, “Close enough?” 

Rudy took it, surprised. Looking at both the images, he nodded, “It’s the same place- I mean, it could be… it probably is. Where did you get the picture?” 

“In Tamara Wade’s apartment.” 

Rudy frowned, “She’s connected with the memories? With your- with Anna?” 

“We didn’t find anything strange in her history, but she has to be. Can you try finding the place again?” 

“Ah- sure.” Rudy turned to the computer and started to work on it, “I mean, the image is clearer now but you better keep your hope low.” 

John looked at the system busy in the research. “That building must be somewhere…” 

“I sure haven’t seen it before.” Rudy murmured, arms crossed on his chest, staring at the data flowing in the computer, “It could be anywhere…” 

“No, it can’t be.” John said, pacing around the lab, “That photo was here, Anna is back here and Dorian keep working in this city since he woke up. It can’t be just a coincidence.” _It can’t be somewhere else_ John said to himself. He walked to the cabin where Dorian used to recharge, watching the map of the city attached to the wall. 

_Somewhere else…_

John frowned and then looked at the edges of the map. “Outside the Wall…” 

“Pardon?” 

“Did you checked outside the Wall?” 

Rudy blinked, “Outside the Wall?” 

“You have a map of the outside zone. I know you have it.” 

“No, that- that’s just-“ 

“You’ve sent your butterfly all over the Wall, you showed me how you used them to see on the other side-“

“Yes, and most of them didn’t even get more than ten meters away from the Wall.” 

“But not all of them.” 

Rudy stared at him with a stressed expression: he knew the Detective wasn’t going to give up, “What I have is not a map, it’s just- an idea of the morphologic structure about _a part_ outside the Wall, a very limited part. I don’t have a detailed map of all the outside zone.” 

“The structure of that mansion is clear now. If your butterflies saw it, we’ll find it.” 

Rudy was clearly regretting having show off the secret purpose of the robotic butterflies, “Even if we can, that’s-“ 

“Do it.” 

“Listen to me, even if that mansion is there-“ he saw him staring at him and probably not even listening, just waiting. He sighed and worked on the keyboard until the data started to flow and he stared at them shaking his head, “I’ll need a new job…” 

John moved next to him, gazing at the new map appearing on the big screen, “This is it… I saw part of this map in the factory,” he said, pointing some of the streets, “There was a red dot here and-“ a beep interrupted him and a white dot appeared right under his finger, making him blink in surprise.

“Oh my God…” Rudy murmured, back against the chair, “It’s there… it’s actually there.” 

John swallowed hard, “Where? How far from the Wall?” he asked and Rudy zoomed out on the map: it was East of the Wall, not too far, but not too close either. 

“Around… seven kilometers. One of the butterflies flew that far…” Rudy said in awe, then shook his head, “I think it’s time to call backups.” 

“No… no, they- the Captain will ask for more explanations and I don’t have time for that.” 

Rudy looked back at him, “Are you trying to say that you want to cross the Wall?” he asked, but the Detective didn’t answer, staring at the map, “John, that’s- that Wall is there for a reason.” 

“They keep saying that the monsters are out there since I was a kid. I haven’t seen any and I bet you haven’t either.” He snorted, “It’s just the part of the world they want to keep in the dark to hide the failures.” 

Rudy was staring intently at him, “That’s what you think about it?” 

“I’ve never trusted those stupid stories.” 

The Doctor sighed, not sure about _how much_ worried he needed to be anymore, “Even if that’s the same mansion, because we can’t be completely sure from this map... you just want to go there investigating?” 

“Why not?” 

“Because it’s on the other side of the Wall!” 

“And it’s the only lead we have so far!” John retorted, “That mansion was in Dorian’s memories, in Tamara’s apartment and now we know that it still exist- and it was pointed out on Anna’s map. You really think all this is just a coincidence?” 

“Maybe not, but what if that house didn’t mean anything at all? What if is just a trap for you? And for Dorian? John, this is-” 

“I can’t wait for things to get worst.” He shot back, angrier that he intended to, “If I can stop it- if there’s Anna or InSyndacate behind this, I have to stop them. With or without Dorian.” 

Rudy stared at him without knowing what to do, “John, I know I can’t stop you but… please, for once, think about it. Crossing the Wall it’s not- I don’t want to lose you too.” 

John looked at the map, “I have to do it.” 

Rudy shook his head, looking down. “Ok… but I’ll help you,” he said after a moment, and the Detective looked back at him, “I promise, I’ll help you with everything, just… wait another day. Just one day. Maybe Dorian will be back- maybe he’ll try to contact us.” He saw him consider his words, “And at least we’ll have time to prepare for your suicide mission.” He finished with a sad voice.

John took a deep breath, “Ok. You’re right. We better think twice about this.” He saw the other smile a bit, nodding in relief, but he couldn’t do the same, looking back at the map. 

 

That night, alone in his apartment, John was staring at the city from the balcony, hearing the traffic from the streets, the lights, and the dark shadow of the Wall in the distance. 

They had thought about Doctor Vaughn escaping the city to go on the other side of the Wall, and how stupid and crazy that idea was to everyone… but what if something was happening in the dark zone? InSyndacate wanted to destroy the Wall, after all. To let something enter the city, or to give the people _locked_ inside a different choice? 

John never doubted about being on the safe side of the Wall, but he never actually asked himself how it could be living on the other side. There could be something better out there? Based on how the dark zone looked like and what they knew about it, that sure was hard to believe… but if the enemy was there, why keep waiting for them to attack? Why don’t make the first move, or at least see what was happening there? 

John took a deep breath, touched the bandage around his head, and walked back inside. He stared at Dorian’s charger, empty and useless. Thinking about Dorian leaving to investigate on his own still hurt, and he still couldn’t completely believe that that wasn’t some kind of revenge for what he did a week before.

Looking down at his phone, he found no calls or messages so he turned it off and left it on the kitchen table. Then he wore his jacket, checked the gun and walked straight to open the door, stopping there in a mix of surprise and worry. “Rudy.” 

“Going somewhere?” he asked, looking intently at him from the doorstep. 

“Huh… no, I…” 

The doctor observed him up and down, “You were going to climb the Wall bare hands and taking just a gun with you?” 

John looked a bit offended, “I also have gum.” 

Rudy sighed and walked inside, placing a backpack on the couch, then looked back at the man, and down at the bag again, “There’s… there’s a knife in there, some ammo and a phone- my creation, there won’t be any traceable signal so you can use it. Always _if_ it will work on the other side.” He opened the backpack and took one of his butterflies, “I put some of these in there too. They are programmed to guide you to the mansion, so you won’t get lost, then they should fly back home. Hopefully.” 

John slowly moved close to him, looking at the backpack, then at him with a serious face. 

“There’s also a flashlight, some water, and a sandwich.” Rudy added, “And… I think that’s all. I couldn’t find more in so little time, and I was afraid that you were gone already, so… ah!” he quickly closed the backpack, “There’s also the map of the zone you have to cross to reach the mansion, in case the butterflies stop working, you know. They shouldn’t- they won’t… but better safe than sorry. I also found a decent spot where you can cross and wrote down the hours of the patrols in that area. I have a ladder ready for you there.” 

John blinked, “A ladder?” 

“Yes. It’s… it’s hidden, don’t worry. You’ll see.” He crossed his arms, staring at the equipment in front of them, “If Dorian will come back after you left, he’s going to kill me.” 

“Tell him that that’s what you get abandoning your partner.” John said, then grabbed his shoulder, “Thanks, Rudy.” 

“I’m helping you go outside the Wall and probably face a terrifying death. Don’t- don’t thank me.” He said, nervously shaking his head. 

John smiled, then said, “Wait until dawn. If I won’t be back yet, call the Captain. Tell her what happened, what I did… tell her that I forced you to cooperate.” 

“I’m not going to-“ 

“You will. She won’t believe you, but that’s just to keep you safe. I’ll need a friend outside the jail she will throw me into when she’ll find out about this mess.” 

Rudy took a breath to calm down, looking worried at him, “What about Dorian?” 

_What about Dorian, indeed_ John sighed, “If he came back, try to keep him here. Tell him that I want him to stay with you until I’ll be back.” 

“You know he’ll come after you anyway…” 

“I know, that’s why I asked you to _try_.” He sighed, “Just tell him to be careful if he really wants to join me.” 

Rudy nodded slowly, “What if he won’t come back?” 

John’s face hardened at that. “Keep searching for him. If you see none of us coming back… time to call in the backups, like you said. The Captain will take care of it.” 

“Better late than never.” Rudy sighed, “I really hope they didn’t get him.” 

“In that case, they will tell me where he is.” 

Rudy thought for a second, “You don’t think they took him outside, do you?” 

John already thought about that possibility that evening, “If he’s there, we’ll come back together.” 

Rudy nodded and suddenly hug him, “Until dawn. Don’t forget. And… be careful.” He said and let him go and left the apartment without looking back.

John smiled a bit before grabbing the backpack, checking everything inside of it and around the house before taking a deep breath and left as well. 

 

He reached the spot Rudy wrote down on the map: it was a piece of the Wall mostly hidden in the dark from the highway above. When there was no one passing by, John walked at the base of the wall made of concrete and metal, then he looked up: after a moment, he noticed a little ladder of transparent plastic unfurl from the top of the Wall right above his head. He smiled, looked around again and then grabbed it, starting to climb: the shadow kept him in the dark until he was sitting on top of the Wall, one leg on each side of the fortification, and there he saw two little spider-robots collecting the ladder back up and let it unfurl on the other side. 

John shook his head in disbelief then looked at the dark, silent and apparently dead place that was waiting for him. He looked at the bright, alive city once again before taking a slow breath and start to descend on the other side of the Wall, _I’m coming for you, Anne._

 

From his lab, Rudy saw the man disappearing over the top of the Wall and sighed worryingly. He then moved to click something, reactivating the cameras around that same spot. Apparently, everything worked fine. No alarms detected.

“I’m already regretting this.” He murmured to himself before hearing a beep from another computer. 

Rudy stood and checked on it: he blinked in confusion, reading the message two, three times before straightening his back, “Oh no…” he said in an incredulous whisper and looked back at the screen still showing the spot where John was gone.

.-.-.-. 

_I shouldn’t be here_ was the first thing John Kennex thought once he stepped on the ground on the other side of the Wall. That was the dark zone, the forbidden area, and he was there completely illegally. Not even a cop could avoid prison from something like that, but he wasn’t going to go back.

Anna was there, he knew she was, and with some luck, she was waiting and planning who knows what in that old, damn mansion he needed to find. 

Looking around, John surprisingly realized that he wasn’t actually scared of being there. He knew that the nearest area to the Wall was clear because all the buildings too close were destroyed during the construction. There were kilometers of concrete, ruins, dust and the few example of nature that could grow in a place like that. In the dim light was hard to tell how much nature was around, but he saw some little bushes here and there, even the shadow of an old, dead tree in the distance… or maybe was just a mass of metal of some sort. 

For the rest, it was exactly as he thought the other side would be: the abandoned part of the world. 

No monsters, no aliens running for his flesh and blood, just an unsettling silence and darkness he wasn’t used to anymore. And the air… the atmosphere was sure different. If the city vibrates of life, lights and technologic creations, the other side of the Wall was just coldness… an emptiness that John almost felt like complete indifference to the shining city. If really people still lived there, they sure weren’t fighting to come in at the moment.

_Maybe because they already can do that_ John thought, taking a deep breath. The air was cold and slightly different… Not a bad smell, however dissimilar from the air in the modern city, all plastic and metal. The Detective wondered if that was the smell of the real, old world. Maybe he forgot about it… other people inside the city probably didn’t even knew about it. 

With a sigh of relief about being able to breathe out there in the first place, John saw the ladder disappearing again above the Wall. Crouching, he searched inside the backpack and took two butterflies. Thoughtfully, he put one in his pocket and clicked the head of the other one to turn it on. 

The little robotic creature spread its blue wings, moved them and then start flying around him. 

“Here we are, buddy. A Detective and…” he stood and waved a hand at the little thing, “a butterfly.” He sighed, putting the backpack on again, “Lead the way. To the creepy, old mansion, if you don’t mind.”

John saw it fly around for another moment, then silently and calmly fly forward and stop when it was around ten steps ahead, flashing its wings with deep blue light repeatedly, like a warning to follow that way. The low blue light was the only sign of life in the darkness. 

John stayed close to the butterfly, ready to use another one. He knew that the signal from the lab could get lost at any moment, but the little robot was still flying in an exact direction, so he kept following. Yet, it was so weird to be in a world without lights, cars running everywhere, androids at every corner, people everywhere, and music and voices… 

Climbing from a not-too-deep hole, but large enough to take half of the street, John thought about the last time he was camping, before the ambush, before the coma and losing a leg, there the silence was different from the one he was experiencing now. Into the dark zone, the silence, the feeling of being alone, was more real. 

“This place is- already driving me crazy.” John snorted, jumping down in the street again, the butterfly waiting for him. “Sorry, I don’t have cute, little wings on my back.” He looked around, then took the map from the inside pocket of the jacket, checking it with the little flashlight. Nodding once, he turned it off and put the map away, “Nothing personal, but all my trust for the synthetics is already taken by my partner.” He smiled ironically at the butterfly that slowly continued to fly. He couldn’t risk taking the wrong direction but check the map meant to use the flashlight and the less he did that, the better. There was no sound around him, but now they were walking through the buildings and that also meant possible enemies scanning the area from above. 

Keep walking aside the walls, he wondered if there were corpses somewhere around. It wasn’t a nice thought, but thinking that someone was keeping the streets clean was even worse. There were people on the other side, he knew that, so if they were dead, where were the bodies? And if they were alive… where were they hiding? 

The butterfly slowed down until it stopped on the roof of an old car- or more like what remained of the car: no ties, no motors, no glasses. Just the basic structure. 

John stopped and stared at it, “Come on buddy, don’t give up on me already…” he murmured. There were other three butterflies, plus the one in his trousers pocket, but he didn’t wanted to waste any of them. Sadly, the first one slowly moved his wings until they stopped and lost all their glowing blue. 

“Damn it.” John took it anyway and put it safely in the backpack. He used the little, covered corner of a building’s entrance to check the map again: the mansion wasn’t too far: surpassing other three buildings, street on the left and then straight forward to it. Putting away the equipment, he activated another butterfly. He nervously thought if someone would ever be able to found his dead body in a place like that. He wasn’t sure the police’s chip-locator was still working, but hope was all he had at the moment... Aside two guns. And three synthetic butterflies. 

Sighing for his own status, John saw the new butterfly’s wings glowing purple, fly around a moment before tremble and explode in little pieces. 

John jumped back, surprised and scared from the sudden sound after all the time spent in that dark silence. “What the- really? At least your brother was-“ he stopped, hearing some kind of sound, like a whisper. Without losing time, John moved inside the hall of the building and silently walked up the stairs. 

The low whisper slowly became more clear, sounding like someone calmly chanting random words. After some moments, two figures appeared on the sidewalk where the detective was minutes before: two very high creatures with two long legs, apparently humans, probably men from their _voices_ , but the upper part was hidden, covered with long, ruined jacket- or some kind of blanket, their arms also invisible, a hood hiding their faces. They had some kind of flashlight stuck on their hip and, even if the light wasn’t too strong, in that darkness it made them look like walking lighthouses. 

John stayed hidden behind the balcony of the first floor, swallowing down the fear those faceless creatures instilled in him. Then he heard something else: a metallic sound when they were moving. _They’re android?_ John wondered, not at all curious to investigate about it at the moment. 

The two creature kept looking around, apparently disinterested about the remains of the butterfly- or they didn’t notice it at all. Anyway, their chanting kept going, even while they slowly walked away. 

“I guess I found the butterflies killers.” John murmured to himself, trying to breathe again. Slowly moving downstairs, he even more slowly checked outside, but there was no sign of the two robots. He took the map from inside the jacket and sighed, moving through the streets alone. 

When he was ready to turn to the left before the straight part to reach the mansion, John stopped and crouched behind other ruins, checking for any sound, but there was only silence. The stars were hiding behind the clouds. 

John sighed and looked behind himself once more before stood and proceeding. 

The wind was growing, moving the few things hanging around: an old flag above the entrance of a building half collapsed on itself; a piece of plastic stuck on the dead roots of a fallen tree, and there was something rolling here and there, dust, stones… or more creepy remains. 

John tried to ignore everything. He couldn’t stop now, so he kept walking until the air changed a bit, becoming colder, and he blinked in surprise when the first alive tree appeared, growing in the middle of the sidewalk on the right. 

As if it was something hypnotic, John moved in front of it, wondering how that tree survived so far. Maybe even the creatures in the dark zone didn’t have the heart to destroy the few things that managed to survive in that place. 

He stared at it for another moment before walk around it and stop again: he could see a big mansion ahead, illuminated only by the dim light coming from the last piece of clear sky above. 

John swallowed hard and moved faster. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking that he never missed Dorian like in that moment. 

Coming closer to the mansion, he could actually see how big the old house was: at least three floors, with balconies and big windows on the front and on the sides; some of them destroyed, some just old and covered with plants that were dangling down into the wind. The roof on the right was broken, falling inside the mansion itself, but the old-fashioned style was the same he saw in Dorian’s memories. 

John moved quickly to the remains of the walls that once should have to keep the house safe, but now only a few parts of it were still standing. Passing through one of the multiple breaches, he blinked in surprise again: was hard to notice in that darkness, but that was the big _park_ he saw in the second memory, and probably the same place of Tamara’s picture. It wasn’t actually a park, but the garden around the house, large enough to continue for kilometers on both sides. Aside from that, the most unexpected thing was that there was grass growing there, and trees, bushes and something looking like flowers closer to the mansion… actually alive nature.

John didn’t knew where to walk from there, everything was so still and silent… enough to look like a trap. But if people were waiting for him, they probably already knew he was there, so… 

“Let’s make it quick.” He sighed, trying to stay on the left of the mansion and watch out for possible traps in the garden, but found none until he was in front of the house. He slowly walked around it, searching for any sounds or entrance. After some meters, he stopped again: behind the mansion, there was a gigantic, deep precipice, as if something had destroyed the city starting right after the mansion. 

Was impossible to say how deep the fall could be, figures at night, but it sure was deep enough to kill anyone would be so unlucky to fall down from there. 

John felt a shiver all over his back and walked away from the danger. Just like he heard the two creepy creatures before, in that silence he quickly spotted a sound from inside the mansion. Moving closer to the walls, he clearly heard some voices from behind a destroyed window. Humans this time. He slowly grabbed his gun and prepared to jump inside. 

And promptly something hit him on the head, the world suddenly turning even more dark than it was already. 

 

“What the hell…?” 

“ _How_ the hell, I would say.” 

“Did you know what this means? We have to leave!” 

“Josh, shut up.” 

John groaned, trying to open his eyes, “Yeah Josh, shut up, would you?” he murmured, looking at the two men and Yvern standing some steps away from him… tied on a chair again, “Really? The chair again?” 

One of the man, with long black hair tied behind his neck, shook his head and moved away from his view, behind him. 

“We need to call Anna.” The other man said, younger than the other, with a ruined, gray hat over the brown hair. Him, like the others, was wearing some clothes that kind of reminded of a military suit, but there were no symbols on them, nor words. “We can still make this work.” 

“No, we can’t.” Said the first man, still pacing away. 

“Josh, come on-“ 

“If he managed to find us, how much time you think we have before all the damn dark zone will be on us? We’re not safe!” 

John stayed quiet, ignoring the panicked Josh and the others for a moment, looking at his surroundings: it was an impressively big, old library, the shelves still half-full of old books; there was even a second floor, dust and pages flying down from the tight balcony. Blinking to clear his vision, John was surprised watching the high, slim tree that had grown in the space between the shelves, disappearing into a hole in the ceiling that was also the point from where most of light was coming. More than that, there was only two or three glowing sticks abandoned on the floor around the little group of people. 

John sighed, and locked eyes with Yvern’s, “We’re still in the mansion, right?” he asked, and all of them stopped and stared at him. “Just curious, guys.” He said, back against the wood chair. 

“Detective, do you have any idea of what have you done coming here?” Yvern said, now her voice was nervous, not professionally cold as it sounded before. Her short dark hair were messier than usual and she had a bandaged hand. 

He shrugged and said “Surprise?” with a sarcastic grin and a punch from Josh was the reward for that. 

“You’re going to let all of us get killed, you asshole!” he yelled, face red from anger. 

John moved a bit his neck and nodded, “Then free me. I’ll make it way quicker.” 

“Josh.” The other guy stopped him from hitting the man again, “Go call Anna. We don’t have time for this.”

After a last, furious glare at the detective, Josh walked away through the exit behind the prisoner. 

Yvern took a deep breath staring nervously at her companion leaving, clearly lost in millions of thoughts. 

John noticed. “You was really expecting me to stay home and wait for you to bother me again?” 

“We have nothing to bother you with, Detective.” She said coldly, looking back at him, “You already knew that we weren’t interested in you.” 

“Yeah, just in my DRN. Too bad he’s searching for you in the city.” 

“You think that-“ Yvern stopped hearing footsteps approaching. She shook her head and moved away from his line of sight. 

Anna quickly stepped in front of the Detective and was impossible to say if she was more incredulous or amazed. “John, what the hell are you doing here?” she asked in the end. 

“You didn’t give me your number, so…” John said with a shrug.

“How-” Anna shook her head, looking then at the others, “Someone followed him?” 

“Not from the city.” Yvern said moving next to her, “But I’m sure the Watchers did.” As soon she said that, a sarcastic scoff from Josh made all of them look back at him, now standing almost next to John. 

“What?” Josh shot back, “You're surprised about it? Because I’m not. Of course they followed him, that’s why I don’t want to stay here any longer.” 

“No one followed me, I checked,” John said, but no one looked interested in him. 

“We can’t just leave…” the other guy said, looking at everyone, “We’re so close now, the program was-“ 

“We can’t follow the program if a damn cop it’s here and brought with him all the fucking monsters from the streets.” Josh interrupted. 

John tried again, “I said that no one is-“ 

“It’s not safe anymore.” Yvern nodded, looking at Anna with a tense expression, “The house- all the plan is compromised now. We can’t risk it.” 

“But we almost made it…” the guy insisted, then looked down. 

Josh shook his head, “We better run. We can’t fight them here. Not like this, or-“ 

“Are you listening to me? No one followed me!” John yelled angrily and another punch hit the other side of his face too. 

“Sure, because you’re so smart, aren’t you?” Josh yelled back shaking his hand, “You think it’s always easy to walk outside like you did? Those things are everywhere!” 

“And clearly you’re not that smart to lure them, I guess.” 

“You son of a-“ 

Anna moved between them, “Enough!” she ordered, pushing Josh away. “We knew that this place wouldn’t be safe forever. Police or Watchers, we know what to do. We’ll be ready to leave in ten, alright?” she looked at the others that nodded silently.

“But if we stop now…” 

“Nothing change.” Anna cut short on Yvern’s talk, “We can still end this.”

Josh locked eyes with her and then said “We better. I won’t die today- not now that we’re so close.” He said and left the library, followed by the other two. 

Spitting some blood on the floor, John then looked at Anna, “You sure would be a good cop.” 

She looked down at him, “Crossing the Wall, John… really? I thought that would be too much even for you.” 

“What can I say… revenge makes you do the impossible.” He commented, voice serious. 

“So you just ran here to do what, exactly? Kill me? That’s it?” 

John thought for a second, then sent to hell everything, “I found the picture of this place in Tamara Wade’s apartment.” He said and saw her eyes change a bit to something else: sadness, almost guilt. “You killed her, did you? And you shot me that day, from the other building.” 

Anna stayed silent for a moment, then said, “I was trying to protect you and Dorian.” 

John’s eyebrow raised, “You have a strange concept of protecting someone.” 

“Tamara was Yvern’s sister.” She continued, “She was working with us until some years ago when she moved into the city.” 

He felt a slight relief at some of the mystery finally unfold, “So you shot her because she was trying to have a normal life?” 

“I killed her because Tamara knew too much. And Yvern couldn’t do it.” 

John stayed silent, then huffed a sarcastic smile, “InSyndacate would be proud of you.” 

“I’ve made worst things when I worked with them, and I can assure you, I am not proud of any of them.” Anna said, now a slight anger in her voice, “I’m not proud about killing Tamara, but it was necessary.” 

“To protect me, right… I don’t see how she was a threat to me. I never met her before.” 

“She knew about Dorian, about his problems, and she wanted to warn you- warn him and everyone else about it because she thought it was right. We tried to get some time, to make her change her mind, but in the last year she saw how good you and Dorian were working together… and she couldn’t wait anymore.” 

“You make it sound like being able to work with a synthetic was a mistake.”

Anna sighed, “It wasn’t. I never thought that it was a mistake, John, and I still don’t.” 

John could feel his detective’s sense beeping in alarm, “But…?” 

Anna took a deep breath, “But she had her reason to think that way. Reasons that I tried to keep away from you… just having you crossing the damn Wall and come right at my door asking for them.” 

“You’re surprised?” 

She shook her head, “Not really, but I wasn’t sure you would cross the Wall just to solve a case and kill your ex-girlfriend.” 

“Not just to kill you. I need that information you refused to share with me, first.” And at her blank staring, he sighed, “If you want to help Dorian, your only chance is to make me talk to him for you. If you know about his problem, then tell me how to fix it.” 

Anna frowned a bit, “You really care about him…?” 

John sighed, “Probably more than I would admit.” 

“Since when you care so much about an android?” 

John was going to regret this forever, but if honesty was all he needed to save Dorian… “Since I lost you, I guess.” He said and saw her staring in silence, so he added, “I still hate you for what you did, but… after I woke up, there was a void in my life- and wasn’t just about my leg.” 

“And Dorian made the difference?” 

“He… he’s the only one that actually tried to fix that- to fix me. I don’t know how or why, but apparently what I needed was just a stubborn, old, stupid synthetic.” 

Anna looked at him intently, “You know why. It’s the same reason why the DRN’s series doesn’t exist anymore. They felt too much- share too much with us.” 

“I’m starting to think that it wasn’t a mistake, after all.” He said tiredly, “And hear me say something like that, can give you a hint about how much my life is _still_ a mess.” And snorted a laugh. He saw her eyes a bit watery, so his smile slowly faded. 

“I never told you this, John but… I am sorry.” She said and saw him look away, “What happened that day was what moved me to leave InSyndacate. It was my mistake, and I know I’ll never be able to change what happened.” 

“Maybe you need a DRN too.” 

She looked at him, surprise to see a calm expression on his face now, even if still sad. “Maybe.” She said, and moved behind him to cut the rope around his wrists, “He warned me that something like this could happen...” she smiled a bit. 

“ _He_?” John asked while she helped him to stand, and he was glad to notice that both his legs were working fine. The backpack was gone, though, now that he thought about it. 

“I know you want to kill me, but I need to show you something first.” She said and handed him his gun, “Think you can wait a bit longer?” 

John stared at it, grab it and then asked, “What is it?” 

“The reasons I didn’t share with you so far. I think that you deserve to know... You’ll need to know.” She waited another moment and then walked to the exit behind them. 

Leaving the library, John followed her into the big, fancy entrance of the mansion, the door covered with pieces of wood just like all the windows. From there, he saw the stairs going to the second floor and the ruined banister; there were old and broken paintings on the walls, the remains of the chandelier miraculously still attached on the arched ceiling. 

Anna walked into a door on the far right that led him downstairs and descending the little, metal stairs, the air became a bit less heavy. They walked into a short corridor before she opened a door on the left and moved inside. 

John followed and blinked at the strong light in there, and then at all the rest: it was like Rudy’s lab, but bigger, less messy and probably cleaner. There was also a particular part of the lab, on the right, like a little room where strange, sophisticated instruments and machines were closed between the glass walls. 

What actually made him blink in surprise, thought, was the person he found there, staring at one of the screens, “Dorian?” 

The DRN turned to look at him, equal surprise on his face, looking at the detective, at Anna and then back at him, “John… what are you doing here?” 

“What _I_ am doing here?” he shouted, coming closer, “You escaped like a criminal, I thought you were searching for information in the city!” 

“I was. I-“ the DRN was still unsure who to look at. 

“Hey.” John grabbed his jacket, “She did something to you?” 

“No, she… I am sorry, I- I am just surprised to see you here.” 

“Yeah, well, same here. Why you’re here? What-“ John turned to Anna, “Did you kidnapped my DRN?” 

She shook her head, “He was searching for us. We talked and he accepted to come here.” 

“Why?” he looked back at the DRN, “Why you couldn’t wait for me? You said we would talk with them together.” 

“I know.” 

John blinked, waiting, but there was nothing else to hear. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” 

Dorian looked unsure, then said, “You should leave, John.” 

The Detective’s furious words were stopped just in time by the mansion trembling above them. 

Anna looked up, then at him, “Friends of yours?” 

“No, I told you, no one followed me.” 

“You crossed the Wall and walked here by yourself?” Dorian asked, terrified at the idea. 

“What else was I supposed to do? Call the Captain?” 

“You could’ve died, John!” 

“That’s why I usually have a partner with me, but he was on an adventure on his own!” 

The mansion shuddered again and this time they heard something crashing upstairs. 

“Some of the Watchers found us...” Anna said, then looked at them, “You two stay here. We’ll try to distract them. John, Dorian is right, you should leave until you still can.” Then she looked at the android that nodded, before running outside the lab. 

John thought about stop her, or follow her for a second… just for a second. 

“John, come on.” Dorian called for him, “There’s another exit at the end of the corridor- John!” 

The Detective didn’t move, staring at the same screen Dorian was looking at before: there was lots of data, but also pictures of the house when it was in a better state, with people living there… a man, in particular, caught his attention in what looked like a family picture.

Dorian moved closer, grabbing his arm, “We need to-“ 

“That’s Nigel Vaughn,” John said, moving away from his grip. “He lived here?” he asked at the DRN. 

“We don’t have time for-“ 

“You better find the time, because I’m not moving until you’ll start to explain what the hell is going on. Where that picture came from? Another memory?” 

“No. John- this have nothing to do with you.” 

“If you’re involved, then I have more than enough to do with it!” He said, but the DRN just looked more conflicted, “Don’t lie to me. Not you.” 

Dorian stared sadly at him, and then the ceiling crashed down on them.

.-.-.-.

_“You ever thought about what could be outside the Wall?”_

_Anna looked up from her coffee cup and frowned a bit at her boyfriend, “Why you ask?”_

_“I don’t know.” John sat on the bench next to her, or more like attached to her side, placing an arm over her shoulders, “Just curious. And because it’s right in front of us.”_

_Anna looked at the part of Wall that was some meters away from the little park where they stopped after launch. She looked up at the top, “You know I don’t believe in aliens…”_

_“Me either. So what, monster? Genetic experiments went wrong?” he smiled at her._

_“That’s what you think?”_

_“No, but the genetic experiments sound real enough. That or…I don’t know, probably just desperate people.”_

_“That’s sad… and kind of offensive.”_

_He huffed a laugh, “I’ll have to apologize to the outside civilization then.”_

_“I mean that maybe out there could live the people that didn’t make it to the city. You know how strict they are now about allowing people inside…” she looked at the Wall again, “I wonder how many people are still out there trying to survive.”_

_“And how many of them don’t want to join us at all.”_

_She looked at him, surprised, “You think so?”_

_“Well, I’m going to run a team next week, after that l can ask for an exploration mission outside the Wall and let you know.”_

_“You- you said you wouldn’t be in patrol next week…”_

_“Change of plan.” He shrugged, then said with sorry voice, “I know we talked about taking some days off, but this is my job… You know I can’t say no if they call me.” He grabbed her shoulder, “What can I do to have your forgiveness?”_

_She looked down, then shook her head and smiled a bit, “Going outside the Wall will be enough.”_

_“Wow, ok then… I’ll try to do that soon as I can.” He laughed, keeping her close, smelling the rose’s perfume she always used, before closing his eyes…_

-.-.-.-

“ **John!** ”

John suddenly startled awake, hitting his head against something hard. He groaned and blinked in the semi-darkness he found himself, slowly recognizing what was on top of him. “Dorian…” 

“Hang in there, ok? Stay awake.” The DRN said, voice tense and kind of under pressure. 

John tried to move his arms, placing his hand on the android’s shoulders: the android was almost horizontally on top of his chest, somehow hugging his head. Looking a bit up, he saw blue lines over his face that was so close. “I… can’t breathe…” 

“I know, I’m trying to move. I had to cover your head from-“ John’s cry made him stop and look down in alarm. “What? You’re hurt?” he tried to scan him but his head was stuck under pieces of concrete; part of the ceiling had fallen over his back, pushing him over the human. 

“Leg…” 

“Doesn’t work?” 

“Other leg.” 

Dorian nodded and pushed more on the floor with his hands, trying to lift himself at least a bit and heard him cough. “Better?” 

John sighed, able to breathe more easily. He looked around, slowly remembering where they were. “Anna…?” 

“I don’t know. The attack stopped some moment ago, but no one came down here. I can’t track any living form upstairs.” He sighed, “Part of the ceiling fell down. I tried to cover you, to protect your head but-“ 

“My brain isn’t that precious anyway…” 

“You’re still injured, John.” Dorian angrily shot back, “One more hit on that wound and you’re head will crack open!” 

“You’re overreacting now…” 

Dorian would probably hit him himself if he wasn’t stuck under the rubble and if the detective wasn’t already injured, “I saw you make stupid things, but this is a new level, even for you.” 

“Now it’s my fault?” 

“Crossing the Wall and come here by yourself, John?” 

“You left me to investigate on your own-” 

“What were you thinking?!” 

John couldn’t argue about that because, yeah, that trip in the dark zone sounded kind of crazy now that Dorian pointed it out. “I was trying to solve the case. _I_ solve it.” He said with a low, unhappy voice. 

“Oh, well done. You want a medal?” 

“I just needed you for once, and you were here- with them…” 

“I had my reasons.” 

“Reasons that clearly your partner don’t deserve to know,” John said angry, coughing again. 

Dorian looked down, now with an almost guilty face. “I’m sorry about that, but I didn’t wanted to put you in danger again.” 

“Sure, because we’re enjoying a tea at the moment…” 

“That’s why you shouldn’t have come here in the first place.” He returned, “How did you found the house?” he asked, curious despite everything. 

John sighed, “There was a picture of this place in Tamara’s apartment. Then I thought about the other side of the Wall… and Rudy’s butterflies got it in their mapping.” 

“You knew Anna was here?” 

“The map I saw when they kidnapped me was the dark zone.” 

Dorian nodded slowly, “Well done, John. You really are a detective.” 

He just groaned, and then hissed in pain. “I’m still waiting for your explanation, by the way.” 

Dorian slowly complied, “They knew about my memories… they explained to me what they are and why I have them.” 

“You don’t sound too happy about it.” 

“It’s because of my Synthetic Soul. The memories are still in there, probably more of them, and they’re not mine.” 

John stopped trying to move and looked up at him. “So we can remove them?” 

“No, we can’t. They are part of my program, John.” 

“Alright, so they- Anna said that they could help you…” 

“They can help. Just… not me.” 

John didn’t know what that could mean, but he didn’t liked Dorian’s expression: it was a mix of stubbornness and hardly-hidden sadness. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“It means that the memories are not mine, they just keep flashing on when emotions and feelings are strong enough to activate them.” 

“We already knew that, but if they aren’t yours, you have to, what, just keep them forever?” 

Dorian shook his head, “If they’ll keep appearing so often, they’re going to corrupt my system in few years or less.” 

That constant bad feeling was so strong now, John felt a cold shiver all over his spine, “You just said that they can help, now you’re saying that there’s no way to fix you… can we get to the point before I start shooting someone?” 

“I said they can’t help _me_ , John, but they can give back the memories to the person they belong to.” 

John blinked, trying to make some sense of it, but then a cold thought hit him, “How?” he asked in a low voice, and saw Dorian’s face hardened a bit. 

“Removing my synthetic soul.” 

“But that’s- the synthetic soul is…it’s you.” At Dorian’s silence, he just grew more nervous, “They can take the memories away from it? They know how to remove them from your system?” 

“No, they can’t.” 

John blinked and thumped his head on the floor, still not completely sure about what was happening. Maybe a part of him knew it already, but the other part was fighting to ignore it. 

“John-” 

“You can’t give them your synthetic soul.” 

“Listen…” 

“Removing it means that you’ll die.” He knew that _die_ wasn’t the right word, but he didn’t care. 

Dorian just stared at him from above, with one arm resting and brushing over John’s head and the other arm crossing his chest, still protecting him, faces few centimeters away. “I know.” 

“You’re kidding, right? You can’t be seriously considering doing it.” 

“What choice did I have?” 

“You can just refuse!” 

“And wait for my system to malfunction? Wait to go crazy and hurt you again?” 

“We’ll find another way. Rudy will find another way-” 

“Not this time.” 

“He’s a damn genius, he can-“ 

“The only person that could try to find a way to change my synthetic soul without changing me is Nigel Vaughn-“ 

“Then we can find him-“ 

“and he’s dead. Almost eight months ago.” 

John stopped his next sentence, staring at the blue eyes of the android in silence.

“That’s why Anna and her people were trying so hard to find me. They were the only ones left still able to make it work and save a human life.” 

“You don’t even know if this person is real or not-” 

“It is real. They had all the data I needed to trust them.” 

“So she worked for him now? She knew about this all along?” 

Dorian sighed, “She did, but her duty was just to find me and told me about the memories… she shouldn’t have talked with you, or involve you at all. That was her choice.” 

“As if I’m not going to kill her after we’ll get out of here anyway.” John murmured, trying in vain to move his legs stuck under the rubble. He couldn’t stay there any longer. 

“She could have just kill you or send you away without telling you I was here...” 

“Oh, so now not only she lied to me again, but she’s a good person because she _could have_ keep lying but she didn’t.” 

“She _is_ a good person. John-“ 

“You’re already malfunctioning if you think that.” 

“John, please…” 

John wasn’t focusing on him anymore, just on the need to take distance from the android, from what he was saying, from what he was going to do- from everything. He hated the first moment he let the DRN enter his life. He should’ve never let him get so close and change everything, change him, just to stab him in the back like that…

John stopped his thoughts and movements only when a hand moved gently on the side of his head, over the wound, and he focused on the DRN’s eyes, now shaded of green again… he looked so sad. 

“I am not doing this because I don’t care about my life, John. I do care, and I care about you. I’ve never felt more human like in the last two years.” Dorian said slowly, as if he could read his mind, “And that’s what is making everything worst, especially for you. I can deal with the pain, with risking my life… I’m an android, your partner, that’s what I am here for.” 

“That doesn’t mean-“ 

“But you’re just human, John.” He continued, grasping his hair just slightly, as those words were painful to say, but needed to be said, “You can be hurt, you bleed and you can die. You’re ready to risk your life for me and I can’t let you do that.” 

John would punch him in the face if he could, “If I ever decide to die for someone, you have no words on the matter.” 

Dorian stared stubbornly at him, “But not for me.” 

John determination slowly faded when he saw his eyes watery. If androids could cry, he sure was close to doing it. 

Dorian blinked and pushed up again, trying to move the concrete from his back and after a moment, the piece of ceiling fell aside in clouds of dust. 

John coughed again, trying to sit, his legs still stuck under a metal shelf and more remains of the ceiling. “Damn it…” he looked up at the DRN that was scanning him. When he stopped, they looked at each other for a long moment, both covered in dust.

“You once told me that people can change so much that you won’t feel anything for them anymore…” Dorian said in the end, kneeling next to him, “That’s what happened with Anna, and I saw how much painful it was for you.” 

“One more reason to kill her.” 

“I don’t want you to feel the same way about me.” He continued, “If I don’t do this, I’ll start malfunctioning, I’ll go crazy like the rest of the DRNs… I won’t be myself anymore. You will hate me for it, and then you’ll start to hate yourself too because you couldn’t do anything about it. Do you understand?” 

“I understand that you’re giving up easier than I thought.” 

Dorian looked down before standing up. He stopped when the human’s hand grabbed his arm. They stared at each other again, before the android gently free himself. 

“Hey- Dorian, come on-“ John couldn’t move and he felt a cold shiver again when his partner didn’t helped him to get free, walking to use one of the computers and then looked at the little room with the glass walls. John saw some lights flicker and others stay on. “Mind to get me out of here or all those speeches about keeping me alive where bullshits?” 

Dorian didn’t turned around, keep using the computer and then moving inside the room, checking something else on the machine in there.

John felt fear mixing with anger and grabbed the shelf, trying to pull it up, but he now knew why he should have stayed in bed and rest: he just didn’t have enough strength anymore. The accident, the kidnap, crossing the damn Wall and have a walk into the dark zone… maybe he reached his limit, and he feared that he was realizing it too late. 

Trying to use the synthetic leg was useless because it was completely stuck. John kept pushing until his hands hurt and let go the shelf with a hiss of pain, “Damn it-” he growled, staring helplessly at the lower part of himself. He heard some kind of machine hums and the lights lose power for a moment. Looking in the little room, he saw Dorian turned to the controls, now staring at them with a sad expression… and another wave of anger hit. He looked around and found what he needed. 

The android didn’t even flinch at the sound of four gunshots against the wall. 

John slowly lowered the gun, staring defeated at the bulletproof glass that was just slightly cracked. 

Dorian clicked something else and then turn around, his face sad, but also ready to do what he thought was the right thing.

“You’re giving up your life to someone you don’t even know.” John said when he couldn’t stand that silence anymore, “Someone we don’t know- that did nothing for you. Why you should do something like this for someone that could be the devil himself for what we know?” 

After a sigh, Dorian said with his usual irony, “You’re not going to make this easy for me, do you?” 

“Like hell I will! You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to! Not for me, not for a random person that for some reason lost his memory. Maybe he- or she, whatever, don’t even know about them, maybe don’t even care about them. What if that person is not even alive anymore?” 

“They wouldn’t search for me because of a dead person,” Dorian said, slowly moving back to him, kneeling again. 

John never saw him so resigned and he hate it. “You don’t have to do it.” He said again. 

“I have to.” Dorian said more seriously, looking into his eyes, “You know why I’m sure about this? Because you’re the best Detective I ever know, and a good man, a good friend… but now you’re trying to convince me to let another person die to save myself.” He took a breath at the conflicted look on the detective’s face, “Think about this reasonably John, not because I’m involved. Wouldn't you do the same? You would stop any other android from doing this?” 

The answer just made the man angrier. 

The ceiling trembled again. Dorian scanned upstairs and then the lab, “I don’t have time to explain all the story. Anna will probably search for you after this…” he looked back at him, “Please, listen to what she have to say before start shooting, ok?” 

“You better be there to stop me, or another human will die anyway.” 

Dorian smiled a bit, only for a second, because John’s face was hard, no irony. A beep echoed from the room and he turned around to it. At the same time, a hand grasped his jacket with all the strength an injured, sad and angry man could still have. He looked back at his partner and saw him staring in silence, lips sealed into a tight line. Dorian’s shoulders dropped a bit and he moved to hug him, “It’s gonna be ok, John.” He said against his ear, “I’m sure it’s gonna be ok. For both of us.” 

John didn’t said anything. His mind was simply refusing to accept what was happening. 

Dorian moved away, once again his jacket stuck in the man’s hand. He grabbed it, keep it between he’s, then nodded once at him and free himself again. 

“Wait- Dorian-“ John saw him walk back into the room, laying on the long chair in there, connecting some wire to himself. “Wait!” was all he could say, staring at him, trying in vain to get free from under the shelf. 

The machine in the room hummed strongly, something starting to work. 

_You can’t be seriously going to-_

“Dorian!” John shouted and the android turned his head to look at him, “You asked what was the point of human’s memory… The point is that there are things we don’t want to forget- things we can’t forget, no matter what.” 

Dorian stared at him, pondering his words like he always used to do, then slowly smiled. A light smile that made disappear all the fear from his face.

Before John could say something else, the lights in the lab flickered again, some computers exploded and then, after a long moment of energy flowing everywhere, there was only silence and few machines still working. 

John lowered his arm and looked back at the room: Dorian was still there, laying on the long chair, the shadow of that last smile on his calm face, but his eyes were black. 

John just stared at him, stuck for a long moment, because everything happened so quickly... too quickly. He tried to call the DRN, but his name was stuck in his throat as well. He stared at those black eyes, missing the glowing blue already. 

Dorian was just an empty shell now. 

John just lost his partner once again, and once again he couldn’t do anything but watching him die.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summer heat is mostly the reason why the editing slowed down. Apologies.

There were few things still able to surprise the city inside the Wall, and most of them were not nice things. 

That night, some hours after Doctor Lom saw John Kennex crossing the Wall, multiple explosion were heard on the other side, and sounds like that from the dark zone were never a good sign. 

Police quickly moved to keep the situation under control with troops of MX, along with humans soldiers, at the Eastern border, waiting for orders. 

Captain Maldonado was called too, and she asked for the best members of her Department. Only John Kennex didn’t answer and that little shiver she got after the calls gone missing, was similar to what the Detective was feeling in a mansion on the other side of Wall, almost at the same time. 

Rudy was also informed about what was happening. No need to say that he was already keeping an eye on the situation from his lab… A camera locked on the spot where he saw John last time and he never turned that screen off since then. It was one hour before the dawn and he was going to keep his promise: for how hard it could be, with the entire city in alarm, he had to wait, and hope for the best. 

That status of apprehension keep going for that entire last, endless hour, but nothing came from the Dark Zone, no more sounds, no enemies, nothing. It wasn’t the first time the city had to stay on alert for so long, but with the Wall’s security at risk, they couldn’t do otherwise. 

When the first rays of light floated over the Earth, Rudy was already grabbing the phone, but another one rang and he took the call first. 

“We found John outside the Wall.” Valerie Stahl informed with a tense voice, “He’s unconscious, but he’s alive.” Not hearing any answer, she added, “He was probably kidnapped by the same people that got him a week ago. Dorian is not there, right?” 

That name woke up the inventor, “He… he’s not with John?” 

“No.” Valerie said, now sounding a bit worried, while more voices echoed around her, “We found John alone, but with one of those robotic butterflies I saw in your lab...” 

Rudy shook his head, placing one hand on the desk. “Yes- yes, he asked me for that the other day.” 

“Ok... We are taking him to the hospital right now. Can you check the records for me? I’m sending you the info. Maybe we can see who left him there. We’ll talk later, ok?” 

He nodded and after a brief goodbye, he closed the call, staring at the phone for a long moment before blink away the tears and call Captain Maldonado.

-.-.-

When John opened his eyes, he felt as he had the most stressful, terrible, scary and sad dream he ever had. He felt like he forgot something, but his mind wasn’t eager to remember.

“John.” 

He blinked slowly and the hospital bed he was come into focus, along with the rest of a room with, some pot of flowers here and there and Sandra Maldonado sitting in the chair next to him. 

She took a deep breath, relief washing over her body. “You scared the hell out of me this time.” 

John was still feeling locked in a bubble, so he just blinked. 

Sandra nodded, “You have to rest for now.” 

“…Dorian?” he asked slowly, voice low and weak. He asked about his partner out of habit but saying his name suddenly cracked his shield of apathy. Slowly, he remembered everything. 

The Captain just shook her head. 

John stared at her in silence, his mind recalling the last moments he spent with his partner, and he wished he’d never woke up at all. 

 

Some days passed, but no one showed up at the hospital and John was grateful about it: he couldn’t leave the bed yet, not without his synthetic leg that was God knows where, and the absence of that freedom was keeping him on the edge of punch any human brave enough to enter his room. 

Contain the rage was a constant fight but he was doing his best and, to keep it that way, he needed to stay alone. 

 

After a week his synthetic leg was back, and Valerie showed up to say hi. She knew him enough not to ask how he was feeling. She placed some of his clothes nearby the bed and told him that a report about what happened at the Wall days before was ready for him to read when he wanted to. 

John said thanks and that the report could wait. 

She nodded and, after a quick glare at his bandaged head, she said goodbye and left the room. 

Some day later, Captain Maldonado came to visit again, to inform him that she needed to write down what he could remember about what happened on the other side of the Wall. She added that she asked to wait a bit longer, but people above her were waiting, and she thought would be better ask him herself before they could try. With the Wall involved, there was no time for feelings.

It took John all the calm he put together in those days to nod silently and answer to her questions: no, he didn’t remember how they caught. No, he couldn’t remember how they moved to the other side of the Wall. No, he had no memories of what happened there, just the last explosion in a mansion and then nothing else. 

Sandra took a breath and then asked, “Dorian wasn’t with you?” 

John’s hands flinched a bit. “I don’t remember.” 

The Captain didn’t insist and just nodded. “Sorry about this. I will inform the Department. You’re off duty, of course. All the time you need.” And watching him not fighting her about it, just let her know that that was the best decision for everyone. 

John kept looking down while she left the room, his grip on the sheets tight enough to hurt. 

 

After another week and multiple checkups, John’s head was finally healed enough to remove the bandage. 

Two days later, he slowly collected his few belongings in a bag and left the room. He walked through the corridors and then outside, into the city’s streets again; taking a taxi to go home, entering the apartment and closing the door behind himself. John closed his eyes for a moment because the feeling of something missing was strong enough to make him scream.

After some long, deep breaths, he threw the bag on the couch and moved to the kitchen to make some coffee. Doctor said that was better for him to wait before drink and eat that kind of stuff but- 

_“You could’ve stop to buy something healthier.”_

John flinched so hard he let the mug roll away and crash on the floor. He looked behind him and froze: Dorian’s charger wasn’t there anymore.

 

Days passed and became months. Months full of memories that the Detective couldn’t stop from coming back at him like a punch in the stomach every single time. 

Dorian wasn’t there, but he still could hear his voice, his sarcastic comment when he was doing something stupid, his patience reminders to take care of himself, to check the wound often so it would heal better… 

Dorian wasn’t there and John knew it, but his voice was keeping him moving. Without that, he wasn’t sure what could happen. 

 

People passed by, Sandra mostly, but someone from the office came to say hi and left something to eat, or just some beers. 

John slowly started to realize that more people that he thought knew, by now, how much Dorian meant for him. How much that old model meant maybe for everyone… and John was Dorian’s _family_ , so they kept coming at his door.

At first, he didn’t even bother to open the said door. Not because he didn’t wanted to see them, but because he stayed in bed for days after leaving the hospital, not moving from there until it was really necessary- until Dorian’s voice wasn’t insistent enough.

Yet, the doorbell kept ringing. Dorian’s memory continued coming back, not going to give up on him that easily. 

Slowly rage faded and sadness took its place, and John forced himself to reach the door, even just to see if someone else was hurt like he was. 

Those people that finally managed to see him and talk to him probably told the rest of the office that he was finally connecting with the outside world again, because Captain Maldonado passed to visit some days later. They talked about cases she was on, how the rest of them was working and stupid, generic things. 

Valerie passed by too, leaving him a bottle of Whisky. “I know I shouldn’t give you this, but if you need something strong, better not be that horrible beer I saw in your kitchen.” She said. 

John accepted with a light smile, but the bottle stayed on the table for another week, untouched. 

After that week, one evening the doorbell rang again and when John opened the door, he actually managed to look a bit surprised. “Paul.” 

“Kennex.” Detective Paul nodded, showing some bags from the Chinese restaurant close to the apartment. “Captain asked me to leave you this.” 

John nodded slowly, not sure about that, but let him come in. The food was enough for three and they ate it together without actually saying something about have dinner. Not even using plates, they consumed the food from the little, plastic boxes, talking about sport, cases, how Paul was doing, and more stupid, useless, generic stuff. That stuff was becoming the only things John was able to talk about, by now. 

They sat on the couch to watch some games, but John’s mind wasn’t there, and the other Detective probably noticed it because after a bit he stood up. 

John blinked awake only when he heard and saw Valerie’s Whiskey bottle placed on the coffee table in front of the couch, next to the report of his kidnap. John stared at it in silence. 

Paul did the same, then sighed and placed a hand on his shoulder. He left it there for a moment, before squeezing a bit, patted him once and stood again, this time leaving the apartment. 

That was what finally broke him. 

John felt the tears falling down and dropped his head through his hands, silently crying for the first time since Dorian was gone.

.-.-.-.

It took John two other months to slowly get back part of his normal life. He had to do some other checkups, mostly because Sandra insisted about wanting him completely healed before come back to work. He told her that he wasn’t even sure when or if that would’ve happened, but she only answered with a cold and dry “We’ll talk about that another time.”

John knew she was ready to fight to have him back, but she was right… they would’ve talked about it another time. Later the better. 

After a quick run to the grocery shop, John came back home when the phone was ringing. He left the bag on the kitchen table and looked at the name of the calling: Rudy. Sighing, he let the phone ring. 

Rudy was the only one that never came to visit, not in the hospital nor at home. He called a lot, though, when John wasn’t in the mood to talk, or when he was but not with him and when he could but didn’t want to- just like now. 

John sent a quick glare at the report on his bedside table while moving the bathroom. He read it all the same night Paul gave it to him, drinking the entire Whiskey bottle.

The report was just a bland confirmation of what he told to Sandra, but was also the proof that Rudy said nothing about their plan to cross the Wall, or about Dorian. They all believed that he was kidnapped, so he wouldn’t be accused of anything- and he knew how severe the sentences on people crossing the Wall could be. Also, nothing said that Dorian was suspect of malfunctioning, hurting anyone or betrayal against the Police Department: he was just a line written on a page saying that John Kennex’s personal DRN was missing in action. 

Was a little sentence, but painful enough to remind John that his partner decided to deactivate himself. Because he wanted to save an unknown, probably inexistent person that he believed was more important than his own life. 

The thought of Dorian sacrificing himself for nothing was there to hunt John every single night. 

Because of that, and some other reasons, he still couldn’t talk with Rudy. The inventor knew too much, he sure wouldn’t believe any of that _I can’t remember anything_ crap John said since waking up. He would ask about Dorian, about what happened inside the mansion and why he came back alone… and John wasn’t sure to be able to answer any of those questions yet. 

But maybe he would’ve found that out soon because the phone was ringing again and now didn’t stop. After almost three minutes of missing calls, John took a deep breath and answered in a cold and serious, “Rudy, it’s so hard to understand when people don’t want to talk?” 

“Sorry John, but we really should talk.” 

John froze, checking the phone again, then said even angrier, “Wrong move, Anna. Really wrong move.” 

“I wasn’t sure how to approach you again, so I tried to talk with your friend here, but-“ 

“If you hurt him-“ 

“Come check by yourself.” She said and closed the call. 

John gripped the phone tightly and ran outside.

 

Walking inside the lab ten minutes later, John looked everywhere until he slowly stopped at the entrance of the second room on the right: Rudy was sitting on the couch, a little bag of ice over his face, hair messy and his waistcoat open over the white half-unbuttoned shirt. He was looking down, yet there were no tears, just deep, pure sadness that become surprise when he looked up and John couldn’t found the courage to say anything. 

“She already left.” Rudy came to his help, “She was here with that creepy MX of her, but they left after calling you.” 

John sighed, “Maybe I can reach them.” 

“Yes, they- they’re probably still around.” 

John turned to leave, just to stop after two steps. He closed his eyes for a second, then his shoulders dropped. 

Rudy looked up in surprise again when he saw him approaching, “You shouldn’t…?” 

“I doubt I’ll find them if they don’t want me to.” He said staying in front of him, moving away his hand to check his face: there was a bruise on his cheek, “She did this?” 

“No, it was the MX.” He put the ice on again, “He asked me about you, and I… Maybe I said something that upset him.” 

“Which was?” 

“To fuck off.” 

John blinked and huffed a little laugh. 

“I wasn’t expecting to be punched in the face… not from an MX.” They stared at each other for a moment, then Rudy sighed and said, “I’m sorry for the call. I should have stopped her…“ 

“It’s fine. Don’t think about it.” 

“It’s not- John, it’s not fine,” he sighed again, looking down, “Any of all this it’s fine.” 

In the rush inside the lab, John didn’t actually look around, but now that he did, he realized he was almost waiting for Dorian to suddenly appear to take care of their friend. He looked down at the Doctor: he probably felt the same for days- for months. "Rudy…” 

“I know. Don’t worry. I know.” He cut him off, nervously looking at his shoes. “You don’t have to say anything. Actually, Anna asked me to say something to you. She said –Tell John it’s time to take a break-. It means something to you?” 

He took a deep breath and nodded, “Means that she’s in my apartment.” 

Rudy nodded, a bit unsure, “Doesn’t look like a very subtle trap…”

“I don’t think it is. She could’ve easily just killed you and wait for me here.” 

“That’s very comforting…” the other commented. 

John took a deep breath, then said, “Rudy, listen, maybe we should-“ 

“We should, yes. Not now, though.” He said in a low voice, “Go get her. Stop her, I mean. But be careful. I’ll keep an eye around your apartment from here.” He added standing and walking to the computer in the main room. 

John slowly followed, stared at the man focused on the screen, and then forced the rest of the words out, “I’m sorry I didn’t bring him back.” 

Rudy stopped working and turned around, looking at him as if he just hit him with something for no reason, “I don’t blame you for anything, John. It wasn’t- it’s not your fault.” 

_Wish I could believe that as much as you do_ John thought, but he just nodded and left the laboratory. 

 

He was back at his apartment’s door in few minutes, but he stayed outside the door for some time before entering. The place was silent, the gray daylight of a cold, cloudy evening illuminating the area. 

John reached the kitchen and saw her outside, in the balcony. 

Anna was sitting on one of the metal chairs, wearing a light jacket over a shirt, her hair now free to fall over her back. She turned around a bit, looking at the detective and then said, “At least you didn’t kill me on the spot.” She said without the slightest sign of irony. 

“I promised to a person to let you talk before doing that.” He said, walking in front of her, “So, why the hell you came here after everything that happened because of you?” 

“First, I have to give you this.” She said, placing something similar to a pen drive on the little table next to her. “There’s a video in it that you need to watch. Then, I’ll tell you my thoughts, if you’ll still want to hear them.”

John stared at the object, “What kind of video?” 

“I think the correct word could be a testament, from a person that needed to talk to you but couldn’t.”

“Who?” 

She almost answered, but then stopped, “Watch the video, John. You wanted the truth, I’m here just to give you that.” 

John stared at her for a moment, then took the pen drive, examine it and looked at her again, “If this is some kind of trick…” 

She shook her head, “It’s not. That’s just what you probably need right now.” She said, back against the chair, “I’ll wait here. You will still be able to kill me or arrest me, whatever will make you happy.” 

“Sure… and be punched in the face by your robot like Rudy?” 

Anna smiled a bit, “No, Ray is- that MX it’s gone.” She breathed out, looking so tired, “It’s just you and me now.” 

He looked unsure at the pen, then slowly moved back inside. Standing in the kitchen, he stared again at the pen drive, then at Anna still sitting outside, immobile, and finally walked into the living room, sitting on the couch. He placed the pen on the coffee table and after another moment, he pressed the little button on top of it and a blue light blinked along one side. 

For a second, John hoped to see Dorian but, instead, the holographic part of a room appeared in front of him. The television disappeared behind what looked like a study of some sort: there was the end of a desk covered with books and documents on the right, from where the daylight was coming, while there was a single couch on the left, in front of more shelves and paintings on the wall. 

John stared at the hologram in confusion. He never saw that place before… but he knew the man that walked into the scene as if he was standing right there in his living room right now, and he almost smashed his back against the couch flinching away from the vision. 

Nigel Vaughn stared right at him for a moment, probably checking if the recording was working, then took a deep breath and said, _“You probably weren’t expecting to see me, Detective Kennex.”_

He just swallowed down the surprise. The old man was paler than he remembered, still with his white, messy hair and the little pair of glass on his nose, and that small, suspicious smile. He was wearing a heavy red and brown shirt and some old black trousers. 

_“I wish we could've got the chance to talk personally again. I am sorry about what happened last time we saw each other, but I had no other choice at the time.”_ Nigel continued, looking around before sitting on the gray couch, _“Danica needed to be destroyed anyway, and I’m glad that you did it.”_

“Barely.” John murmured. He couldn’t stop himself from answering: it was like the man was just right there…

Nigel looked down at his hands, clasping them together, _“I have no idea where to start…Maybe- maybe I have to reassure you that there are no other Danicas outside the Wall. I had to take those samples with me and use her as a bait when I escaped the city, but I haven’t made more of them. They weren’t happy about that… and with they, I mean InSyndacate, of course.”_

“Of course.” John hissed, looking sideway, over the balcony. 

_“And before you go kill Anna, please, let me finish.”_ Nigel added.

The Detective looked back at him, surprised.

_“She- I’m pretty sure she’s probably still there with you now- if you haven’t killed her yet, that is. I asked her to give you this video... I hope she has kept her promises.”_ Nigel took a breath, collected his thoughts and continued, _“It was InSyndacate that helped me escape the city and get a new laboratory and everything I needed to work again. My intentions weren’t to start a war, or just give away my creations for free… I just needed them. I used them until I needed to, but when I tried to leave… let’s say it wasn’t easy as I thought. That’s how I met Anna.”_ He said, gesturing somewhere in the room, _“She wanted to leave the organization too, she lost an eye trying to, and I helped her with that. It was just a synthetic eye, after all, nothing too complicated.”_

John shook his head, trying to tolerate that I’m-an-expert tone. 

_“We were sharing the same need to escape. I would've never been able to leave InSyndacate without her… and Ray, of course. An MX. Personalized. We together managed to leave that hell of a place, searching for another place to stay in the Dark Zone. I needed to keep working…”_ he got lost for a moment, then looked directly at him, more sadly now, _“If everything worked out like I designed, then you are watching this recording alone...”_ Nigel blinked, still staring at him, maybe trying to imagine the Detective’s expression, _“I hope that telling you that Dorian is not dead in vain will help you to cope with what happened. I know it won’t bring him back, but… I had to ask for his sacrifice, John. I never wanted to lose him, not more than you did. Unfortunately, it was necessary.”_ He said, pronouncing the last words like fighting them, _“Everything I did, everything I tried to do and the people I’ve lost… Dorian’s life was just the last one, more painful to ask for.”_

John swallowed down the sadness and the anger at those words. 

Doctor Vaughn took a deep breath, then said more calmly, _“Would you be surprised to know that the Synthetic Soul program wasn’t entirely my idea?”_ he smiled a bit as if he could see the frown appearing on the Detective’s face, _“A friend of mine started the project, an old friend. We- we were in the same school, same scientific academy, we both become scientists the same year. He had the first idea about a Synthetic soul. Creating android, creating something alive from nothing… He was obsessed with it, and of course, I started to follow his researches, his studies ad theories. That’s what lead us to the final idea: the Synthetic Soul was something never seen before.”_ Nigel said, once again almost to himself, _“Then we started to create the androids we needed to test it, the DRN series, but the program wasn’t like we wanted yet. Something was missing, something we couldn’t get inside the program, but it was our most important project and he were determined… I think that what I did since then, was because of that determination.”_

“Why I smell a tragedy incoming?” John murmured looking intently at the Doctor’s expression, still trapped in their virtual meeting.

_“Sadly, that’s when my friend’s life started to go into pieces. His wife almost died in a car accident that left her in a coma. His son barely survived.”_ Nigel was looking down at the floor, _“I gave up on having a family way before you know me, Detective, but he didn’t. He… he had a wonderful family, and I was glad to be part of it.”_

John breathed out, thinking about his own car accident, months before. 

_“What happened was too much for him. He abandoned the project completely, leaving me to deal with everything… It wasn’t strange, he never desired to be under the spotlights, he just wanted to work on our projects, but I couldn’t just- I couldn’t sell away the DRNs just like that, so I tried to get more time, I tried to talk him out of his sadness, but it was useless. Then, I discovered that all three of them had left the city. They were back to the old mansion his parent’s left to him years before.”_ Nigel shook his head, smiling a bit, _“We laughed so hard when we discovered that his heritage was a gigantic, unreachable house outside the Wall…”_

“How he could move there? With a sick woman and a child…?” John frowned, elbows now placed down on his knees. 

_“Not so unreachable, apparently, because he found it, and he kept working there, searching for a cure to save his wife. I had no idea of what he was doing; we didn’t talk to each other for months until he called me. He needed my help, some advice… and he told me that he was on the other side of the Wall.”_ He sighed, _“I tried to convince him to come back but was impossible to make him change his mind, and in the end, curiosity won over everything: he told me how to cross the Wall and where the house was. Once I got there, he was different, he was… desperate. On a sense, I think he was just like me when I also lost everything, after Danica’s massacre…”_

John was there, that day. Fighting something like Danica was probably one of those memories you simply cannot erase. 

_“But even in his desperation, he didn’t lose his scientific mind, and he proved it to me with the modification he needed to try on the DRNs.”_ Nigel looked at him again, _“I once said that the soul is the story, what make us what we are, and those were his words when he told me that he needed to mix human’s cells with the Synthetic Soul. It was still just a theory, and he needed my help to make it work. It was illegal, we knew it, so we had to try it there, in the Dark Zone. No one would’ve ever know.”_ He shook his head, looking at him again, _“I tried to stop him… I tried to tell him that it was risky, that he still had a son to take care of, but he was sure that his wife would never wake up and that if was the only way to save a least a part of her, he had to try.”_

John wished he could say something about how crazy that sounded, but how he could judge actions that he probably would’ve done for his own family as well? 

Nigel sit down again, _“I won’t try to explain the process to you- how we managed to bond human and machine it’s a secret that will die with me… but it was the last hope left to a man, a friend, so I decided to help him. We knew that his wife wasn’t responding well to the medication and living in that place wasn’t helping… and we couldn't even give her the peaceful death she deserved.”_ he looked down, then force himself to continue, _“The Synthetic Soul changed when we try it into the new DRN we modified, and at first- at first her mind was actually transferred, she seemed to recognize us, but it lasted just a moment and then… then we lost her. Suddenly the android went crazy and she- and that thing tried to kill us.”_ His back slowly placed against the couch, eyes looked on the floor, _“I tried to take him away, but he kept saying that he could fix it… and then she found their son. He probably heard the chaos and came to check. I saw him run upstairs, then the DRN had thrown him out a window… but we had to destroy that monstrosity first and in the end, we did it, but my friend was badly injured. The last thing he told me was to promise him to never make a mistake like that ever again.”_ He looked up at him, now with a mix of sadness, anger and regret, _“I then ran looking for his son. I found him in the garden, barely alive… and I couldn’t keep that promise.”_

John took a deep breath, already knowing what he was going to say. 

_“I couldn’t just give up and kill him. He wasn’t my son, but he was my family, so I decided to try one last time the connection with the Synthetic Soul.”_ Nigel continued, then breathed deeply, _“And it worked. With some modifications, the Synthetic Soul started to react, but not like the first time. What I saw was incredible: the DRN started talking like him, smiling like him, he- the DRN was just like him if he would be awake.”_ His voice lowered a bit, _“Because that was the only problem I wasn’t able to solve. I saved his mind, his soul into a semi-living form, but his physical body didn’t react. He never woke up after the accident in the mansion… but the connection was possible, so I tried again and again until I changed the program completely and the DRN series slowly became a secret project to save that kid. The connection with him helped them to feel empathy and bond better with us… I hoped that that could help me find a way to use the Synthetic Soul to wake him up somehow, one day.”_

“So Dorian’s memories were the kid’s memories…” John whispered dryly. 

_“I was sure that it could work in the future, but I forgot a detail… I forgot to consider the DRN itself evolving, changing and- and thinking on his own. Giving him the chance to feel, also gave them the consciousness of existence, and the result was two entity trying to live in one body.”_ Nigel sighed, _“I wish I could say that the problem with the DRNs, their going crazy, wasn’t my fault, but it was… and the consequence of my mistake was the decommissioning of the DRNs. Losing them and losing the memories, the feelings, the parts of that kid that I was trying so hard to save.”_ Nigel stopped for a moment, looking very tired and old, _“I tried to use artificial bodies to allow that poor kid to grow up- at least his soul. Allowing him to feel, to live even if he could move from a bed. I hoped that I would be able to give all the memories back to him.”_

John shook his head, a hand over his face. 

Nigel smiled sadly, _“Dorian was one of few DRN that actually managed to keep those memories safe, helping them grow, that’s why I needed him… but he was yours then, and he was cherishing his own life so much that I let him stay with you. I was still working on how to reverse the process about the souls after all. I found a solution just some weeks ago… but, as you probably already know, I won’t live long enough to see the results. That’s why I needed Anna and the others. They are my last hope. I helped all of them somehow, to get freedom, revenge or justice, and all I asked them in return was to help me complete my work. I told them to keep an eye on Dorian and try to approach you two only if he would’ve shown some kind of problem. If you’re watching this video, he probably did, and I am sorry. I am sorry you lost him.”_

John just kept looking down, angry and sad. 

Nigel took another deep breath, staying silent for a moment, then said, _“I’ve left a video for Dorian too, in the mansion. I told him what those memories were, why he started to see them and what he could do about them, and the consequences of doing it or refusing to do it. I let him free to decide, John. I didn’t force him to do anything. I honestly still think that he could refuse to sacrifice himself because of you.”_ He smiled lightly, still a veil of sadness over his face, _“The truth is that the Synthetic Soul is not perfect and I knew it, but I didn’t stop. Once a DRN start to malfunction, it’s just a matter of time before the android will stop working. I don’t know what could be worse for you, watching Dorian slowly go crazy or saw him die for someone… In both cases, no one could save him, John. Not you, and not even me.”_

John stood, taking some step behind the couch, placing his hands on it, head low. He couldn’t watch anymore. After a moment, Nigel’s voice echoed again in the living room. 

_“The reverse process will be quick, he won’t even realize to be deactivated. From there, Anna and her group will not be able to do anything anymore. Only Ray, my private MX… he will take care of the rest. My last attempt to save what’s left of my family.”_

John slowly looked back at the video. 

_“If this won’t be enough to save the kid, Ray will let him die. I know his father will never forgive me for what I did… Hope is all I have now. I like to think that if Dorian accepted to help us, maybe there’s a chance that this time something will be different…”_ a tear fell from his eye and he made it disappear with a slow movement of a hand, then looked at him, _“I think that you made the difference in Dorian’s life, Detective. Maybe that’s why he never showed any problem for so long: you loved him, you accepted **him** like your partner and friend. He didn’t lose himself because of you.”_ He took a last, deep breath, _“I know I have no right to ask you anything, but… don’t hate him for the decision he will take. If you can, remember him as a friend. That will probably be enough for Dorian. And for me.”_ With a little, sad smile from Doctor Vaughn, the video faded and the television reappearing behind it. 

John stayed still for a long moment, all that story still floating around him. He leaned against the couch and put a hand over his eyes, trying to contain the bomb of emotions ready to explode in his chest. 

 

After an hour, Anna was still sitting outside on the balcony, and she turned around when she heard footsteps approaching. 

John didn’t know how his face was at the moment, but was bad enough to push her on her feet and slowly hug him after a second of hesitation. He just let her, without pushing her away, but not hugging back either. 

When she let him go, John saw sincere sadness on her face, “You already saw the video?” he asked. 

“No, it was only for you. Doctor Vaughn told me that if our plan was going to work, he had to tell you the truth…” 

“Yeah, he did. Very comforting.” Sitting on a chair, he stared at the city feeling completely empty. 

Anna sat again too, next to him. “He thought that you deserved to know.” 

“Knowing that Dorian is dead because of a kid that could be already dead by now... Vaughn didn’t even tell me his name. You know something about him?” 

“No. He only told me that he had to try saving him. And the truth about the DRNs, of course.” 

“And about Dorian.” 

“He told us to keep an eye on him. We weren’t expecting him to actually start to malfunction like Doctor Vaughn said.” 

“He was fine. Dorian never had any problems until the memories started.” 

Anna thought for a moment, “Doctor Vaughn always blamed himself for what he did, changing the original project of the Synthetic Soul into a- some kind of _fake life_ keeping a human soul…” she sighed. “All the suffering that came because of it is only on his hands.” 

He looked at her and she smiled sadly. 

“I told him that his plan was wrong, John. What he did, keeping that kid alive, using him to create a connection with the Synthetic Soul program…” she shook her head, “The one and only time we talked about it, he just said that the other option was to kill a kid that was like a son to him, and he wasn’t brave enough to do it.” 

“Just brave enough to use his brain and test on him.” 

“He was desperate. Compared to what he could’ve done with the DRNs, I think Danica wasn’t even that big of a deal.” 

John didn’t said anything because that was true: Nigel Vaugh could’ve created something much, much worse than that. He took a breath and asked, “You’ll know if his plan will work?” 

“No. Ray, the MX he saw with me, was the only one knowing what to do next. He was programmed to stay with me until I would give you that pen drive, then he had to leave. He already has his orders in his program from Doctor Vaughn himself.” 

“So, in the end, we’ll never know if Dorian died for nothing or not.” 

Anna thought for a moment, “I can’t promise you anything, but I can try to search for something… information about them.” 

“And why you should?” 

“Because I own you that much.” She said calmly, “And because I’m the only one able to search for it. The rest of the team is already gone.” 

“You mean Yvern and those guys?” 

She nodded, “We all promised Doctor Vaughn to fulfill this mission. He saved us, and he asked our help in return. After that, we were free to live our lives.” 

“So what are you going to do, now?” 

“That’s up to you.” 

John stared at her, “I guess I don’t need to kill you to make you suffer. Your life seems already fucked up enough.” He saw her smile a bit, a sad smile, “And arrest you would be a pleasure, but that means to lose the information you said you can give me.” 

“So, what are you going to do?” 

He sighed, “I’ll wait for that pleasure, then.” 

Anna stared at him, “You’ve changed, John.” 

“Yeah?” 

“I was expecting you to react much worse to all this.” 

“Well, the last whiskey I had is already gone, so…” 

“I’m serious.” 

John looked at her, now more coldly, “You think I wouldn’t let that kid die and get Dorian’s soul back if I could? The only reasons I am still here, it’s because I don’t have a damn clue of where he is... and because was Dorian’s choice. No one forced him to sacrifice himself, he did it because he wanted to. It was important to him and I respect that. I am trying to.” 

“You talk about him like he was human, even now.” Anna said, “I should’ve thanked him for how much he changed you for the better.” 

“If you’re trying to be funny-“ 

“I am not.” She was completely serious, “I mean every single word.” 

The Detective just looked away. 

After another moment of silence, Anna took something from her pocket and placed a little piece of paper on the table between them, “If you need me, that’s my number. I’ll let you know if I’ll found something.” She stood up and when he just nodded, she left. 

When the air was becoming cold, John took a deep breath and grabbed his phone to make a call that he should have done months ago. “Hey Rudy- yeah, everything’s fine. Listen- no, listen, why don’t you come here? I think we have a lot to talk about…”

 

It took John almost two hours to explain what happened after he crossed the Wall, reached the mansion and what he found there. He talked about the Watchers, about Anna’s friends that apparently used that mansion like a hiding spot, the incredible laboratory underground and how he found Dorian down there. 

Talking about those moments wasn’t easy, but wasn’t hard like it was before either. And John kind of needed to share what happened with someone after all that time. 

On his part, Rudy stayed sat on the other side of the table, listening until the Detective said what Doctor Vaughn’s plan was from the beginning and the truth about the DRNs problem. 

After that, there was silence for a long moment. Rudy blinked multiple times before commenting with a single, amazed “My God.” Hiding his face into his hands. 

John took a deep breath after all that talk and waited, allowing him to collect his thoughts. 

Rudy lowered one hand on the table, one still against his head, “So that’s what happened… what really happened to the DRNs. They- they were actually made to be human?” he looked at him with a clear need of help. 

“Almost.” John nodded slowly. “Vaughn wasn’t really interested in that, he was just trying to save a soul, apparently.” 

“It couldn’t be just a fake soul… moving the DRNs, I mean. I knew- I always thought that there was something more, something that Doctor Vaughn never said to anyone, but this…” Rudy shook his head, looking sad now, “I doubt he ever thought about the DRNs actually reacting to a human soul and- and living with one. They shouldn’t have felt the difference, but they did. He was so close to creating something we’ll probably never see in our lifetime.” 

“That’s not really a bad thing if you ask me…” 

Rudy tried to focus on him and smiled, a bit embarrassed, “Well, I’m a scientist too… I will always wonder how he managed to connect a human soul into a synthetic program and make it work- how he allowed an android to grow with it.” He sighed, “But I guess that his decision to die with his secrets was for the better.” 

John nodded slowly, and then stood, “What about you? What happened here while I was on the other side?” he asked, moving to grab two beers from the kitchen. 

“Well, I kept watching the Wall, waiting until the explosions alerted everyone and the chaos started. I couldn’t contact you, so I… I keep waiting. It want’s very nice.” 

“Sorry about that.” John handed a bottle to him, sitting down again. 

Rudy nodded thanks, “When they found you outside, Valerie- Detective Stahl called me saying that you were fine and alone. After that, I called the Captain and told her everything.” He saw the Detective stop the bottle against his lips, looking at him in surprise, “I had to, John. I didn’t know what could happen and she needed to know to be able to help you.” 

“Yeah, I know… it’s just that she didn’t ask me anything about it.” 

Rudy sighed, “After I talked to her, she ordered me to delete everything about Dorian: the memories, the records, everything, if I wanted to keep working in the Police. Usually, a DRN gone missing is not a big deal, but he worked with the police officer, and he should have been with you all the time. She said that people would start making questions and we were already risking too much…”

“I warned you to stay out of it.”

“They found a robotic butterfly with you. It would be hard for them to connect it to me, but Detective Stahl saw it and, well… she knows that I made them… and I am a terrible liar.” 

John sighed, “Sorry.” 

“Don’t worry about it, but I did as the Captain asked, so I don’t have the memories and all our research anymore. On the good side, we’re free from any possible investigation.” He smiled sadly, “They will probably keep asking you about what happened outside the Wall, but… we’ll handle it.” 

John kept staring at the bottle, “He was sure about what he had to do in that lab… he was so damn sure, Rudy...” 

He looked sadly at him, “I know it’s hard for us to accept, but we also know that Dorian always made the right choice. I don’t think watching him start to malfunction would be any easier.” 

“He once said that he felt fear, but he wasn’t scared at all in that room. He was going to destroy himself, and he… he smiled.” John shook his head, passing a hand over his face.

Rudy smiled a bit, “That’s probably because you were there with him, and he was doing what he thought was right. He had no reason to be scared.” 

John tried his best to hide the pain at those words, “But I was. I was-“ he shook his head, “I was useless. I should’ve stopped him.” 

“How?” 

“I don’t know… somehow I should have.”

“A ceiling fell on you, John…” 

“Wasn’t just that. I was stuck there, but I- I suddenly gave up. I just let him do it.”

“Maybe because deep down you knew that Dorian was right.” Rudy saw him look down with a sad and guilty expression on his face. The Doctor took a breath and then said, “I told you I had to delete everything about Dorian, and that included also a message I got right after you left the city. I couldn’t keep it, so I print it.” He fetched a paper page from his pocket and placed it on the table, in front of him, “It’s pretty anonymous, so I guess you can keep it if you want.” He added, then moved his beer bottle aside, “I’ll make some tea, alright?” and stood up, moving to the kitchen. 

John frowned a bit, hearing the noises behind himself. He grabbed the page and opened it, reading the few lines of words: _Rudy, I have to do something that John will never forgive me for, so please, tell him that none of this is his fault. It’s my decision, and I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to say goodbye to him. He’s going to miss me a lot, so it’s up to you to help him out. Tell him that I won’t forget how he never gave up on me._

John took a deep breath trying to keep his eyes dry, but he felt the tears provoking him anyway. “You always have to say what I need to hear until the end, don’t you?” He whispered, staring at the message and, for the first time, smiling a bit at the memory of Dorian.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And... we're done. Thanks to who followed the story until the end, hope you like it, and sorry for the mistakes <3

Epilogue 

One year later

Sandra Maldonado could look a very strict person, and being Captain of a Police Department rarely allowed her to look weak or sweet, even if there was exceptions time to time.

That rare exception usually was John Kennex. 

She knew he was a good cop, a good friend, a very intuitive Detective with some difficult years on his back, but she also knew that he get over it- mostly. She let him take his time before coming back to work, and God knows how stubbornly they screamed at each other to make that step forward since Dorian was gone. 

He used every chance he had to avoid going back into action, asking to work only in the office or from home, everything but investigating on the field. He once actually yelled that stop being a cop was his choice and only his. 

Sandra tried to understand, she waited, and then she marched against the man like a tank and slammed some sense into his stupid brain until he accepted a case. 

It was the beginning of summer again, almost a year after John’s accident outside the Wall. 

Captain Sandra Maldonado was drinking a coffee when someone entered her office and she stopped, blinking with her mouth partly open. 

John Kennex and Detective Paul were standing in front of her desk, both of them soaking wet, dirty of mud and who knows what else. 

“That’s it. I am done with him.” Paul said, passing a hand over his forehead to remove what looked like grass, “I told you- and I told _you_ as well,” he said pointing a finger at the other man for a second, “that this wasn’t going to work.” 

“I’m surprised it lasted so far,” John commented, sneezing and then coughing a bit. 

“I AM DONE.” Paul said again at the Captain, “I can’t work like this and I want my MX back. Find someone else for him because he’s going completely insane.” 

“I told you to wait outside that tunnel.” John barked at him, “You never listen to me, that’s the problem.” 

“I would be dead if I’d keep waiting there!” 

“No, you wouldn’t. I was going to-“ 

“To do nothing! He got us stuck in there, you could only-” 

“You just want to do a drama about it.” 

“Easy to say when it’s not your life at risk!” 

“Gentlemen.” Sandra stood up, calling them back on attention. “The killer was captured?” 

“Yes,” John said, and the other just shook his head, looking away. 

“Alright. So, if the case is solved, I’m sure there must be a way to solve the problem between you two as well?” She said patiently. 

“No, because there’s no way to put some sense into him.” Paul insisted more seriously now, “He want to work alone, he don’t need anyone covering him because he just keep rushing into the fight like a maniac and I’m done with risking my life for nothing. If he just needs a bait, give him an MX.” That said, Paul nodded a salute to her and left the office. 

John sighed, eyes low, but when he looked up, the Captain was staring at him with a cold glare, “Hey, if he doesn’t like me, that’s his problem.” He said, pointing behind himself. 

“I think the problem here it’s only one…” 

“Yes, I know, Paul is just-“ 

“and that problem is you.” 

“Me? I was doing my job, he ignored my plan.” 

“The plan that almost got both of you killed?” 

John tried to say something but her look pushed him to reconsidered it, “Maybe just Paul.” He murmured in the end.

Sandra shook her head, passing a hand over her forehead. “This is how you’re going to work from now on? Trying to kill your partner?” 

“Paul is not- we’re not partners…” 

“Yes, trying to kill him makes that very clear.” 

“I don’t have a partner. I don’t want one, you know that.” 

“Well, I think it’s time to use my powers as Captain and force you to change your mind then.” 

“I told you I was just going to try with Paul, and you’ve seen how it ended. Let me work alone or not at all.” 

“You know I can’t let you do that.” 

“You also know you can fire me, then.” 

“That’s how it is now?” Sandra asked nervously, “Have you any idea of what I did- what I am still doing to keep you here?” 

“I never asked you to put yourself in trouble because of me.” He said, voice serious the same way, “I can stay at the desk for the rest of my career.” 

“No, you don’t want that, and I am not going to put my best man on the bench.” 

John sighed, smiling a bit at her, despite everything. 

Sandra sighed and sat down again, “Listen, I know it was hard, maybe still is, but it’s been a year, John… you’re fine, you can do your job efficiently like always- you just managed to solve a case. With Paul.” She saw him looking down, “If there’s another problem, tell me. Maybe we can do something about it.” 

“There’s only one thing that could make me change my mind, and we both know that’s something impossible.” 

She stared at him for another moment, then said “I am not going to give up on you, Kennex, but I can’t let you go back into the street alone, so…” she took something from the desk and placed a folder on it, in front of him to see. 

John stared at it and then looked at her, “You want to replace me with some young blood? Good for you.” 

“That’s for you.” She said, “I know you don’t want any android, so I asked for a recruit from the academy to start some practice with you on the field.” 

He blinked, “What?” 

“It was pretty clear that Paul wouldn’t have been your partner for long. I was going to talk to you about it today anyway…”

“I’m not going to babysit anyone.” 

“He will probably babysit you, that’s the point.” 

“You’re joking, right?” 

“I asked for the best recruit they have. If you read the files it’s-“ 

“You can take a new agent and let me sign for my retirement, instead.” He saw her squirt his eyes, ready to shot him right there on the spot, “If you’re expecting me to train someone, I think you misunderstood my words: I don’t want a partner, nor train anyone.” 

“Who’s the Captain here, again?” 

“The one that is trying to blackmail me, apparently.” 

“It's not blackmailing, is starting to return that millions of favors you own me.” 

“Not blackmail you said?” 

Sandra was going to lose his patience, “John, I’ve let you do what you wanted for a year. You tried working alone already, and you were almost thrown out of a window of a skyscraper-“ 

“That wasn’t my fault.” 

“Then you started working with Paul and you made his life a nightmare and I sure need to give him a bonus for what he has been through in the last months, and now _both of you_ almost got killed.” 

“And that _almost_ made all the difference.” 

“It doesn’t make any damn difference!” she yelled, standing up again, hands smashing on the desk. 

“ _Almost_ doesn’t mean dead! We were fine and got the killer!” 

“That’s not the point!” 

“Excuse me... Captain?” Valerie knocked on the glass door, staring worried at the two of them. 

“What?” she barked angrily. 

“A call for you in the hall. Someone from the Police Academy asked to talk with you.” 

Sandra took a deep breath to calm herself, nodding, and then looked back at the man, “We’re not done. You will keep hunting killers for me and you are not going to do it alone. You have my word on that.” That said she marched away from the office. 

Valerie looked at her Captain walking away yelling at someone outside, then he looked at him, “You really made her angry...” 

“I’m not the one threatening an agent.” He sighed sitting on one of the chairs, slowly removing his dirty, wet jacket, “I didn’t ask for any favor from anyone.” 

“She’s just worried about you. We all are, even Paul.” She said, standing next to him that snorted a laugh. She waited a moment and then said more calmly, “I miss him too, you know? He wasn’t even my partner, but- it wasn’t hard to notice that he was different from the others.” 

John kept looking down, then passed a hand through his hair, “He was.” He said, leaning against the back of the chair, “And I know I can still do my job, it’s just… I feel like I don’t have a reason to do it anymore. If I can’t even save an android…” he shook his head, “Sorry, I know it’s stupid.”

“It isn’t, but you saved a lot of other people, John… Human people.” 

“Yeah, I just let down the ones that I care about.” He shook his head, cursing at himself for saying it aloud. 

Valerie smiled sadly, “You once said that we can’t save everyone. I think that’s what people like us have to keep in mind. I am sure that Dorian would’ve want to see you keep doing what he can’t do anymore.” 

_“We’re made to be cops”_

John felt a pang of pain at the name and the voice called back from his memory. “Are you trying some Chromo trick on me?” He smiled slightly, hesitant. 

Valerie laughed softly, “No… that’s just what I think.” She smiled before left the room. 

John took a deep breath and stood, moving to the trashcan to squeeze the jacket, letting the water flood into it. “Damn, stupid tunnel… stupid killer… and stupid Paul…” he murmured, squeezing more and more. 

“Captain Maldonado?” Someone asked from the door. 

“No, she’s- she’s downstairs, in the hall.” John said, looking back at the figure in the doorstep just for a second, “She’ll be back in a moment.” 

“Oh… ok. Thanks.” 

“Hey- you can wait here if you want. I better leave before she comes back anyway.” John turned around to leave and froze on the spot: the young man, around twenty-four maybe, was wearing the police suit; he looked a bit skinny, with short dark hair and two light-green eyes shining on his brown skin. He was… 

The young man was smiling politely, but that smile slowly faded, and a frown of confusion and curiosity appeared. 

John felt a step closer to his first heart attack watching that expression that he discovered he could recall so well after all that time: that was a copy of Dorian. Something was different, like the eyes, maybe the lines of his face were less perfect, but… 

He also discovered that he couldn’t move, nor talk. He tried, but his voice was suddenly gone, so he just closed his mouth, staring at the other man without knowing what was going on, and he suddenly saw him smile sadly and walk forward, trapping him in a tight hug. His heart skipped a beat there… probably more than one. He hardly swallowed something like a mountain of feelings and looked down at the man that was hugging him. It couldn’t be Dorian- he wasn’t Dorian… but still, he slowly placed a hand on his back. 

After a moment that seemed like a year, the unknown man took a breath and slowly let go, taking a step back, “S-sorry. I’m sorry,” he laughed nervously, “that was- embarrassing.”

“Just a bit…”

“I don’t know why I- I’m sorry.” 

“It- it’s fine.” 

“I wasn’t- I wasn’t trying to harass you or anything.” 

“Harass me…?” 

“I’m really sorry. I swear, I usually don’t go hugging people. It won’t happen again.” 

John was at loss for words. 

The young man looked at him blushing even more and then sent a hand forward, “I am David. David Rhode.” 

John nodded slowly, then woke up and grabbed his hand before was too late, “John Kennex.” 

David blinked and smiled again, “Detective John Kennex.” 

The said Detective felt that heart attack ready to strike once and for all. 

“Wait, Kennex…? Oh, so it’s you! Oh my God, it’s you…” David’s happiness slowly faded into more embarrassment, “I’m supposed to be your new partner, starting tomorrow- I mean, I’m the recruit... from the Academy… Not bad as first impression, huh?” he said smiling nervously, face still red. 

After a second of silence, John asked, honestly perplexed, “Why you hugged me?” because his mind was still slowly trying to elaborate. 

David looked like someone punched him. “I- I don’t know. It never happened to me before… I just felt like I had to.” He frowned a bit, “We never meet before, do we?” 

John fought the urge to go into a never-ending speech, or hug him again, and just said, “Maybe you saw me in some dossier, about old cases.” 

“Maybe… yeah.” He nodded slowly, still staring, then smiled again, “How come you don’t have a partner?” 

“I- I work better on my own.” 

“Yeah, I can see that.” David nodded again, now smiling ironically at his wet clothes. 

“Maybe I’m just waiting for the right one.” John closed his eyes, shaking his head, “Ok, that came out wrong…” 

“Just a bit.” 

“Not as much as that hug.” 

David sighed, “You’re not going to let me live with that, are you?” 

John huffed and smiled a bit, “That’s just the beginning.”

.-.-.

Almost a week later, John was sitting in the car, phone on his ear, waiting for an answer that came after three rings.

“John.” 

“I was waiting for you to call me.” 

“I know.” Anna said, a little smile into her voice, “I needed to fix some things first. You know, the last year had been pretty intense.” 

“So I have to thank you for the heart attack I almost got a week ago?”

“Not just me, but… I have my part of the fault.” 

“You knew where the kid was all along, didn’t you?” 

“No. Actually, he searched for me some months after the last time we met.” 

John frowned a little, “He did?” 

“Yes. He said he found my info in a computer. I was the only one that he could call.” 

“Coincidence?” 

“I don’t think so, no.” She sighed, “But maybe was for the better?” 

“You’re asking the wrong person.” 

“I know, sorry. I wasn’t even sure he was human at first, but he is. David is completely human and in perfect health. Apparently, there was someone there that took care of him.” 

“There _where_?” 

“Outside the Wall, at the borders of the state. I have no idea who or how he moved there, but the bunker he was in was perfectly functional, with the best medical technologies. There was everything to keep him alive and help his rehabilitation when he would wake up.” 

John was staring intently at the road, but trying to imagine that place, “You think was Doctor Vaugh’s doing?”

“Probably. David just told me that he found a message from him, but he didn’t show it to me.”

“Creating a bunker on the other side of the state… He really cared about this kid.” 

“He could’ve lived there for some years without moving outside if he wanted… but once I got there, after I told him what happened, he was ready to leave, asking me to take him away, to take him home.” Anna sighed, “He was terrified, John. He woke up in there alone, after almost ten years sleeping…” 

“He- wait, alone? You just said people took care of him?” 

“Someone sure did. His body wasn’t stiff, he wasn’t crawling on the floor; the place was clean and in order. Someone must have keep an eye on everything, but when I got there, there was no one, just him.” 

John frowned, “They left because he was awake?” 

“I don’t know. I’m pretty sure there were only androids keeping him safe down there, but apparently they left for some reason.” 

“And they shouldn’t have.” 

“After everything Vaughn did for this kid? No. I was expecting an army waiting for me at the door.” 

John took a deep breath, “There was any kind of trace? Nothing that could help understand what happened?” 

“No. There were cameras around the place, but not records, they were just for live viewing.” Anna huffed a laugh, “You’re thinking about crossing the Wall again to investigate, are you?” 

“Who, me?” 

“I know what you’re thinking, and I can assure you: Dorian wasn’t there.” 

John tried to hide the stab of pain in his chest. 

“David wanted to visit his old house, and I told him that the mansion is not there anymore. The house collapsed. What didn’t fell down the cliff, are just ruins.” She took a deep breath, “I’m sorry, John.” 

He stayed silent, closing his eyes over those words. “So he knows the truth? About what happened there?” 

“I told him about his family and the DRNs, but he knows nothing about you and Dorian, unless Vaughn told him something. He knows that the Synthetic Soul worked and helped him to wake up from his coma.”

“Why you haven't told him that I was there?” 

“Because that’s up to you to say. I couldn’t take that decision for you.” 

“Yeah, you could just throw him at my face like a damn bomb…” 

A moment of silence, “I thought it was the right thing to do. He was going to the city anyway, and God knows what could’ve happened if I let him go on his own…” 

“You said you were done with Vaughn’s promise. You don’t have to help him anymore.” 

“I know, but…” 

They both stayed silent for a moment. 

“I wanted to do this. Not for Doctor Vaughn, but for you... and for Dorian. I think he would’ve helped him the same way.” 

“If he was still alive, maybe, but he’s not. He died to save him. The irony, huh?” 

“I understand if you hate him-“ 

“I doubt you understand anything at this point.” 

“He needs help.” Anna said, strong and firmly, shutting him up, “He needs protection, he needs to understand the world he’s back in. You couldn't stand Dorian dying for nothing, and he actually didn’t. You said you respect his decision, but now you want the kid to disappear?” 

John was staring frustrated at the car’s radio, “Why you sent him to me? Why you couldn’t just keep him away from here?” 

Anna took a deep breath, calming herself down, “Because he told me he needed help to join the police. He wanted to be a cop in the city since he was little.” 

John let out a resigned breath, closing his eyes, passing a hand over them. 

“You told me to search for information and I found him. I thought that send him to you was a good decision, but if you want me to take him away, I can do that.” Anna said coldly, “I can drag him away from the city, but I can’t assure you he won’t try to run here again. He doesn't want to stay in the Dark Zone, nor know anything about androids technologies- he almost had a panic attack when I explained to him what happened with the DRN that attacked him.” 

“He remembers what happened in the mansion?” 

“Most of it.” 

Was John’s turn to take a deep breath, looking outside the passenger’s window. 

“His identity is safe. I took care of everything. It was actually easy because Doctor Vaughn apparently deleted everything about his friend from- well, everywhere. There was nothing at all about David.” 

“This man doesn’t have a name yet?” John murmured. 

“Marcus. His name was Marcus Rhode.” 

“Rhode? You let him keep his real last name?” 

“I told David that it was a risk, but he wanted to keep it. Like I said, you need to dig deep down to find something about his family, and what you’ll find are just report about a scientist that died with his wife in a car accident.”

“Car accident?” 

“David asked me to write that. I convinced him that if he wanted to live here, some lie was necessary. It should be fine.” 

“What about the Police Academy?” 

“We may have added something here and there…” 

John’s resigned groan was enough as a comment to that. 

“But just the strictly necessary to let him in. Don’t ask me how, but he already knew how to use a gun and other weapons. He also knew some laws… recent laws.” 

“Are you trying to say that he kept some of the memories from- from the Synthetic Soul?” 

“At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised.” 

John placed his back against the driver’s seat.

Anna probably felt his hesitation because she sounded a bit worried, “John, if this is too much-“ 

“How can I know? You found the human version of Dorian and throw it at me. How am I supposed to react?”

“He’s not the human version of Dorian. Dorian was his robotic version.” 

“If you’re saying that Dorian never existed in the first place, don’t, ok? I can’t deal with that right now.” 

“You have to, if you want to give David a chance.” 

“What if I don’t want to?” 

“Well, he’s already your partner, so that means that you _want to_.” 

“That’s because I had no other choice. Between you and the Captain, I don’t know who’s worst.” 

Anna sighed, “John, I’m not lying. David still needs help. I have no idea of what happened in that bunker, why he was alone, and I know he’s struggling to get his life back… he can’t do it alone, and I can’t stay in the city long enough to protect him. You’re the only one that can do something for him, trying to understand him… But if you really don’t what to, just say the word and I’ll take him away from here.” 

John shook his head, staring at the traffic running next to the car, “And then what? Put him back in that bunker and throw the key into the ocean?” 

“I don’t know… but I know enough to force him to leave. Just like you could.” 

“I’m not going to stab him in the back. I’ll rather kick him out myself.” 

“That’s what you want to do then?” 

“No.” John said, thinking about Dorian’s last smile inside the mansion a year before, “I want to be sure that Dorian’s sacrifice won’t go to waste.” He sighed, “I’ll keep an eye on him, and if he will start to be a problem, I’ll take care of him.” 

There was a moment of silence on the other side of the call. 

“I doubt I’ll be able to kill him anymore,” John added tiredly, “but I lost a friend because of him, so he better prove to deserve the second chance Dorian give him.” 

Anna stayed silent again, then patiently said, “If you’ll need something, call me. I’ll try to stay around much as I can.” 

“Ok. Thanks.” He said, then, “Anna…” 

“Yes?” 

“I mean it. Thanks.” 

“Don’t mention it.” She said and there was a light smile in her voice before she closed the call. 

John put down the phone, staring at it. What should he do now? Tell David that he already knew everything about him? That his second partner died to let him live? That at first he was ready to kill him to have Dorian back? 

“HEY.” 

John flinched and his phone dropped between his feet at the loud hit against the car’s door. He looked to his right and found David frowning at him outside the passenger’s window, “-the hell, man...”

“Sorry, did I scared you?” 

John sighed, trying to get back his phone, “Yes, because you clearly drank too much coffee.” 

“I like coffee.” 

“ _I_ like coffee. You drink a cup every hour, that’s not love, that's a _problem_.” Fetched the phone, John found a coffee cup handed to him. 

“I thought you wound like some,” David said with a smile. 

John saw that smile other days too, and it was always so clearly different from Dorian’s. Not because Dorian wasn’t human, but because they were- to John, they were just two different smiles on the almost same person’s face. 

“You don’t want it?” He asked. 

“You sure don’t need it,” John said, taking the cup. 

“Long call.” 

“Huh?” 

“I saw you on the phone.” David said, sitting next to him, leaving the door open, “It looked like an important call, so I waited.” 

John didn’t answered, staring at his drink. 

“Sorry. Not my business.” 

The Detective sighed at the irony only he could see. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure.” 

“Why you want to be a cop?” John looked at him and saw something in his eyes that could be tension, but lasted just for a second. 

“I wanted to be a cop since I was a kid.” David said more relaxed against the seat, “I loved the black suit, but honestly, it’s not really comfortable wearing it all the time.” He said, looking down at his own police uniform.” 

“Well, you could become a detective…” 

“I’m considering it, you know?” he nodded and saw him choke with the coffee, “Come on, I’m working on it.” He objected. 

“You’ll make people confess with the power of your hugs?” 

“That story again? Very mature, John...” he stopped himself, looking away, “I mean, sir.” 

John kept staring outside. That was why he told him to call him Kennex- or sir. The times he used his name, it was just a so painful dejayù… He probably schooled him angrier that he intended the first time, but he couldn’t stop himself. 

David, on his part, didn’t objected and forced himself to call him sir… but just like the detective, sometimes he couldn’t stop himself. He was just a very friendly, very alive and young man of twenty-five years apparently not used to call people by surname. 

It was a stupid request, John knew it, but… 

“What about you?” David asked, calling him back to the present, “Why you wanted to be a detective?” 

John blinked, not expecting the question. “Well… my father was a Detective. I guess I wanted to be like him.” He thought better about it, and stared intently at him. 

David met his gaze just for a moment, “I see.” 

After a moment of hesitation, John decided to ask, “You’re the only cop in your family?” 

“Yeah.” 

Anna warned him that talk about his past wasn’t a good idea… “Now I’m putting the nose in your business. My bad.” 

“It’s fine.” David smiled a bit, “It’s just... I lost my family when I was a kid. I don’t really like to talk much about it.” 

John looked at him in light surprise. He wasn’t expecting any explanation at all. “Sorry.” 

David shrugged, “It was a long time ago. Now I’m- I’m living my dream.” He said with a new smile, even if not as bright as before. 

_You really are_ , John thought, then he realized that he was staring at him for way too long and David was grinning now, blushing a bit. John shook his head, “Sorry, I was- I was thinking about something.” 

“Or you just like to stare.”

“I don’t.” 

“You stare at me a lot.” 

“It’s not intentional.” 

“You sure?” 

“I’m not a creep like you.” 

“Again? Really?” 

“You’re the one going around hugging people, you think _that’s_ normal?” 

“I think you liked it if you still think about it.” 

John choked on the coffee again, “Excuse me?” 

“You hugged back, you think I didn’t notice?” 

“God help me…” 

“We’re just like two teddy bears.” 

“Please…” 

“We can hug again if you want.” 

“Shut up or I’ll shut you up.” 

“I wonder how…” David’s sarcastic smile faded in a cough at the homicidal glare of the detective, “Thinking about, I don’t really want to know.” He murmured, looking away. 

John took a deep breath to calm down. Those were the moments able to let him forget who David was and what happened because of him. Talking with him like that, the jokes, the teasing… 

_He’s not the human version of Dorian. Dorian was his robotic version_.

John tightened the grip on the cup: he couldn’t believe that. He couldn’t accept that Dorian and David were simply the same person. Dorian was different, he was- Dorian may have had a connection with David, but he was different. He was himself, as Vaughn said. 

_You’re the only one that can do something for him, trying to understand him…_ , that was what Anna said… but now it sounded more like he had to help him because that was what Dorian would’ve done if he was still alive. Dorian would never abandon him… 

“Sir?” 

John blinked and looked at him. 

David sighed, “You’re reconsidering this, are you?” 

“Sorry- what?” 

“I appreciated that you still wanted to try, but I knew it wasn’t a good idea work together,” David said, “especially after what happened at our first meeting. I’m sorry for the jokes. I Just- I don’t know… I’ve never acted like this. I guess the city is having a bad influence on me.” 

Yes, John decided with the Captain to give the kid a week to test him, and those days literally flew. “No, it’s not about that…” 

“I’ll tell the Captain I’m not ready for this yet. I don’t think I am, honestly.” 

“It’s not about you. I’ve met people stranger than you.” 

David dared to look at him, “Then what?” 

John took a deep breath, placing the cup on his knee, “The first time we met, you asked me why I was without a partner... the reason is that I’ve had two already, and I’ve lost both of them.” He sighed, “It’s not you. I just don’t feel to have another person around me on the field.” 

“I’m sorry, I- I had no idea.” 

John felt bad talking about Dorian like that, especially with him, but he needed to take this very, very carefully. He knew David since less than a week; he was still a complete mystery. 

“But I’m sure they knew the risks, just like we do.” David said after a while, “It could be you or me to die- at any moment, even now… that’s part of the job and I won’t run from my duty, but I understand if you want to work alone.” 

John kept looking in the coffee, knowing that kind of speech too well. He turned to look at him and said, “If the times come, you _better_ run from it, because if I’ll see you trying to kill yourself because some stupid idea, I’ll kill you myself. Is that clear?” 

David seemed surprised for a moment, then smiled a bit and nodded, “Yes sir.” 

John nodded and finished his coffee, looking at the time. “Want to eat something? I’m starving.” 

“Sure. Chinese or Thai?” David asked closing the door and turned, finding him staring again, “You- sorry, I didn’t ask if you like that.” 

“I do…” 

“Oh. Nice. Then which one?” 

John was shaking a bit his head, turning the engine on, “You pick.” 

“Alright… I saw a restaurant not too far, we could stop there.” 

“Seatbelt.” 

“Yes, sir…” 

“And enough with that.” 

“With what?” 

John took a deep, slow breath, “Call me John.” He said, and the little smile he saw appearing on David’s face both break his heart and made it skip a beat.  
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End


End file.
